A ‘ Three Generation’ holiday

We have just sorted out a similar get together for next year.
It's our 50th wedding anniversary, daughter and DIL 40th birthdays and SIL 50th birthday so wanted a big family get together.
Obviously the families have their own ideas on what they think is the perfect holiday taking into account their families.
The answer is compromise.
Based on everyone's likes we have booked a large barn conversion which suits everyone.
Has all the bedrooms and bathroom we require is big enough for people to have their own space and there is a great garden for the children to play in. A plus is we are within 30 minutes from a beach the forest and countryside is within walking distance.

I personally wouldn't choose a cruise if I had children. Unless you are someone who puts them in the club every day you are constantly on the lookout for them, walking back and forth to the (too small) cabin etc.

We have had lovely multi-generation holidays in large houses/ holiday villas with pools and found it fairly easy.
The harder thing is finding the right villa for you.
I would suggest one with (if not en-suites), at least a private bathroom per family. I'd choose somewhere with a big communal space as well as a decent size dining area and would want a pool. Look for a house with places to visit within say half an hour.
The first time, we went one day ahead of our family and did one massive grocery shop for basics and that was a good idea. We hired a local cook one night, ate in a local "family" restaurant another and the "children" each took responsibility for a meal.
People came and went, played board games in the evenings, laughed a lot and argued like only siblings can.
Everyone was eager to repeat it. WE booked a week afterwards in a smart hotel to recover! Lovely!

I personally wouldn't choose a cruise if I had children yeah or just if you like children, or nature, or the places the ship docks....

"Hey kids lets see the world whilst destroying it"
"yeaaaaaaaay"

OK so no-one can fly any where either as it destroys the world. Oh and don't use your car because of the emissions.

lily Exactly. I haven't flown for ten years for this reason and try to walk everywhere or take public transport. With apologies to those who like them, I wouldn't get on a cruise. I've seen them from the shore in the Med, and they block the horizon and do huge damage to places like Venice. To say nothing of thousands of people pouring off them for a quick peek at another culture. And I'd still like to know where they dump 5000 people's produce.

I would tell them that it's ashame they don't want to come on the cruise.. But you'll send them a postcard

"... but the eldest DS and his wife say a cruise is totally unsuitable for their 2 DC who will be aged almost 7 and nearly 4. They would prefer a villa, near a beach and swimming pools."

Ok, so you know ODS and ODIL's preference. Are you ok w/ this? Would YDS and YDIL be ok w/ it? If everyone else besides ODS and ODIL is ok w/ the villa, then I suggest you opt for that.

"However the ship has 4 pools, and lots of options for entertainment. "

Are ODS and ODIL aware of this? If not, you might want to tell them and see if they change their minds. Otherwise, they may just be making an excuse, as a PP suggested, and just don't fancy a cruise for whatever reason. They've let you know how they feel. Now you need to work from there, IMO.

If you really detest the idea of the villa, then you may have to tell them, as some have suggested, that you and the others will be going on a cruise and you're sorry they can't make it. Same if you and YDS and family really prefer the cruise idea. Or you might take each DS and family on a separate holiday. But only if you can afford the time and money.

You say you're going to have a family conference about it. Hope it all gets worked out then.

In some families 3 generation holidays work amazingly well but in others they don't. Just because you are footing the bill does not mean it is not a negotiated holiday. So much depends on the relationships within the family, preferences and expectations of holidays, other plans people may have had if they are working and have limited time off - a million complications. A cruise is my idea of hell on water so not everyone thinks cruises are wonderful.

Talk to your family, take their ideas and preferences onboard (so to speak) and make your plans then. The family holiday may work if it is not a cruise or it may not work at all. It is not a personal rejection, it is a sign that your children have grown up and have their own families, ideas and thoughts. In other words, job well done as a parent.

I've arranged a get together next year for our 50th wedding anniversary.
It's never straight forward is it, families have different ideas of what they like.
Our daughter didn't want to fly so holidays abroad were out.
DIL didn't like the UK location we thought would be lovely for us.
We finally settled on a property for rent which is in an area we don't know, but hope it will be alright.
The property is large enough for us not to be on top of each other and 30 minutes from the beach for the children.
So fingers crossed.
I can only say best of luck.