Recipricocity

Ofcourse, I'd be indignant. Don't send any more cards or cheques....

Dreadful, don’t send anything again.
DHs brother and SIL are the same, we always sent birthday and Christmas gifts of things that we would enjoy ourselves. After years of ignorance, we no longer send anything other than a card.

I'm just wondering why adults send birthday money to each other

Does anyone else do this?

I'm just wondering why adults send birthday money to each other hmm

I'm wondering the same thing. Why on earth are you sending money to them ? Ridiculous.

I got wise after a while when it was one way traffic (us to them) with siblings/in laws.

As we were first in family to have children, they stopped sending cards&presents after their respective 18th birthdays/Christmas and I carried on until theirs celebrated 18th/Christmas accordingly.

Faces were pulled the following year by some and the odd comment/reminder came our way until I said ‘Oh sorry, I thought you’d decided not to bother now that they’re adults?’

I'd stop that straight away

Maybe your brother and sister in law just don't want to get caught up in this cycle mimismo it was a kind thought but maybe just a card in future.

I would have given up after the first couple of years. Sad that more and more people seem to only show care and consideration for their immediate family but seems to be much more common now. Sad but a sign of the more selfish times we live in.

My brother has never, ever sent me a card or asked about my well being.

In future just send a card (go to the cheap cards shop!)

My brother always includes a cheque with my B/Card----and Christmas card too.

I send him cards but not money as he's got more than me.

I sent my sister in law a birthday card for years. She never thanked me or sent me one. Eventually I got fed up and stopped sending them. My brother phoned me and had a go at me for stopping sending them. What a cheek.

I send to niece and her children on DH's side, birthday card for her and card and a tenner each for the children. Also small things for Christmas.

Never get anything from them except the occasional Christmas card, not even thank yous. But they live close to SiL and I think they expect to be included on the cards she sends!

They're always friendly and welcoming when we get together, so I just let it go.

Riverwalk I'm just wondering why adults send birthday money to each other hmm Does anyone else do this?

No - why would you? It just says ‘I can’t be bothered thinking of a present for you and I can’t even be bothered going online and ordering a few flowers’

I’d certainly stop sending cards n money

Every year for about 23 years, I have sent my friend a birthday card and a Christmas card and have never received one in return. I don’t think she even knows when my birthday is and has never bothered to enquire either. I sometimes wonder why I bother but then I do enjoy remembering people on their birthdays and at Christmas time.

In my family there is an unwritten but acknowledged rule....once a child reaches 18 all gifts /money stops ?...but we of course still acknowledge their birthdays with cards to the older generation and texts to the younger! Seems to work for us .

My sister puts a little money straight into my bank for my birthday treat. I genuinly appreciate this & do treat myself , which I haven't got the money to do otherwise. So you see it's good that adults send other adults money sometimes.

I wouldn't bother in future .

This Christmas I've told my sister that I won't be buying presents for anyone apart from my immediate family ie OH 3AC 3DGC. Previously I've bought for the whole extended family but we really can't afford it anymore as we are both on state pension. OH retired in May. There were 12 nieces and nephews, 3 sister's, 15 great nieces and nephews. It felt such a relief. Also will send cards to everyone for birthdays and Xmas but that's it. Birthday presents for our immediate family only.

What? Money for adults? I would find it insulting if any of my friends or family were to give me money at any time. A card or flowers, yes . Not money.

It is hit and miss whether my brother and his wife send me a birthday card - on my 69th even my mother forgot!! I always send a card as I know they mean no disrespect - they just forget. When my brothers wife was having tests for a lung problem I sent her flowers (they live in another country). I did receive a phone call thanking me.

In the OPs case I would continue sending cards but I wouldn't send money or gifts.

I send money as I live abroad and actual presents are much more problematic. Only sent money as supposedly we celebrate the decades with a gift.