Gransnet forums

AIBU

Sending private messages through GN

(59 Posts)
evianers Tue 04-Feb-20 16:50:45

Is it unreasonable when you feel you have something in common with other GNetters, and have therefore sent them a private message, that you might become upset when they simply do not respond?

Ohmother Wed 05-Feb-20 07:05:37

I’ve just looked as I didn’t realise there was a message box. I had two in June’s but at the poster’s request they have been withdrawn. Sorry to Jis if it was something nice or an enquiry.

Hetty58 Wed 05-Feb-20 07:10:56

There should be a clearly visible sign (when you log in) that you have new PMs in your inbox. It's just standard on other forums.

I get an awful lot of emails so don't tend to check them that often.

I have to say 'Sorry, just found this' when I reply to PMs - just not good enough really!

boat Wed 05-Feb-20 07:54:39

This thread prompted me to look in my inbox (I'd forgotten all about it). There were three messages from last February all removed at senders request.

My apologies to Lily65.

JackyB Wed 05-Feb-20 08:05:37

I once got an email informing me that I had a PM but haven't since. Last week I discovered some old messages there which I had not known about.

I just went to check on "My Gransnet" but couldn't find any settings to have these emails sent.

TerryM Wed 05-Feb-20 08:07:34

All clear here. No PM's for me smile

Chewbacca Wed 05-Feb-20 08:31:10

I'm fairly sure that when I first joined GN, many moons ago, the "Inbox" at the top of the page had a * or something, to alert you to the fact that there was a pm waiting to be read. That seems to have disappeared and I now get an email telling me that * has sent a pm and I can access it via the email, or via the Inbox.

Marydoll Wed 05-Feb-20 08:42:45

JackB, the request to receive email notifications of PM is in Inbox settings at the top right hand corner.

If you wish to receive the daily email, go to the bottom of the page, click on My Gransnet and then Settings.

Sorry about the quality of the second photo. I can't get the pixels right. blush

janeainsworth Wed 05-Feb-20 09:00:09

I’ve come to the conclusion that ‘message removed at poster’s request’ doesn’t mean that at all.
I think it means the person has deregistered from GN.
Even if they appear as a reincarnation, it will still say message removed at poster’s request.

gillybob Wed 05-Feb-20 09:09:34

Well blow me down with a feather. I have been on GN since day one and have only just discovered the “inbox” thank you Marydoll I thought my way of doing things seemed very clumsy. Have now ticked the email notification . ✔️

BlueSapphire Wed 05-Feb-20 09:13:56

I didn't even know I had an Inbox until someone who had messaged me posted to tell me on a thread I was on! I now get email notifications if I have a PM.

TerryM Wed 05-Feb-20 09:48:57

Whoohoo I got an email smile

Urmstongran Wed 05-Feb-20 10:08:15

??

Mapleleaf Wed 05-Feb-20 10:47:17

I ticked the email notification box to let me know when I get a PM when I registered, but no longer receive an email notification even though the box is still ticked. Also, the daily email, which I've ticked to receive is very hit and miss in arriving (though I've got it today). Odd.

DillytheGardener Wed 05-Feb-20 12:54:23

I didn’t know there was an inbox, I’m going to have to figure out how to look and see if anyone has messaged me incase I’ve been inadvertently rude confused

aprilrose Sun 09-Feb-20 10:19:59

Goodness me, I am guilty of this . I had not realised there was a PM system here. I didnt know how to find it. I have just looked and found a whole raft of really supportive e mails from people.

I am terribly sorry for being ignorant and not having replied sooner. By the way, I have sent personal apologies to all now. I once again apologise here.

Thank you to for the support everyone.

trisher Sun 09-Feb-20 10:49:38

I have the e-mail box ticked for PMs but never get notified now. No idea why. I have posted about it before and GNHQ said they were looking into it, but nothing has happened. I'm pleased I'm not the only one who doesn't get told. Apologies to ayone who has had to wait for a reply.
Thanks for that idea janeainsworth I've been wondering about a couple of messages that have been wiped.

Elegran Sun 09-Feb-20 11:04:21

If you are on a laptop, look top right for a button labelled "Inbox". I don't know about other gadgets.

I think btinternet somehow loses notification emails, they are probably in the junk folder. I don't get Facebook notifications any more either. Yet another bit of online housekeeping to learn.

Jane10 Sun 09-Feb-20 11:19:52

I've done the settings thing and clicked to be alerted to new emails but it doesn't happen. Doesn't go to spam, nothing. I just have to remember to check my inbox occasionally. Feeling like a poor relation!

trisher Sun 09-Feb-20 11:28:07

I'm poor as well Jane10! Unless of course it's a clique or a secret GN society and we don't belong!!! grin

trisher Sun 09-Feb-20 11:29:20

Incidently I do get e-mails when they delete my posts!

seacliff Sun 09-Feb-20 11:32:56

I do get an email alert. Strange system, when it works for some, and not for others.

Every now and then I just check the InBox anyway.

JackyB Sun 09-Feb-20 12:01:39

Thanks for the tip, Mary doll. I found the Settings section here on my phone but it wasn't on the laptop where I wrote that previous post from.

And : The box for e-mail notifications was ticked! Even if the e-mails landed in the spam box, I would have seen them. I comb carefully through my spam before deleting it because I have had important messages land in there more than once.

quizqueen Sun 09-Feb-20 12:11:57

I have no interest in reading PMs, I find them most intrusive so never open them. This is suppose to be an anonymous site to make comments on and have a discussion. If people are looking for friends, fair enough, then gransnet should set up a separate section for interest groups, by area.

Elegran Sun 09-Feb-20 12:25:21

Are you never curious about the people whose posts you find chime with your own thoughts, or those who you disagree with but seem interesting personalities?

I shall always be glad that I took the plunge and met up with some Gransnetters. They have become real live friends, and so have most of tthose who have joined us at subsequent meetings (some have not reappeared - their choice. I would never have set out to make friends online, but meeting people as interesting acquaintances paved the way for genuine friendships.

Anonymous exchanges with the persona that someone wishes to project are fine, but knowing the real, whole person is much more rewarding.

BlueBelle Sun 09-Feb-20 12:26:45

I always get an email when I get a private message
Thats a really ‘dry old stick’ comment quizqueen ? sending some one a supportive pm or answering a query that is best not aired on the main site is hardly intrusive but each to his own hopefully no one has sent you one then you won’t be annoyed