Can we solve the nation's parenting problems?

Have you had the discussion about what he is aiming for in the next 2yrs and 5yrs? Does he have any sort of plan or target and if he does, is he aware of what he needs to achieve academically and/or through experience? If he has some sort of focus he is more likely to be prepared to do the work. If not I agree with expatmaggie, he has to learn cause and effect through practical expereince even if it seems tough. My three girls went to uni age 18, 21 and 23, i.e. when they had a focus and were ready to put in the work.

I'm with you on this one, Expatmaggie. Sound advice! I had 4 children - 2 girls who both did the most they could - illustrations to essays, full pages, the works. One son did half a page if that's what was asked for, no more and no less. He needed 5 passes to get to do the course he wanted, and that's all he got, but he passed his college course with flying colours, doing greenkeeping and exactly what he wanted to do. 1 girl and 1 boy graduated from uni. 1 from college, and my other daughter went to Uni and did a couple of years but decided it wasn't for her. Very proud of them all, but at the end of the day they all got to do what they wanted in life, and have never been out of work, working as teenagers, Saturday jobs, vacation jobs, and now fully employed in interesting jobs. The exams and homework are a means to an end - they know their own level and no amount of nagging will produce anything more than they are prepared to give. Just support them all the way, be a shoulder to cry on in tough times, console and encourage them if they need to do resits, but praise well at the end - and not just the blessed A-stars! ALL passes count, and nobody every remembers what GCSE or A level grades you get! Just as long as they continue to get on to the next stage of their education/life. I suppose it is a different matter if they are deliberately bunking off school/college or have got into the wrong crowd, you probably need to be more forthright with your opinion - but will they listen at that point? Hey ho...!

I have to agree wholeheartedly with you baggy, finally. Giving homework to a six year old was ridiculous, children need to be playing after school. I disliked my teenagers having to come home from a day at school and then having to do homework and me having to nag my them to do it. They hardly did any if they could get away with it. I only asked of them to pass each year so they wouldn't have to repeat it again and they knew they had to complete high school. I would have agreed to them leaving earlier if they had gotten into a trade.

The eldest two went to uni at aged 19 and 21 after a few years of working and travelling and excelled, they both loved every minute of it. The youngest intends to do midwifery in the near future.

This is a very specific case we are commentig on. I would like to make a suggestion that we think of general discipline which should start from the beginning. Every child MUST learn that NO means NO. Even an infant can give your nipple a bite and a growl will tell them NO. The use of a 'grrh!' works well for minor trangressions. Lionesses and bitches use this to discipline their cubs/puppies. I had four children and they quickly learnt that when Mum said NO she meant it, and I had very little trouble as they grew up. Yes , they were allowed to manage their own homework and decide what effort to put into their schoolwork but they had good exaamples to follow for I and my husband worked hard to attain our targets for the family generally.

The lad is 'sports mad' so is active, fit and healthy, taking part in regular structured activity with like minded kids, and not falling in with the wrong crowd.
He is doing his allocated homework and keeping out of trouble at school.
Sounds to me like a fine lad who'll do well!
If he wishes to do sports at uni/ college then he should find out exactly what academic subjects he'll need to get in and and focus on these, with plenty of positive encouragement from home and no pressure, which with most teenagers is just counter-productive.
This boy is already focussed, motivated and doing well. Who could ask for more of a 15 year old?

My daughter -in-law had a similar problem and after lots of arguing sat down with her son and asked him whether he wanted her to back off and leave him to decide whether to study, get to class on time, prepare for exams etc - all of which she'd been nagging him about. She offered him the choice - either she would continue to help motivate him or would leave him to make the decision himself. He said he didn't want her to back off - but needed her to keep nagging! If you give your son the choice [time-limited maybe] - and then stick with whatever his choice is, he will have to dela with the consequences. But he has to stick with it too.

P.S. Many years ago my son did hardly any school work after 15. I nagged and pleaded. He didn't get very good results and didn't go on to university but is now a skilled, well paid, hard working man. Some kids are just late developers.

I was relieved that my teenage lad did that bare minimum - better than nothing. He scraped into university because he knew that we would give him no option there, and he scraped through a science degree, having encountered the joys of alcohol as a student.

He has done well in his dual careers as a training solutions designer, and as a Captain in the army reserves, so I guess that 'bare minimum' worked for him. He likes to work hard - now.

PS
The army sent him to East Timor and the base where he was stationed did not allow alcohol: I guess he got out of the habit because he drinks very little now.

Things have a habit of working out in the end.

You can't force the young man but howabout encouraging his sport. You could find out about the type of degrees that want sportsmen/women - like Loughborough, get some information about it. Then discuss the options with the young man by saying that some qualification is required for him to continue with a life in sport. Help him approach clubs in the sport of his choice to find out what they can need from him to make it his career. Then you can both make a plan for his future schooling. Academia isn't for everyone and he will resistant the more you nag. You haven't said if he has any idea of what he wants to do after he leaves school.

I think it depends on whether this is an 'attitude' thing or not.

Is the boy just wanting to do what he enjoys rather than applying himself ?
We would all like to please ourselves but in life we also have to be responsible. He is of an age where he should be made aware of his responsibilities.
Its all very well wanting to spend all his time on sports but not very realistic.
Perhaps a compromise / deal should be sought - He gets to do his sports on condition he makes more effort with other subjects.
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There is not enough info about this boy to know what the issue may be. I would discuss it with the school and work out if he is capable of getting good grades in other subjects - but is just being picky.