Help- my MIL doesn't trust me

Thanks Nfk. Frazzleddil can't win with arguments so it needs a change of tactic away from confrontational. Language is very powerful which is why a little word like 'maybe' is useful. It doesn't pin you down to anything but MIL can't argue against it because you haven't disagreed. If she tries to argue you can just look surprised say ' this suits us at the moment but maybe in the future..........' Tone is also useful and as long as you keep to neutral 'really' could mean anything at all. You can smile and nod without having to do any of it, or meaning that you agree.
My MIL was very sweet but her ideas didn't always fit mine. There was no need to say so and in the end she made it a virtue as in 'Leticia knows her own mind' all because of smile, nod and ignore!

frazzleddil - you've received some really good advice from a lot of MIL's who have experienced for themselves a variety of MIL's themselves. The overwhelming advice is to not rise to any jibe, not to take any of her remarks personally,she is not a happy woman (and probably never has been) it is not for you to make her a better person or a happier one - only she can do that. Wow - your OH is supporting you lucky you. You have a new baby on the way - look ahead, don't worry about her she will find a way to be a friend if you stop trying to be one. Good luck and enjoy your family.... You are not needy, the only thing you need is your OH's love and support - you have it!!

I wish you were my Dil frazzleddil you sound really lovely. I am in the exactly opposite situation in that my Dil basically doesn't like me.

I've tried everything and sometimes it's OK but mostly it's hard work.

Your mil should be so grateful and happy that you are such a kind person. If you were my Dil I would think I was a very lucky woman.

Don't let her upset you now you are expecting a baby. You sound like the adult in this relationship and I think it's time your Mil grew up.

Your OP talks about your MIL not trusting you. You do not need to have her trust you - that is her choice and you cannot change it. Stop trying!!!

When she is being difficult just think that the majority of women would love you as a DIL and it is her loss!
She has a problem. It is not your problem so don't let her put it onto you.

Agree with the comments about it being her problem. I am always surprised to hear how parents make negative comments to their son/daughter about their partners! Different if the partner is breaking the law/ being abusive etc but just because she wants you to do things 'her way' is truly out of order and none of her bloomin' business! Keep smiling!!

Rest assured that there isn't a woman alive who would have satisfied her. Her wanting "one last holiday" speaks volumes! You serem to be doing everything right, just be ready to stand your ground over the baby.