What is retirement really like?

It's true none of us know what's around the corner so carpe diem/seize the day and all that.
Yes "lonely" is so sad.
You do have to make an effort to do things. I forgot to say I'd found U3A-brilliant. There really is something for everyone. And a good church will provide support too.
Since retiring I work part time for our elder DD too who is self employed-it's easy peasy as it's a continuation of what I'd done for 30 years but it's now lovely doing it to support my DD. She and her DH work together from home, they are happy for me to walk round to them 10/15 mins and make me so welcome. While I observe what needs to be done I can pretty much come and go as I please-no more foul mouthed bullying bosses.

Retirement has meant substantial change in every area of my life. Much positive but some definitely unwanted. It seems to me that personal circumstances make such a difference. I am remembering a previous poster simply saying 'lonely'. Surely the range of experience will be as individual as we all are. Financial stringencies can trigger much worry whether we are retired or not. The difference being once retired there is little chance of improving income. For myself I now know I flourish if there is routine so I have created one. I know I need to continue to have a sense of achievement and value. I love the small freedoms retirement has brought, appreciate the increased choice over seemingly insignificant things. I value being able to give time to family. There is also worry, frustration, sleep impacted by constant pain, a need for continual adjustment of expectations. Overall I am contented, so what more can I ask?

Indeed, bookdreamer, different worlds, with my pensions I earn £4.50 over the amount needed to claim pension credit.

Also, bookdreamer, and probably just as pertinent, the importance of having good friends to share your activities with. Not all of us have close friends with whom to meet up for lunch etc. especially if we've recently moved house, or lost friends due to bereavement.

Retirement is a joy for some, but not all, I agree.

Not sure if there has ever been a look at GNs but sometimes I think they are a tad middle class so perhaps it doesn't give a true picture. I may be very wrong if course! Actually probably am as I am sure some will tell me with great relish.

whitewave made this comment earlier and it has stuck with me. The key to happy retirement is having enough money. Simple as that. Whether that is a copious amount or just enough to get by but reality is for some people it's out of their control.

This thread is full of people who love their retirement and that's how it should be.

It's just not the reality for everyone.

I had to retire because of illness. I loved my job (interpreting) and did not want to stop. However, six years on I'm very glad to be retired. I had a list of all the things I wanted to do (genealogy, gardening, quilting) and I am doing them. The best part, though, is being involved in my grandchildren's lives. If they were not here I don't think it would be as enjoyable. I know my daughter is glad I'm able to help her, too.

I did some volunteering for a while and that was good but now I find it too tiring.

The thing I missed most, at first, was doing a job for which I felt valued and especially meeting new people. Some days if I don't go out I don't see anyone until my husband comes home - he's still working - and that can feel lonely, even if I am keeping busy. It is great to have time just to go out and meet people for coffee or lunch, especially my daughter. It is also great to have days when I have no responsibiity to anyone at all and if I want to stay in pyjamas all day and read a book, I can!

I retired 5 years ago (age 60)from a senior job in a Local Authority, thus an excellent final salary pension .Plus I was able to claim state pension at 60 and 7 m .I was a little disconcerted to find DH wanted to retire 3m after me!He has deferred both his pensions until he is 65 but, rather to my surprise we have managed quite well living on mine alone,as he assured me we would, dipping into substantial savings for holidays (we've done a lot of long distance travel).We had our children late and stopped paying for Uni not long before retiring so it doesn't feel that different,though our income at present is about a third of what it was!It will go up considerably soon .We run only one car ,have had a water meter put in and DH has had time to shop around for savings on insurance etc .We thought our heating bills would go up a lot but they haven't
Having paid for their further education and having given them substantial amounts toward property purchase (inheritance) we have no compunction about 'spending our kids inheritance now '.
I think that is one of the keys though-having enough money to enjoy life. We have always been prudent and saved hard and put AVCs into pension .But obviously we were fortunate to be able to do that.And the other is having reasonable health .
One reason we retired relatively early-so we could do the travelling we always wanted while we were still fit.
My job was getting increasingly 'big' and stressful and I was glad to go though I used to enjoy it. I went back to work when DD2 was very young as DH was made redundant and I was the only/main bread dinner for 8 years.I worked pt for 3years ,ft for 15 ,while raising a family ,and it took its toll
I have no grandchildren as yet and am likely to be quite elderly when I do .The DDs do not live near us and ,while I have made it clear we will be available for emergencies, there is no way I will be doing regular childcare .I supported MIL to live at home for many years but she died 2 years ago having been in a residential home for 2years prior.DF DM and DFIL have been dead a long time,so we have no ties,though we continue to offer moral and emotional support to the DDs ,both of whom have been through stressful times in the last year or so .
We set the alarm for 8am instead of 6.15 ,drink tea in bed while listening to the Today programme but aim to be up and dressed by 9.I need structure to my day .
I volunteer,belong to two book clubs a choir and a French conversation class,a lot of Family History research and, despite dodgy knees ,do a fair but of walking .And am a keen gardener.I meet friends for coffee/lunch/cinema/theatre and often go down to stay with DD1 in London.My DH has one all consuming hobby which involves a lot of research. Basically I go out a lot .It works for us .We enjoy our holidays weekends away and concert trips
I am probably more content in retirement than I have been since my twenties .My thirties were lovely in some ways as I married and had my babies but my 40s and 50s were very stressful

I retired five months ago and I absolutely love it. I love that I dont have to get involved with the commute, I love being able to choose what I do and when I do it, the lack of stress is amazing and I am able to lead a more healthy lifestyle.

Every day there is something to do and its all things that I choose - walking group, U3A groups, gym, swimming, volunteering, gardening, researching my family history and learning with Future Learn (free courses on line). I have also been on two wonderful winter holidays, with more in the pipeline. The other day I went to a film at the cinema in the afternoon and it was great!

Not one single bit of me wishes I was back at work.

I think that now our parents live longer and our children have their children later, retirement fits neatly into the interstice when both grown-up children and parents need us most. Strangely, except for three months, my parents never needed any care or support but both DH and I had childless aunts and uncles who we became responsible for.

The first became ill six months before I retired and it was a nightmare, commuting up to London, getting home, racing straight to the hospital or driving 30 miles to make a home visit. I have been retired 20 years this year and for 18 of those years I have been responsible for the care for an elderly person. Not the intensive day by day care that many of you have had. Most of my family moved into care homes, but managing the crises that led to them going into care. managing their financial affairs, emptying and selling houses and regularly driving quite long distances to visit them.

When my caring work ended two years ago, I felt quite lightheaded. A responsibility I had had throughout my retirement had gone. I had to shape a new retirement without it.

auntybee You are living every parent's worst fear; the loss of a child. . None of us who have not been there can fully comprehend what you are going through .

Was beginning to feel I'm the only one for whom a leisurely retirement is a dream but I've just read a couple of posts from others in a similar position.

Early retirement initially was bliss: one year 'living the dream' abroad. GC 1 arrived so we returned home, not wishing to miss their early years.
Now, 5 years on we've joined the 'sandwich retirees' - supporting/caring for elderly/frail parent living with my elderly disabled sibling

on the one hand, and on the other supporting our terminally ill DD with 2 u-5s and her husband trying to work/keep their heads above water.
Now we (DH and myself) spend more time racing against the clock than ever: 6am (or earlier!) start to support SIL, breakfast/get kids ready, take to preschool, collect, make dinner for them, bathe kids before we go home 6-7pm only to start again with my own domestic routines. Weekends we just recuperate/prepare for next week (if no children's birthday parties to accompany the little ones to).
That's only one half of the 'sandwich'!
Visit mums at least once a week to do her jobs, then there's doctors/hospital runs for both mum n brother, not forgetting food and general shopping (thank goodness for Internet!) as well as general household maintenance, plus bill payments, etc. Every 2nd/3rd weekend we drive 25 miles to collect mum/brother to give them a weekend break at ours (!).
What I have realised is life maps don't always pan out as you envisaged so enjoy what you can, when you can.
And btw, I'm not wingeing; life hasn't turned out quite as I planned but I am surrounded by a wonderful family. I have a fantastic DH, 2 DDs and 3 gorgeous DGDs who bring such joy. DH and I are just as close, if not closer than ever. In our case retirement allows us time to spend with our loved ones. Thank goodness I'm retired.

I worked for one of the big banks until I was 56 and left because of all the targets. PPI has come back to bite them in the bum! I went to work for one of the customers until I was 64 and was very happy there.

I have now been called up for Jury Duty and am not looking forward to travelling in the rush hour and 'working full time'. I have had a dreadful winter with the awful coughing virus, ending up with two lots of anti-biotics. If I sit in the corner dribbling, they may send me home!

Well! I retired from f/t paid employment at 60 but set up a freelance consultancy to ease me into retirement. I have done that for 5 years, working approx 2/3 days a week but as I was 65 last weekend have decided to wind down the work, though I do enjoy it still.

I also do 2 x days of childcare and on those days take 2 of the 4 DGCs to school and then collect 3 to add to the one I have had during school time. From Sept the little one will be in school so more 'me' time during the day. Will still have the pre/post school care to do. It is a bit of a tie but I really value the time with the 4 of them.

I am also a school governor and that is taking up quite a bit of time and have just joined a local political party and I am an active member of my WI
so not lost for things to do!

I look forward to having a couple of days a week for swimming/ walking /gardening/reading/baking/sewing etc etc.

DH is slowly cutting down on his consultancy commitments too, often has the 2 days at home when we have the DGCs. I do enjoy days when I have the house to myself so not sure what I will feel like when we are both at home more often! We have quite a busy social life at the weekends so guess we will spread that out and maybe take in more films, exhibitions, theatre trips once we have got through all the recorded TV programmes/box sets we are always meaning to watch!

I retired at 60 - both my state pension and minute (very minute!) work pension started then.

OH is retired - he left his job at 42 for health reasons, then did part time work till he was 60.

Our mortgage is paid off, so this gives us freedom, and, in spite of having only small pensions, we feel quite well off, as are needs are small.

I work very hard, in spite of being retired - lots of voluntary roles in the village. But I can choose what I do.

We do lie in in the mornings and enjoy our cup of tea and breakfast in bed. It is wonderful not to feel constrained by early commitments.

I do get up early on two days a week which are committed to child care now that DD3 is back at work; but it does not stop us taking a break when we want to - DD made that quite clear when we took it on - that we must not let it rule our retirement. Her MIL is a teacher and takes over some of this care during school holidays when she is able.

OH has PD - so that is a salutary lesson: do not make too many detailed plans for retirement as health problems may descend to sabotage this. My health has been problematical too - so, if I could pass on any piece of advice it would be this: do not put your retirement off too long as you do not know what is round the corner. It is only when the pains of age hit that you realise how little you appreciated good health when you had it.

I retired 5 years ago and immediately became a carer for my mum who suffered from Alzheimer's. She passed away a couple of years ago and I would say it took me a year to physically and emotionally recover from the years I had been caring for her ( many years whilst still working as her condition deteriorated) This last year however we have acquired a labrador and moved to a small cottage in the country, We share a horse with eldest dgd and life is very full. Much as I love him being with dh all day every day can get trying and I have made sure to keep in touch and meet up with friends without him. Financially we are much less well off but economies are found so that we can keep going with our interests. Yes, on the whole retirement is great, like any other time of life it can have its ups and downs!

I was catapulted into retirement when I was made redundant, very suddenly and unexpectedly, at 59. Fortunately I have a small private pension, as I am one of the WASPI Women who will have to wait till I'm 66 for my state pension. My DH retired at 65 last year. Our income is about a third of what it was, but we can manage on it, with no mortgage to pay and far fewer outgoings (no constant spending on work clothes and transport to work, etc). Until I get my state pension, we're drawing on enough of our savings to enable us to carry on enjoying a good social life, trips away and so on. The funds won't last forever, but who knows what's round the corner? We may not be as healthy in years to come, so may as well enjoy it while we can.

If I hadn't had the GC, I'd have looked for another job, but as it is I can help out with childcare 2 or 3 full days a week and am so thankful that I'm able to do this. I feel I've built up much closer relationships with them than I would have done if I'd still been working full time. As for the rest, I love to have time to suit thyself, pursue those interests I never had time for, get a decent night's sleep, read a lot, meet up with friends for lunch or just for a cuppa and a chat. And yes, I do keep in regular touch with my ex colleagues. Some of them are very good friends. Do I miss work though? Not for one second!

Haven't read all the previous posts, so I apologise if I'm repeating what other have said.
I retired from my full time employment at 57 and started a part time job as a carer with age concern to fill my time. I have never had a problem filling my days, quite the reverse.
Now that we are both fully retired, we are busier than ever, never enough days in the week.
I'm not sure why, but financially we have more disposable income that we have ever had, despite eating out and socializing regularly.

The U3A has a lot to answer for, we belong the 3 separate groups and many interest groups within each.

I retired 10 years ago in my mid 50s but took up voluntary work which I found really rewarding as I was still doing something I loved. Grandkids have come along since and I was able to juggle both sets of commitments very easily. One of my voluntary jobs has now lead to paid employment (not a huge sum but welcome nonetheless) but I feel differently about the work now. Funny, isn't it? I think I enjoyed the freedom volunteering gave me while now I feel a 'wage slave' again.

I still have lots of time for my friends and my hobbies though, despite the demands of my job and the needs of my family. I think it is important to have 'me' time. We have earned it and it doesn't need to cost much to do things you like. I walk my dogs every day and meet lots of very interesting people. Stopping to chat is pleasant but I don't feel I have to hang around if the person is a bit boring (LOL)

I have a reasonable works pension and also my state pension so I am comfortably off. I have my health too, which is a bonus. I am one of the 'baby boomers' who 'had it all' - full employment, good standard of living, able to stay home when my kids were small, went to university late and embarked on a new career, am mortgage-free and fancy free too. What more could a woman ask for?

Seacliff I suspect there will not be many on basic state pension only because if that is your total income you can apply for Pension Credits to top it up. I suspect there will be many, who, like us, have some other income e.g. a small works or privately funded pension, which is just enough to equal and prevent you claiming Pension Credit, leaving folk to wonder why they bothered scrimping to put money aside.

Just wondering, are there any of you just getting the state pension, and managing to enjoy life?

My younger OH is not working (depression) and has years till he gets state pension, I still work part time, and get state pension, I dare not give up as we wouldn't manage financially.

Thank goodness we have paid off mortgage,

I have nothing but admiration for all of those retiring from paid employment to a new career as unpaid carers. It must be far more taxing than their previous employment.

Medically retired from the NHS and very thankful. Life is a struggle as I still have a large mortgage to pay. Once that is paid off my pension is more than adequate for me to live off. Pleasant surprise finding out how I could economise to financially manage. I host foreign language students and with prudent management of my finances mainly manage to cover all my bills. I look after my granddaughter 2-3 days a week which is a joy. On a bad day the bare minimum is done and that seems to be accepted. I pace myself for the busy periods. My health is cyclical and I just work within my limitations. Life is hugely improved since retirement as my stress levels have gone down. Stress because I was physically unable to meet the demands of my post.

I have a new partner who is very accepting of my limitations and our life is good. We have done alterations so I can be independent at home. This year phase 1 of the garden alterations are being done. I really miss being able to do my garden. Raised beds should mean i can grow some of our vegetables.

This year feels like there is light at the end of the tunnel for me. I'm aware of friends, family and colleagues who are struggling with their jobs as they feel they don't have the resources to meet the demands. Retirement is not an option as they can't access their work pensions and / or because the goal posts have been moved for their state pension. I feel incredible lucky and grateful.

DH and I say retirement is the best job we ever had. We are fortunate in that our mortgage was paid off a few years ago and we both have our state pensions and some oTher pensions, plenty for us. I am particularly cross about the number of women who are having to wait a long time for their state pensions-absolutely disgraceful. MPs do nothing about it-I suppose they're all right jack!
The only downside is we're not as healthy as we were, nothing serious, just creaks and groans which limit what we can do. It's like constant running repairs!
As others have said it's just lovely being able to get up at leisure. I was concerned I would have time on my hands but, as so many say, I don't know how we ever had time to go to work.
I do realise how blessed we are. We're not indifferent to the hardships others face and do all we can to help. This is our experience of retirement.

I took early retirement from full time job to help young DD who returned home pregnant after an abusive relationship. Still kept on my part time work with OU. I looked after DGS while DD went back to finish her degree. 2 years later diagnosed with BC and decided to retire from part time work to deal with treatment. I struggled to look after GS for another year and then DH decided to retire a little bit early to help me out. As he said, we didn't at the time know how long we might have together.

Luckily, DH's business was sold 3 years ago providing us with a decent amount of money which we have used to ensure all our children are on the property ladder and they and grandchildren will be financially secure. We both have our state pensions and some income left from investments so we are very lucky in that respect. No financial worries, unlike so many other people.

So what do we do? Childcare for 2 GSs (school runs, home works, taking and picking up from activities) Visiting and helping out with 4 other GCs in England. Caring for a very demanding young dog. Classes. Gardening. Housework. Meeting with friends from time to time. Reading. Social media (me more than him). Time never seems to be enough. And due to childcare responsibilities we have NOT ditched the watches.

Freedom is a bit limited. Lying in not really an option. Holidays....what are they? But we can organise our lives to suit ourselves. No commutes. No work stress and deadlines. So yes, apart from bits crumbling away, at 65 we both prefer retirement. I think it is made more precious BECAUSE of the ticking clock

Lara there does seem to be a very strong pattern emerging of essential childcare and voluntary work provided by our generation!

As we all say, I'm sure - I don't know how I ever had time to work - it's great!
Even my youngest son has retired and he feels exactly the same.
The weeks fly by which I wish they didn't - still so much to do - books to read, films to see, mustn't forget friends to see, the children still working but weekends I can do this.
Although I properly gave up work over 20 years ago - I still do the odd film or TV as an extra but can't really get up the same enthusiasm to get up at 4.30, train at 5.30 to be on set at 7.00 but that doesn't have to happen unless I want it.
All my grandchildren have left school and so no babysitting - free as a bird and happy!