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help! G.D. frightened of bath

(54 Posts)
Morgana Thu 11-May-17 10:03:07

2 year old granddaughter is refusing to get into bath or shower. It started after their bathroom was being refitted and they were a couple of weeks with no proper washing facilities. She is quite happy to help me water the garden! Any suggestions?

quizqueen Fri 12-May-17 11:04:13

Sorry, I have no patience for all this pussyfooting around. If she's had baths before with no problem since she was born then there is no reason why she shouldn't be having them now in a new bath. She's just trying it on. Who's in charge in that household -the parents or a two year old? My suggestion is - tell her who is the boss!!! She'll soon get over it. No wonder kids think they can behave as they please nowadays.

JanaNana Fri 12-May-17 11:05:19

Morgana. I notice you say it started after their bathroom was being re-fitted and am wondering if she was ok with this before.Two things here; perhaps having to improvise while this took place in her little mind was enjoyable. Maybe there is something about the new bathroom that to her is a bit scary. After all at 2 years old she is,nt old enough to understand . Not all small children like to feel water over their face as in a shower. Perhaps a very shallow bath , lots of colourful bath toys.Maybe taking her out buy a new bath toy and giving lots of encouragement. Introducing her in this way gradually may help.

Hopehope Fri 12-May-17 11:07:58

I think most little ones go through this. My DGD was afraid of going down plughole. Don't push it. Top and tail but let her play with toys. Bath her dolls etc. It will pass if you don't make an issue of it.

farmgran Fri 12-May-17 11:19:42

Its fun to play in a paddling pool in the garden on a fine day with warm water in it. A quick wizz round with a flannel maybe. I remember having baths in front of the fire in a tin bath at my granny's.

Nelliemaggs Fri 12-May-17 11:24:25

No way would I force a screaming two year old into a bath or shower as advocated above. Phobias are not naughtiness.

We put our refusenik two year old DGS into an old fashioned baby bath, placed in the big bath, where he agreed to stand. Weeks later we got him to sit in a few inches of water, not much room for more than him and a rubber duck. Hair washing required two of us. Now just turned three he has agreed that sitting in the big bath is more fun with more toys and he holds the flannel over his eyes himself for hair washing. He is immensely proud of himself to have overcome his fears.

Gently gently and soon, one way or another, bath time refusal will become a funny memory.

Auntieflo Fri 12-May-17 11:28:35

Quizqueen, how unkind. She's only 2, how would you like it if you had a phobia of, say, spiders, and were forced into a room with lots of them running around?

lilihu Fri 12-May-17 11:58:10

Quizqueen------"trying it on" ????? At two years old??
Flippin eck! A two year old could be given a phobia for life with the kind of treatment you're suggesting.

sluttygran Fri 12-May-17 12:01:18

I'm glad you're not my granny, quizqueen!
My DGD also went through this fear, so we put the baby bath in the big tub and she sat in that. She soon forgot her problems and asked for the big tub again. Pity really, 'cos it saved a lot of hot water!

Jalima1108 Fri 12-May-17 12:03:49

quizqueen if this was an incalcitrant pre-teen boy I would say 'yes' but this is a toddler who may need to be cajoled - I would use a bit of psychology and use the throwing the toys in and bathing dolly methods.

Your method could put her off water for life and that would be disastrous when she needs to learn to swim.

JackieBee1 Fri 12-May-17 12:05:14

Ignore quiz queen - cruel!

My daughter (now 32) went through this phase. We put her swimming cozzie on and told her she was going swimming - worked a treat. I've got a picture of it somewhere...

Jalima1108 Fri 12-May-17 12:07:26

One of my DGD liked 'swimming' in the bath.
Great fun and the bathroom and anyone nearby got drenched too!

Lottielootron Fri 12-May-17 12:19:12

Our bath on a Sunday night was in the kitchen sink, with soap and flannel, didn't need to sit in it, also used to love tramping the blankets in warm soapy water when they were washed, probably only once a year!

Nelliemoser Fri 12-May-17 12:19:26

Quizqueen that is really harsh. Small children do not understand the world and quite sensibly avoid what frightens them.

A paddling pool or a washing up bowl in the garden and a few toys just to play pouring with. Another small child might encourage her as well.

One summer when my 2/3 yr old daughter was in the garden, the fly past planes for the trooping the colour roared over our house for practice run. The jets and Vulcan Bomber. She was terrified and did not want to go into the garden again for a couple of weeks. When she did it was with her blanket over her head.
This little child who doesn't like the bath just needs to be gently reasurred.

Jalima1108 Fri 12-May-17 12:42:02

Nelliemoser there used to be jets flying over Dartmoor, practising their low flying, terrified 18 month old DN who would not go out into the garden for the rest of the summer.
I have been 'buzzed' by a Lancaster when I was driving, very scary as I thought something was wrong with the car until I saw the plane as it went over at about tree height.

BRedhead59 Fri 12-May-17 13:09:35

"Dolly is rather grubby I think she needs a bath would you like to bath her/him/them"?
"Would you like to play with dolly in the bath"?
etc

Willow500 Fri 12-May-17 13:19:50

Has the size of the bath changed? It could be she just feels a bit overwhelmed by the newness of it all. I agree best just to leave her until she's ready and use water to play and have fun with for the interim. I used to wash by kids on the draining board too as my mum had done with me - they loved getting their feet in the bowl and kicking water all over! My granddaughter had an accident in the shower when she was 14 - the glass door shattered when she was in it and cut her hand very badly which required stitching - she was lucky that was all - it could have severed an artery or gone in her eyes! She refused to use the shower for ages after that - she's 19 now and of course does nothing but shower!

wildswan16 Fri 12-May-17 13:20:36

Out of interest - have you tried having a bath or shower somewhere else? Maybe at a play friend's house along with the friend, or a relative's home. Is she still scared or is it just her particular bathroom. It would be helpful to know if it is the actual "room" or the process of bathing.

Pamish Fri 12-May-17 13:38:24

Instructions for a stand-up wash: Wash your face and then down as far as possible. wash your feet and up as far as possible. Then wash possible.
.

HurdyGurdy Fri 12-May-17 13:56:52

i wonder if maybe you start her small and then work up to the bath. What about letting her sit (in the bathroom if she will, or another room if it's the bathroom that's scaring her) with her feet in a washing up bowl of warm water and give her flannel wash with the water, then slowly build up - next step, the garden plastic bin sized thing, as mentioned further up the thread, but still just letting her stand in it, or sit with her feet in it. Just gradually build her up to accepting being in a large space with water. I have also seen people putting a washing basket inside the bath. The water can get to her, but she's in a smaller space, which may give her confidence.

Dolly needing a bath/shower is also a good suggestion.

Whatever it is that has spooked her, I think the suggestion further up of forcing her into the bath is horrific. You can't cure a fear by making her more frightened.

blueskies Fri 12-May-17 15:07:14

Just a thought. Has any "strange" adult been around while she was bathing? Difficult but you must consider it.

joannewton46 Fri 12-May-17 15:40:19

Try "watering" her in the garden - make it a game. Then continue inside when it's not warm enough to go outside.
Otherwise a sponge down does just as well.

Aepgirl Fri 12-May-17 17:15:29

My grandson, who is now a bit of a waterbaby, went through a phase of not wanting to get into the bath. I solved the problem by putting a towel on the bottom of the bath with water, and then he was quite happy to sit down.

Morgana Fri 12-May-17 21:37:47

Thank you all. We don't know why she is suddenly so frightened of the water. Won't even go in the baby bath. New baby has just arrived (after phobia developed) so I am hopeful she might be tempted into bath with baby. We will certainly try your other suggestions. Thank you.

Cleverblonde Fri 12-May-17 23:02:58

Exactly the same happened with my daughter at about 18months. It is quite normal. Definitely dont force it I agree, just give her a flannel wash, hair washing can be a bit traumatic for a while unfortunately. This will eventually pass. Oddly, as Soon as my daughter started going to swimming lessons she started to enjoy the bath again and i was dreading the first lesson after her making a huge fuss about the bath!

Cleverblonde Fri 12-May-17 23:13:30

Sorry, I meant to say I remember this article being reassuring and helpful at the time
www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-sudden-fear-of-baths