Really upset about this

I would have challenged them straight away. When my brother, who was an alcoholic, collapsed at home one day I had to get an ambulance to take him to hospital. Everyone was so good to him, and one doctor especially came to talk to me, and explained that being alcoholic was an illness. Then when my brother woke up, he tried to get out of bed to go to the toilet, and a male nurse came to him, shouted at him to get back to bed, and went off supposedly to get a bottle . He didn't come back, so I went to look for him, to find him chatting to the nurses around the nursing station, just in time to hear him say 'I can't be bothered by people like him, '

Complain, complain, complain. This is appalling and must be stopped. Write to the CEO of the Trust, your MP and your local councillor plus anyone else you might know in the NHS.

Don't get upset from overhearing this sort of 'graveyard humour'. Doctors spend their days doing painful things to people, who sometimes die. They need their coping mechanisms too.

Sorry, pressed the post button by mistake.
You should have seen the expression on his face when I tapped him on the arm. I asked where the bottle was, and then told him I was reporting him for his attitude. He scurried away, and one of the nurses smiled at me and said 'Good for you, it's about time he was reported.' So I presume he was like that with other patients.
By the way, the reason my brother had collapsed was because he had cancer of the oesophagus which was discovered while he was in hospital. He had not been able to swallow food properly for weeks, but I didn't know.

I would make myself available at the next ward round and when they are all in the corridor away from your Husband, I would make it known what you heard and see what is said and give you the opportunity to clear the air. You most definitely deserve more respect than this and I dare say the comments may be have been made by junior doctors/medical students who whilst qualified have a long way to go in learning how to show respect. As both a former Nurse and a long term patient I have sadly seen a lot of this x

Another backup is to contact your GP. He has ultimate responsibility for you from cradle to grave, and I suspect would actually be listened to if he complained on your behalf. PALS is pot luck, some are really good, others, like our local one, absolutely useless. GP and hospital Chief Exec would be my route! Good luck I feel for you both, horrible situation when you can't see an end to it

Boils occur in long hospital stays (especially on the backside) through bad management. Does he have a vibrating mattress to help with circulation? If not, why not?

PALS are good for minor and major things. We had to make an appointment for my husband to have a check up because he had had bowel cancer. The hospital moved in the time between the letter being sent out and us ringing to book. We had the old number. We didn't know what to do so rang PALs, explained our predicament and they actually got the consultants secretary to phone us to make the appointment. She apologised profusely for the mistake wtih the number and gave us her number to phone if we needed to change the appointment.

No advice, just (((hugs)))

I can understand how tired and frustrated you feel and I agree with everyone that it would be good to have an advocate like PALS at your side. I complained once to a ward sister the way my mum was being treated. She was in her late seventies and had a broken pelvis. They insisted she use her elbows to push herself up on the bed. She did this many times while it caused great pain and resulted in the skin on her elbows coming off and them bleeding. I asked for her to have dressings or pads on them and two days later it was still not done. When I complained I was told my mum was an awkward patient, would not try to walk,move herself on bed (with bleeding elbows) etc... I told her I didn't believe her as mum had told me a different story, in fact the reason she broke her pelvis was she was in hospital and told she could manage to toilet on her own and they wouldn't help her, this resulted in her falling and lying on toilet floor until a patient rang for a nurse. Anyway the sister asked me if I was calling her a liar. I said well my mum hasn't like to me in fifty years so what do you think? There's bad apples in every professional, you need to get those doctors sorted out! Hope your husband gets home soon he's better off in your care.

Nanabilly - you took the words right out of my mouth. This post made me SO angry for the poor man lying in bed in pain or discomfort and doctors (doctors!!!!) laughing about not wanting to treat it because of its location.

I WOULD have marched up and totally lambasted them for it - and I am not one for confrontation, but oh my days, that really angered me

Serkeen - I hope your husband has now been discharged (minus boil) and that he is recovering at home with you.

But I would DEFINITELY make a restrospective complaint to PALS, as has been suggested already.

TBH I had a less helpful experience of PALS. I wanted to talk with them about how and why a fracture in my foot came to be overlooked with the result that I still need to use a stick outdoors after 3 years and I am always in pain. These outcomes are a direct result of the oversight.

I said to PALS that my OH and I had spent our lives working for the NHS and were aware that people are only human and can make mistakes, so I did not want to make a formal complaint; but they said they could do nothing unless I did. All I wanted was to try and make the point that the reason the problem arose was because several doctors ignored and dismissed what I was saying to them: e.g. "My foot is still very painful and I cannot walk on it" elicited the response "It is just uncomfortable where the plaster has been." When I said that this was not the case - I have had several fractures in my life and know what it feels like, it was dismissed. Several weeks later (still unable to walk) I initiated a private consultation at which the proper diagnosis was made - too late to do anything about it, other than surgery was admitted to be risky and with dubious outcomes.

I just wanted to get across the message: Listen to the patient. But I was not allowed to do that. Short of making a complaint about PALS I was a bit stuck!!

So, as has been suggested, email the CEO. I am sorry you are facing this extra challenge when your OH is so unwell.

Exalted wombat yes doctors need their coping mechanisms but they shouldn't indulge themselves about individual patients within earshot of them and their relatives.
Unprofessional and distressing.

There is a definite tendency to treat evryone over 65 as old and dement or senile or deaf even if most aren't. I'm 80 and went to the hospital to have my sprained ankle Xrayed. They shouted at me to move my leg into different positions and then shouted at me as I returned to the cubicle to put on my jeans. That stopped me in my tracks and I turned round and with my authoritive teacher's voice told them to stop shouting! That I was not deaf and that having a sprained ankle meant that I was slow and needed time to get dressed again.
They both looked at me absolutely surprised that anyone should dare to tell them off.

PALS, PALS, PALS...get this sorted. It is not right that you and your husband are being treated like this. Let them see how truly upset you are, politely, which is what you have done in this post. Hope all goes well for you.

I agree with Paddyann. You want it on someone's file, some misplaced black humour? They saved your husband, who clearly was very ill if he was in hospital that long. How many heart specialists do we have in NHS, that we can waste some?

You have to fight now to get what you want. Our N.H.S. is being reduced staff overworked many underpaid.

Dear Serkeen, I'm so sorry you're both going through such a horrid time.

My heart really goes out to you.

I've had to become an advocate for my father and mother on different occasions when they were in hospital, and I always found it difficult to know when to insist the staff listen to me. In fact I was told repeatedly that they were not obliged to talk to me about my parents respective illnesses as it was a breach of confidentiality!

The only way I finally managed to get some help from the nurses when my mother was in hospital, was when she started pulling her drips out in order to go home.

I suggested if they informed me of the different aspects of her treatment and illness I might be able to help them keep her comfortable and in hospital, as she was determined to get out by hook or by crook!

I heard staff talking about me and how I was 'one of the difficult ones' and more!

It was a very stressful time, and the worry can make you dither and mistrust your own judgement cant it?!

I don't want to sound biased as we did find some dedicated professional and caring people in the NHS,
but when it goes wrong the results can be catastrophic.

From what I've read most people with more knowledge than I, have given you some brilliant advice, I'm glad to say.

I hope it helps.

Please let us know how you get on soon!

Sending you both best wishes

Go to the top and complain VERY loudly. It's disgraceful that staff didn't want to deal with the boil, that's what they are there for after all. I would also ask why you keep getting contradictory information. My experience is that the more noise you make, the more likely you are to get action whether information or treatment. Good luck, we're rooting for you!!

Thank you. I am today going to be at the hospital when the Doctors do their rounds.

I will as advised ask relevant questions, what's the plan, when will my husband be discharged.

I will then if not happy, email the CEO as I think that was really good advice.

I can not thank you enough. Your help means so much right now.

Good luck serkeen we're all behind you. Let us know how it goes.

The issue with the boil is distressing but not life threatening while the 'bug' situation might be, especially if the medics are not saying what it is. My DH had an operation a few years ago and, afterwards, contracted a nameless 'bug' which we later found was MRSA. This infection threatened his life and he had six months' worth of intravenous treatement in and out of hospital before it was brought under control. The first step to recovery was being fully informed about what he had contracted and how it was going to be treated. I should insist on being fully informed about your H's condition and make a formal complaint about the way the boil was made a subject of derision instead of compassion.

Unforgivable infantile behaviour by alledged 'professionals'.

And for goodness sake - they've surely come across much, much worse conditions than a mere boil on someone's bottom.

But, you know what they say - what goes around comes around......they'll get their comeuppance I expect.

Spoke to the Doctor that came around today and I asked what's the plan. He said that they are battling the fluids that my husband has due to the heart operation.

Doc says once the fluids are controlled they will then check his heart to ensure its fine.

He would not and I presume could not commit to a discharge plan as yet

But still all a bit hazy, its not what they are saying, more they way in which they are saying it, in terms of discharge, we have been told Thursday for sure for discharge and now today, although nothing has changed medically, Thursday is a maybe, the whole thing is driving me quite crazy and our stress levels are at an all time high!

Thank you for your support, its priceless to me right now.

So frustrating for you. I remember being furious when MiLs consultants reassured us that she would only be discharged after careful planning and discussion with us then, with no warning, just discharged her. They'd given up on her treatment and just seemed to want rid of her. I expect there was pressure for beds but he shouldn't have made promises that he must have known couldn't be kept. MiL was very distressed and saw herself as chucked out.