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Best way to help a new Mum & Dad

(40 Posts)
Millbrook Thu 26-Apr-18 14:28:22

Daughter and son in law are home from hospital with their beautiful new son (my grandson).

I’m being careful to strike a balance between being there to help in the first few weeks when everything is wonderful but strange, but also giving them space to be a family together.

They have lots of family and friends so baby stuff (new and borrowed) is not an issue.

What I’m wondering is what are the ‘small’ , unexpected, things that mothers (& fathers) really appreciated you doing or buying, immediately after the birth of their first baby?

granjen19 Sun 29-Apr-18 22:09:11

Absolutely agree with all the above suggestions. With the first baby I put them in the pram and took them for a good long walk leaving mum time to either take a long peaceful bath or a sleep. Luckily the movement of the pram soothed the baby as well.

Millbrook Sun 29-Apr-18 19:33:46

gummybear - pretty certain my DD is going to love your suggestion, thank you!

Witzend Sun 29-Apr-18 10:03:48

Shopping, cooking, taking lunch/dinner with you when you visit, sticking the washing in the machine, hanging it up, washing up, mopping the kitchen floor, vacuuming, making cups of tea, fetching whatever from upstairs, basically anything a dd would be doing if she wasn't holding/feeding new baby and feeling sore because of stitches.

Of course I'm talking a dd here, rather than a DiL (though it may be equally all right) and only when you know for certain that whatever you do will be welcomed, and not seen as interfering/instrusive and likely to result in one of those I-hate-my-MiL posts on Mumsnet.

gummybears Sun 29-Apr-18 09:54:15

My best friend brought me a camembert. It was one of the best presents I have ever been given

f77ms Sat 28-Apr-18 04:55:58

I stayed the night in the babies room one night a week while they had a decent sleep . My DIL said that it kept her going for the other six nights ! I echo what others have said about meals , I know I would have loved someone to do that for me but in those days you just got on with it on your own unfortunately .

MagicWand Sat 28-Apr-18 02:12:19

Amongst things I've given to the last 2 new mummies I know, my DIL & my god daughter, has been a five year 'Line a Day' diary. I have been surprised by their reactions as they have both been especially pleased with these.

Millbrook Fri 27-Apr-18 22:28:50

Such great ideas here.....thanks so much everyone!

Lynnebo Fri 27-Apr-18 20:57:21

Nappies!!! It’s never ending and they are not cheap!! Often overlooked gift wise - but so appreciated! x

Cleverblonde Fri 27-Apr-18 20:40:34

When my friend brought round dinner that could just be popped in the oven I nearly cried! In a happy way ?

SueDoku Fri 27-Apr-18 20:24:39

If your DD is breastfeeding, a tube of Lansinoh HPA Lanolin Cream will be really, really appreciated. I got some for my DD when she had DGC1, and she put in a special request when. DGC2 appeared last year smile

lesley4357 Fri 27-Apr-18 17:20:45

I made my daughter a hamper of all the food she couldn't eat whilst pregnant ... soft cheeses, pate, wine etc + indulgent things like chocolate, strawberries, smoked salmon. She loved it

Glitterknitbaby Fri 27-Apr-18 17:02:05

When the second baby arrived for my son and his partner I went to visit one afternoon, at tea time I got my son to take me to get take away fish and chips all round, no clearing up and much appreciated.

David1968 Fri 27-Apr-18 16:13:44

We stayed for weeks with DS & family when DGD arrived. (They live overseas.) We cooked, cleaned, shopped, did laundry, and cared for DGD (aged 2), taking her to local parks every day and having fun. Also a lot of holding/changing DGS - when asked to! (We saw him as his mum's perogative.) Being there as a support was our priority. I think we helped - and years latet we're still speaking!

Coconut Fri 27-Apr-18 16:04:14

I always took loads of groceries with treats plus essentials, then did the ironing, took washing away etc Basically anything I saw that needed doing. Any help is appreciated and just letting them know if you can do anything at all, just to ask ?.... enjoy !

Sheilasue Fri 27-Apr-18 13:09:00

Food I think maybe cook a few things, my sil did this for her d some ironing and general tidying up plus ordered some food on line for her d and Sil.

newnanny Fri 27-Apr-18 13:04:29

You could also order them a nice food shop online to be delivered to their door and including a few treats they might not buy themselves. I feel really bad because I will be on holiday when my dd gives birth to second gs in the summer and she only told us after we had booked travel fairs, but I will definitely be ordering them a large food shop with plenty of fresh fruit for the first 2 weeks until I get back. My sil is having 2 weeks off work as paternity leave but then I shall go for a week to stay with her and help out by cooking, cleaning and taking older gs out so she can have peace to sleep in day when baby does.

newnanny Fri 27-Apr-18 12:57:28

Congratulations on your new gc. I also made up a large box full of toiletries for baby and a supply of nappies to save them having to go out to buy them. I also included things like baby nail scissors, fever scanner for forehead, hair brush and gripe water. My dd is pregnant again and I have already started buying a few toiletries each week with the shopping. Last time my dd told me they lasted the whole of the first year. She cried a bit when I gave her about 8 large freezer meals as she was relieved and tired.

newnanny Fri 27-Apr-18 12:51:50

I agree with anniefrance cooking a few nice homemade meals such as lasagne, shepards pie or casterole and offering to go around and clean up especially as they will no doubt have lots of visitors and she will be too tires to do too much herself and ironing, clanging beds would be such a help and I am sure much appreciate.

Patticake123 Fri 27-Apr-18 12:27:46

Ready prepared food and the offer to babysit downstairs whilst Mum goes upstairs for a sleep!

seemercloud Fri 27-Apr-18 11:42:33

I organised a supply of 'healthy' snack boxes to be delivered fortnightly. Useful when pushed for time and for 'Dad' to put in his lunch box. Well liked, I think.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 27-Apr-18 10:44:51

I bought some Bio Oil for the new mum to help with the stretch marks. She loved it as it was something she wouldn’t buy herself because of the cost.

Marianne1953 Fri 27-Apr-18 10:18:42

I did the ironing. Later on, I did some nights as well, my daughter was most grateful for that as she likes her sleep

annifrance Fri 27-Apr-18 10:03:02

Cooking,cleaning and laundry.

Shazmo24 Fri 27-Apr-18 09:46:07

Meals! Finding time to cook a decent meal when you have a new baby is hard. So what I do is make up several meals and freeze them - along with the sides. It's the best thing ever and they are so happy

MawBroon Fri 27-Apr-18 00:21:01

Friends bought DD and SIL £100 voucher for meals for 2 from Cook which although “prepared meals” really taste homemade and are healthy portions of “real” ingredients. I recommend them and DD who is very fussy and normally makes everything from scratch with organic ingredients said it was one of the best presents she had!