Behaviour of dgd

Just one DC or more?

That makes all the difference.

There's nothing wrong with taking a kid on a "cottage holiday"!! It's what we've done with our ds from the start. Lots of beach time mostly - playing with both of us and a quiet evening with a normalish routine for bedtime.

Bunny ears are fine Marilii!

And yes, accentuate the positive
negative behaviour is attention seeking - why is she seeking attention?
Because she needs some attention and to do some fun activities.

I expect she has cheered up by now ethel, if they are doing the planned child-friendly activities.
I am smiling at the thought of your mum and dgd (perhaps they are kindred spirits )

Nobody speaks for me. I need no mouthpiece informing others of my feelings/views.

I feel bad about some posters arguing
Don’t worry about me ethel and I’m sure gabriella isn’t bovvered either
I’m glad your DGD has been better and I’m sure she’ll be looking forward to seeing you too

I feel bad about some posters arguing. However some years ago when i joined i used to wind people up for the hell of it. I cringe now. I have learned to listen and respect others along with a dose of cancer that changed my attitude. Sometimes i want to disagree with other posters but i now try to do it tactfully. Btw dgd has not been too bad in the last couple of days and im looking forward to seeing her and dd again but im keeping your comments to mind. An interesting point is that my grumpy old mother becomes sunshine and light with dgd and they play together quite happily

Hi Ms. Ethel. It sounds as if you have tried everything else. How about a swat on the butt and refusing to coddle her when she acts up? Somehow I don't think her parents will like that, so, instead, how about rewarding the good behaviour but don't reward the bad behaviour. It sounds as if she seems to get more attention and rewards from everybody by acting up rather than from listening to the adults in her life. Accentuate the positive behaviour with praise and hugs and smiles every time you possibly can. For instance, you might say something like, "You have been such a joy to have around this morning, helping me/or doing such and such/....... Let's go have a treat, or let's read that book you love, or let's bake cookies, or let's go for a walk or let's go do something you like to do... just the two of us." As long as they are not unduly tired or stressed out, most children will initially choose to listen if they feel there's something in it for them. (human nature). Eventually they get use to listening and it becomes part of their behaviour. Just my thoughts. (\/). Ooops. That was suppose to be a heart. Looks like bunny ears. Lol.

There are children .... and children. Some love nature and country walks, others find them interminably boring!!

When my son was quite young he seemed very difficult - compared to other youngsters. He had a very short attention span and loads of energy. So some of his actions were quite naughty - or not what I and other adults wanted.

Farm holidays were reasonably interesting for him - sitting on tractors, seeing wildlife etc. but he really wanted to watch TV.

We came to a sort of compromise. But in retrospect, a holiday park would have been better. It might have been that I couldn't afford it then. I know he enjoyed visits to local parks and summer holiday activities.

I did have a partner who was upset by noise and having the telly on in the evenings on holiday, but I now think that if you take a child on holiday you need to make sure they are happy and entertained. Needless to say my son, in his 40s, is not now glued to the TV every evening!! And playing computer games later secured a very lucrative job in the industry!!

Holidays are magical times for children and now I love to join in activities (often too old to do them ).

All the evidence is that ignoring bad behaviour and praising good behaviour is productive. Also, I like the idea of the child producing a plan for the next day's outings. Sometimes we had to admit that they didn't work out, but they often did.

We weren't allowed to be bored and fractious on our family holidays!
We were told, and appreciated, that it was our parents holiday too.

How amusing on a post about childrens behaviour some of the posters are squabbling .

It might be a good idea to avoid reading my comments as they seem to fall short of your moderation standards
I usually do?

janeainsworth
I unreservedly apologise to you, for upsetting you with my reply to another poster, and to the OP concerned.
We none of us know each other despite some GNers organising meetups, therefore there is always the risk of upsetting someone depending on their mood of the day.
I can't, in truth, apologise for the content of my original reply to hp as the same tarring goes on re bankers, estate agents, polititians, lawyers and many others.
It might be a good idea to avoid reading my comments as they seem to fall short of your moderation standards.
I hope this draws a line under the matter.

Naughty behaviour is usually attention-seeking - if she has lots of positive attention then I hope things improve for your family ethel

Im so glad ive got gnet to talk to. Thank you x

My DS and DIL always enjoyed luxurious, calm holidays before they had children and they tried once, just once, to have the same kind of holiday with them. It was a disaster! Bored, fractious children wore everyone down. Now they go on holidays sites where it's more child centric. The children are entertained most of the day in activities, swimming, discos etc and are ready for their beds by 8 o'clock, leaving the evenings free for a film and glass of wine or two for the parents. It won't be forever, but young parents have to adapt when they have children.

Actually, I thought that hatpev's suggestion of getting the child to draw a series of post-its of what they're going to do was quite a good one - she will get some undivided attention from one of the adults whilst they chat about what they are going to do the next day and she can be busy drawing the pictures.

I agree with Bluebelle. Keeping her occupied and busy will keep her calmer and even give her a sense of satisfaction. Children love a wee project and usually respond well.

My concern was that as hatpev was probably a new poster, you might have scared her off, gabriella. That might be why she hasn’t returned to the thread.
It’s not always easy to see how one’s comments might be viewed by others, and particularly by the person they’re aimed at.

janeainsworth
Touché
I don't sugar-coat my thoughts. The poster made no comment to me but you objected. Lol.

Eglantine21
A lawyer (LL.M Eur)
Father was a headmaster. I understand organisation but it doesn't work for everyone.

She sounds like a bright cookie - she's running rings round all of you!

Who are you to tell another poster to ignore what I wrote...eh? My view is just as valid and is just that, my view
I can post what I like on these forums gabriella as I’m a member of Gransnet just like you, as long as I observe forum etiquette.
Of course you can say what you like too, but it’s a pity you often have to express yourself so abrasively and that you feel you can dismiss the entire teaching profession with a sweeping generalisation and your barbed comments.
I haven’t seen hatpev on here before o if you’re a new poster hp welcome to Gransnet.

Guilty as charged GG! I love organising stuff.

Can I ask what you did for a living?

Shopping with a child is inevitable sometimes - can they not get her involved in choosing items, involve her instead of always expecting her to be good and behave.

Constantly being told off and trying to make her conform, walk nicely next to you isn't going to happen if she's bored - children need to be interested and engaged even if the activity is boring, like shopping.