Redundant gran

School pick up for 1 GC only when visiting and GCs parents away on holiday or at work. Live so far away need to make it a fairly long visit to make it worthwhile. Other GC also lives a distance but do undertake weekends and a bit of school holiday care. Not all devote time on a daily basis but can appreciate you will have a gap to fill. Will take time but sure you will eventually enjoy not having the daily commitment.

You OK hun?

If you're feeling redundant - no matter what the reason - and you want another job as a grandparent, there are agencies that pair older people with families who need after-school care for their kids etc. Nice part-time work and you have the pleasure of being with children again. There is also respite care work but of course you have to go through fostering training for that.

The OP needs to tell us more so we can tailor our comments to the situation.

Agree GabriellaG54. I was going to post a positive comment but then realized it might not be appropriate until we know more of what has happened.

I think anyone who is still alive when their grandchildren get to an age when they can come home from school on their own/make their own dinner/stay on their own ......is incredibly lucky.

Oh Jacksgran I feel for you.
My 3 older GC don't need me anymore TBH but still like to come over for Gransma's cooking sometimes.
I do still have 3 smaller ones but they grow up so quickly.
Now is YOUR time though. Look around the area & see what you can do just for you -do you like rambling,lunch clubs,WI, theatre trips? there is so much on offer for the older generation these days & it doesn't have to cost the earth either.
There may come a time when you are too busy to see them rather than the other way round.
Please tell us the circumstances. There is bound to be someone on the site who has experience of it whatever it is.
Sending hugs.

Moomoo that is so sad. Perhaps your sister couldn't cope with children. But it does seem odd not to offer anything although we shouldn't judge. I hope the poor dad gets sorted.

We used to look after our granddaughter and see her a lot. When she passed her driving test she used to pop in her car and come over here.She's at university now, and we miss her but that's the way it goes. We keep in touch and see her each time she comes home.

at university

Never say never. My mum in her 80s began holidaying with me my DS and his DS. She loved it. We had a week away every summer until she died aged 95. My GD who is 6 still talks about her "Nanna" and how much she misses her. We have lovely photos of her on the sette with her 2 youngest GGCs. So holidays may come back and you may find yourself one day with a GGC. Meantime build a life of your own and congratulate yourself on helping your GCs grow up.

Feel blessed that you are alive and can now do all sorts of things for yourself. My DD s MiL did masses of childminding for all her grandchildren.

At this time last year she said to.me that come September she was looking forward to seeing her friends and getting back to painting. She died in August.Bank Holiday aged 69.
s

I have only ever been on holiday with my daughter and her daughter once, to Cyprus. I've never been on holiday with my son and his children. They are a lot more active than I am as I am asthmatic and have bad knees and they are always running or kayaking or cycling. We all get on well and I am lucky to see my son sometimes, but all the others are at uni or working now. Gransnet occupies at least an hour a day, sometimes longer, but I read a lot and study Spanish and of course I am always writing. I go on holiday alone and always enjoy them as they are escorted so I don't need to plan or anything. I see all my family at Christmas. Life goes on, just keep busy.

Let this be a lesson to us all to keep a few other interests going.

Good to see I'm not alone. I filled the gap with a wee dog and believe me it works... its good for both of us with the walks and you meet and chat with other dog owners.

Absolutely Buffy this is what happens when you give up your own life for your children. Don't want to sound bitter but here we are now twiddling our thumbs.

You are lucky to have grandchildren, my daughter never wanted children and son not bothered. Just the three of us now and daughter 150 miles away so I visit her because she has horses, dog, cats to care for and widowed a year ago, too young for that. Life is cruel. Count your blessings.

Noticed this trend many times when reading Forum posts....so many readers give themselves, their life and all their energies to looking after their grandchildren - and loose themselves in the process! No wonder they feel so desolate when they are “not needed” any more! There are so many ways to be a caring grandmother - and staying alive tips the list!

Re-read Annifrance’s post above......and take heed!

I have 2 AC and each has one child. My daughter was a single mum and couldn’t cope so I took over the care of my GD as a baby and she has lived with just me for all her 15 years. My daughter lived elsewhere in the same town until 3 years ago. Last summer I was diagnosed with Lymphoma (blood cancer) and whilst in hospital for 3 weeks my GD went to stay “temporarily” with my DD now living 700 miles from me. My GD came home for a few weeks at Christmas but then decided she wanted to live with her mum permanently, so abandoned her GCSE courses half way through, all her friends etc and went north at the beginning of January. I thought (hoped) she would return, but she appears to have settled with her mum and I have felt incredibly lonely and abandoned for the last two month.

Last week, my son who lives about 60 miles away, announced he and his wife plus my lovely 5 year old GS are about to move with his job to Holland! So from spending several lovely days at Christmas with both GC and my son and DiL I will suddenly have no family nearby. Life just won’t be the same. I don’t even have a passport and am not a great traveller. Even travelling the 60 miles to see my son isn’t easy as I don’t drive that far and my partner doesn’t understand my fear of fast traffic! I’m not sure how I’m going to cope.

I have several friends also in their 60s and we meet for coffee and cinema trips, but I’m really going to miss my little GS as I planned to see loads more of him now my GD is no longer here! I used to teach and love children of this age, so their move is definitely going to hurt.

Jacksgran’s sad post is the end result of what appears to be a nation of middle age women who sign up unconditionally to ‘the religion of granism’.

There is a website called adopt a grandma. I guess that is for children who otherwise would miss out on the fun of spending time with a nanna

No idea of your circumstances but some of us will never get the opportunity to do all those things, count the blessings you have had

I have taken my Son's 3 girls away for a week to Wales every year since the youngest was 2. We have a great time and the girls look forward to the next time from the minute we get back. The eldest will be 16 this year and is not able to come with us as she will be doing her GCSEs and will have to revise, but she said she is determined to come for at least 1 day bless her. I have always known there will come a time when they will not want to come so I am making the most of it for hopefully a few more years yet. My daughter lives in Wales and has a daughter of her own and we all meet up and spend as much time as possible together, it's lovely to see the 4 girls all getting on so well together.

Sorry you feel so sad.Could you go to a local junior school and read with the children?Lots of them probably don't have Grandparents near and would benefit greatly.One of my gc just had embroidery lessons and loved the elderly lady who taught her-------girl guides and brownies are all looking for leaders.Or sign up for a class you have always wanted to do but not had time,try to give yourself a really nice treat.Good luck

Nothing is forever ........ we have to keep reinventing g ourselves and finding a new focus. It is always sad to close what was a wonderful chapter ....... few of us are ever ready to do it! It exciting to start a new chapter. Allow yourself a brief period of self pity and then move on! We haven’t got that much time left, let’s just make the most of it! X