Upsetting friends

You are not in the wrong. What is it with people wanting to be daring and endangering others, apart from themselves? If he is not mature enough to understand the connotations of potential infection, he is too puerile to enjoy the company of adults.

Spot on FarNorth.
Totaly agree.

You’re not in the wrong. If it all went horribly wrong, none of you may ever meet up again!

I am part of a weekly group and we have continued to meet on Zoom. Now the restrictions have changed, weather permitting we plan a garden meet up.

I have a lovely friend who lives about 10 miles away. We chat on FaceTime every week. Last week she asked if I wanted to go to hers (she is in the countryside) for a socially distanced walk and I said no thank you. I feel safe in this bubble I have and I am hoping for the day when I can hug my grandchildren again. I would not put this at risk for anyone. My friend understands and no feelings were hurt.
Stick to your guns. Don’t do anything that you are uncomfortable with just to please a ‘friend’ who is putting pressure on you.

I've had a few 'doorstep conversations' at 2metres+ when delivering birthday cards and such like and last week met a friend for a walk in the park. Although I could meet more people I'm starting small because I know I am vulnerable. This week I'm meeting a couple of friends for a walk in the countryside but I wouldn't want to be with more than 2 others at the moment. If we all keep to the rules then further relaxations will come. If we don't, then more restrictions will have to be reintroduced as the R rate will rise. This is very much a case of 'Less is more'!

The current rules do allow up to six people in a garden. Be aware that this does not guarantee the the six people will be safe. It’s been proven that virus droplets can travel much further than 2 metres when talking. Coughing sends them further. Can you guarantee you won’t need to use the bathroom? What would you do in a sudden shower? Will you be having a drink? Will the chairs be washed down? Are you all wearing masks and disposable gloves? If one person has the virus, symptom free or not, all of you will be likely to pick it up. Are you ready to take the risk? That’s the question. Don’t forget, the government is under pressure to get the economy moving. They know that people will be more likely to get infected as lockdown eases but they have to do what they need to do.

Just tell him you think you might have it. Please don't feel pressurised by him. We all might be asymptomatic.

Surely this should not even be suggested? It is illegal at the moment. Full stop

Sounds like he thinks it's all "back to normal" now, and he doesn't feel that he's in a vulnerable group (but if he's male and over 65 then he is). Maybe someone needs to ask him why he thinks it's okay to meet in his house again, given the current government guidelines? Personally, I'd put the onus on HIM to explain himself, not you.

PS as others have said, you can have no symptoms and still have it. I know 2 friends who were tested at the same time, one had symptoms, the other didn't - they both came back positive. The one with no symptoms did develop them 3 days later - so everyone she had come into contact with before the result she had possibly infected, unknowingly. Maybe he doesn't realise this can happen ?

Do a Zoom meeting.
We have Zoom bookclub though recently that has been more talk about book recommendations and TV watched but this month we have all bought the same book to read(Amazon is making a fortune at the moment....as an aside I had to order a filling repair kit as no dentist available!) , still with a glass of wine, and Zoom knit club with a coffee and knit and chat. It would be nice to meet up for real but with the unreliable British weather it is pretty impossible to plan ahead.
Do what you feel comfortable with, we have to believe this will get better

I suspect the person inviting you is feeling lonely and is pressing because they want company but you must go by what you want to do. Six outside is the latest idea in England. I think things are getting a bit muddled now by the other countries doing different things. I am sticking to AC and GC at present.

I have a group of old school friends we normally meet up a couple of times a year. 2 weeks ago we met up on house party. I prefer zoom but one person couldn't install it. Don't go against get guidelines. I know a few people who have. But not me. Has your friend got a garden you can meet in. Whilst keeping a distance.

Please do what you know and feel to be right. I feel safer meeting up with those who are similar in mindset to me and are taking all proper precautions. Your friend would ring alarm bells with me as it sounds as if he doesn't take this seriously and therefore may not be a careful cleaning items, washing hands, social distancing etc. The virus is still in the community and there has been an easing of rules mainly for economic reasons. Just because we are allowed some more freedoms does not mean we have to use them. It will be a long time before I go into a shop again and I have told my friends I may not see them for a while as I am concentrating on seeing my family and that 'bubble' is enough. My friends are happy with that and we 'see' each other regularly on WhatsApp.

Yes just say you're following gov't guidlines- so you'll have to skip it this time...you could always say also that you've developed a little cough (even if you havent) too so you had better play it safe& stay home, as you'd not wish to put anyone else at risk...could always say much later it turned out was hay fever but best to play safe...

Ive not even met family members yet, i love & miss them but dont want to rush things.2 of my daughters want to meet up but theyre an hour&a half's drive apart,so even on a sunny day they'd still need her loo when there& its an upstairs only toilet..i dont know how it would work and they can only keep it to 6 if one of them's OH is at work (he's gone back) and only 3 of other daughters family go..ive advised them not to yet.... but they probably wont listen

If only everybody played by the rules then we would be well on the road to normality.
We must all stick to our guns and rid the world of this dreadful virus, and anybody who doesn’t agree is being selfish.
I have a good friend who says that ‘six is only a guide’, so hosting a birthday party in her garden for 10 is OK. No it’s not.

If you are in England you can now have a group of six people from different household meet up outside as long as you maintain social distancing. If you feel this will not be possible then just decline until say you all don't need to be so spread out or can meet indoors. Scotland you can only meet others from one family with a total group of 8 and only one per day ie you can't meet with say two people from one household in the morning and a group of 4 from another household in the afternoon. Sorry Wales and N.Ireland haven't researched your laws.

I think your friend is being unreasonable in the circumstances. I think a lot of us are in the same dilemma. I've had a number of different friends jump into trying to arrange meet ups, even 1:1s since the lessening of restrictions last week. For me, it feels far far too early but I went along with one garden get together with some friends and we sat apart and took our own drink. For me as soon as I was there it didn't feel right and I said so. It also clarified for me that lockdown has enabled me to re-assess how I go about things. For so long I've 'nicely' gone along with requests from others to do what they've suggested. All very well but it has stopped me from really enjoying my own time and dedicating hours at a time to doing what I want. Things are changing for me, I will let folk know gently that I don't necessarily see the future for me as it was previously. Happy to have fab friends, happy to meet up only occasionally but that I'm open to zoom type contact too. I must not let my willingness to do as others bid get in the way of my love of gardening for hours, cooking for the family, painting (like a true amateur but I love it), writing, other hobbies, volunteering etc.

I don't think you're in the wrong at all, I think the reason you're unsettled is, in part, due to recent weeks when we've been in lockdown and you've grown accustomed to it and the safety net it has provided. Only meet up when you feel like it. Tell people that it's the 'new you'. If they're happy to have you on your terms, great. All the best x

People obviously misunderstood what I meant. We know we need to keep our distance from people we don't live with. Therefore the sensible thing to do is not take part in any gatherings until this virus is no longer a problem. The guidelines of '6 people can gather together' is not really practical.

You are not wrong to decide what is best and safest for you. Explain your answer and they should understand. Fret not.

If you are prepared to risk getting this awful invisible virus and, even worse, prepared to risk sharing it with others you care for, then go ahead. Insanity rules.

The guidelines of '6 people can gather together' is not really practical

Perfectly feasible Ladymuck the line has to be drawn somewhere and 6 will in most cases enable grandparents to meet up with their children/grandchildren (not all at once) or a group of friends.

I have had DD’s in laws to lunch in the garden, a visit from other DD, DGD and puppy -again in the garden and if it stays fine (which it probably won’t) my book group -6 in total- are hoping to meet up later in the week.
If it rains - back to Zoom! .

Lockdown has made me realise I must be a bit of a secret recluse, because I honestly don’t miss certain things I did before.
I do miss swimming and aquacise, as it was good exercise, but don’t miss seeing other people that much really.
I know full well that if I were on my own, without DH, I might feel very differently.