What to eat

If the OP's husband is allergic to garlic, ready meals are probably no good as most contain garlic in some form.

How about getting hubby to cook his own meal from scratch. I couldn't see my dad doing it but who knows?! My mum has daily problem with my dad. She has home cooked for 59 years! And is fed up with it. He insists on his dinner being roasting hot with pepper and or sauce, then tends to piffle about with it and leave it. My mum now eats out at pub venues being a jazz fundie three times a week and if dad wants home food he has to put in a frozen meal for himself. He likes to pick between meals with biscuits. Very bad

My suggestion is not to give him anything different. If he hasn't changed in all these years, he's hardly going to now. Don't expend energy thinking of variety. I know what you mean by the tedium of having to think of and cook a meal every day!

Violette I really don't understand why you put up with such behaviour!

It reinforces my opinion that this sort of thing can't always be blamed on illness or medication - your husband was like this from the beginning and you were warned that he was a bully before you married him.

Having had a couple of friends whose husbands would only eat Proper English - meat with mash and peas, etc., I used to be under the illusion that it was only Brit men who were like this, until dd had a long term Italian boyfriend who would only eat Italian. They were living and working in SE Asia at the time, and he wouldn't eat any of the lovely food, and nor would any of the other 5 Italians they shared a house with! And Italian food locally was understandably very limited.

She did eventually get him to be much more adventurous, but it was something of an eye opener for both her and me.
She later married an utterly un-fussy bloke, like her dad.

It would drive me quite mad to be fair! The only thing I can suggest is make loads of a big batch so he can microwave them. And if he does not like that idea, I would say MAKE YOUR OWN! XX

I was lucky that my late DH would eat most things, I've never pandered to the "cook separate meals" even when we had our DC at home - don't like it cook your own.

I am so glad I only have myself to please now. There is no way I would be a slave especially I would draw the line at cooking things I hate the smell of. My DH liked all offal (I only like liver) & pigs trotters - he had to cook them himself

He needs someone to do what his Mother should have done years ago

Sar53 show him this message please.............GROW UP, YOU ARE NOT A FUSSY TODDLER ANY LONGER, YOU ARE A GROWN MAN WHO IS MAKING YOUR WIFE'S LIFE BLOODY HARD WORK.

I like to be adventurous whilst O H likes to live in 'the land of the bland'!,we have ameal that suits us turn and turn about- that way we are both happy 50% of the time! It's worked well for 39yrs!

Get a slow cooker and a good recipe book. For example Slow by allyson gofton a penguin original.

The contents - soup,beef, chicken, lamb, vegetarian, dessert. You will find at least 25 receipies out of the book that your husband will like, add to these from the internet i.e beef burgoine using pork and beef together. Add salmon etc.

You can set it on slow as you leave for work. You will have some food left over and your will be able to freeze this. I use Indian takeaway plastic containers. There are some excellent frozen veg which are always fresher than those in the shops as they are frozen immediately on picking. You can steam a selection. I do get root veg from the shop i.e. swede, turnip, parsnip, carrot and a selection of these can be steamed all in together.

If there is not enough gravy I have glass jars from the super market of gravy for lamb, for pork, for chicken. for beef. I put a TBS into the very small Pyrex jug pour on boiling water put in microwave to finish off and then add a dash of white or red wine before serving.

Work out your own system that works for you. As you can see Violette has her system.

Feel for you all ! I have one like that at home ...changed considerably in the 15 years have known him, from being an avid tryer of different foods including cooking which he loved, to being difficult and demanding ...could be his health (two mini strokes and PAD) and after an accident with his eye bad eyesight ,,and also bad hearing ! Doesn't excuse how rude and nasty he is though ! SO I cooke enormous slow cookers full of stew ...beef, lamb, veggie, chicken ....and freeze it in single size portions (if he is given too much he say he is not going to eat it and puts it down the loo) ...it is hard but over time I have got used to his wasting food, or refusing to eat at all ! I think a lot of this behaviour is because he is resentful of the fact he can cannot do the things he used to, and he takes it out on me ...could your H be the same > some men have an odd way of showing their jealousy of the fact you have the control over food now and he cannot control you and resents the fact you are no longer working and he is ? My OH always had a controlling streak (which I let him think he got away with ...but he didn't ! When we married 15 years ago both his mother and sister and daughter warned me he was a controlling bully ! Not successful with me and I know he doesn't like that ! Tonight he is having veggie lasagne ..he will complain loudly or throw it away but I shall ignore him ! I cook, he doesn't eat ..up to him !

Who cooks at week-ends, Sar53, aren't you entitled to days off too?

I'm with BarmyOldBat - if he's that fussy, let him get his own meals. You wouldn't cook separate meals for children so why do it for adults unless there is a medical reason for not eating something.
My Dad was a meat-and-two-veg man. He came to stay with us when my eldest was two. I served a Sunday roast (which we never had normally) and my son asked what it was - he'd never seen meat in a slice or whole potatoes and veg. as I usually did casseroles, rice or spaghetti dishes where everything was in the sauce together. My Dad was horrified but my son survives to this day, and eats anything put in front of him.

I do think that some men from listening to others' headaches about menu planing that the older they get the more they hanker after their mum' s cooking. I'm waiting for the I liked mince like mother made it. That's when we eat the leg of lamb from the freezer

after a similar problem I bought a roll of sticky backed blackboard paper and we now make a menu plan for the week ahead if he doesn't give any input he cant complain its all there on the wall

Why should the onus be on you to come up with the limited menu for OH? I would probably sit down with him, maybe this weekend, and say that you want to plan a tasty menu for the next 2 weeks. Let him choose for likes and varieties. You can then always subtly point out how much fat there is in the diet or not enough veg etc and say you are only concerned about his health. Get him to think about his diet and health. Failing that if he still doesn't have a mind of his own, other than the wagging tail, then start to add variety subtly to the diet eg add corn mince and veg etc to the shepherds pie. With all that gravy I doubt he would notice.

Ask him to give you a list of foods that he will eat, and if you feel obliged to cook for him every day (I definitely wouldn't, with a demanding beggar like that), make those. Alternatively, make a massive batch of shepherd's pies with loads of gravy, freeze them and serve him the same thing every night. If he doesn't like it, then he knows where the kitchen is (hopefully)

I can't believe that grown adults, who have presumably managed on their own for some period of time, can revert to toddler like behaviour once they have a partner who they feel should be pandering to them.

Tell him if he's that fussy he can cook his own. You are not his servant.

Buy him ready meals and if he won't eat them he can do his own. M&S and Waitrose do nice, additive free meals with plenty of gloop for a gravy fan. It'll be expensive but well worth it for the peace.

Of course he will sulk and complain for a while. Stick your fingers in your ears, smile, grit your teeth and see it through.

I too find cooking very tedious. Luckily my husband is very easily pleased and will often sort out his own food. I would buy M and S ready meals and decant into my own dishes. Would he notice?

How about he cooks you favourite meal from time to time?

I was fortunate that my late DH would eat whatever was put in front of him
If I had a ''pain''to cook for I would most certainly buy ready meals, plenty of wonderful and cheap selections now in our supermarkets and may I add you look on line for what is available make a list and then wizz off to buy or have them delivered and fill your freezer to the brim.

OH is fussy about some things that he isn't keen on. But tough if I like to cook and eat these things then he just has to get on with it. So now he has learnt to eat pasta, rice, fish, lemon, nuts, but I let him off cold soups and meringue.

I will not dance attendance on fussy eaters and that also includes my grandchildren, vegetarians and OH. If I go to the trouble of doing all the shopping and cooking they must learn to eat and appreciate. Otherwise just go hungry.

Witzend I have a big shepherds pie fan !! For his birthday in Jan 2016 I gave him a voucher for one shepherds pie per week. By March he was on his own as I could not eat another one !! ( I'm not a big fan anyway). By July I gave up .... he didn't notice ;-)

We're too mature to have to bother with this faddiness. I can understand the allergy problem but the rest is ridiculous. I wouldn't even try to think of anything different - chop one day, pie the next and roast on Sunday, all with gravy, should suffice. Life's too short. And I would make myself favourite tasty meals which in my case would be fish, rice, noodles, pasta, tasty veg.