Things children say [smile]

Dd , then aged 10, packed bus after school. Rather loud voice... Mum, what's a blow job? Everyone stopped and looked waiting for my answer ? I told her when we got home, in child terms, obviously. She'd heard it from a boy at school ?

My son is 45 now but we still call the garden hammock "the Haddock". We used to call having a wee "going for a tinkle" and my mobile hairdresser asked him one day if he was going to have a tinkle on the piano. Very indignantly he said "NO, in the cloakroom !".

When my son was about 3 we had a plumber in at our new house doing 'snagging'. As is customary,the plumber had a pencil behind his ear. My son followed him about all day and eventually whispered to me "How does he do his writing like that?"

I was once travelling on a coach with my 3 year old daughter when she pointed at the (bald) man in front of us and said loudly "That man's got skin on his head". At a similar age she pointed to a tattoed man and said "That man's been drawing on himself!!"

Walking my son home from his first day at school, he told me he couldn't believe everyone had ' the same clothes on!' He hadn't really enjoyed it much so I assured him that tomorrow would be different. 'I'm going back?!' he exclaimed.
Just the other day I asked my 3year old GD what she wanted to be when she was older. ' I want to be.....just like you.'

When my daughter was 5 (she's now 35) she said to my mum 'Grandma, when you were a little girl had the wheel been invented?' My mum was only 54 at the time!!!

Purplepoppies I would love to have heard your explanation.
Rosina you made me laugh out loud.
What a lovely thread. Thank you Bradfordlass72

DS, aged around two always asked for grumbled (scrambled) egg, And loved bejjies (strawberries).

My young grandson came running in excitedly from school where they had been celebrating some royal event.
To mv atheist daughter - "Mummy, mummy, you have to believe in God now, because he saved our queen!"
Another time my daughter was trying to explain how to dial 999 in an emergency. Don't worry mummy. No need, if you're ever ill I'll pray for you!

When my son was about 5 we went on a caravan holiday with a large group of our family. My daughter said she needed the toilet - which was in a separate toilet block some distance away so I grumbled, " not again - you only went a few minutes ago"
My son piped up with "she must have a weak gladys" obviously he meant a weak bladder.
Needless to say it stuck and its still used today even though my son is now 36.
In a café my daughter (who is an extremely fussy eater) was reading the menu and couldn't find anything she would eat. After a few minutes she said "whats Kwitchie"?
It was quiche! She's never lived it down as she was 15 at the time!

My DH was doing some diy once which required the use of his jig saw. Our neighbours little boy heard him say to me, “I need to get the jig saw for this”, to which the little boy piped up “I’ve got a jigsaw”.

When Dgd was about 3, she was helping me look for mozzarella cheese in the supermarket. I was having trouble finding it so she said maybe they don't have mostly yella cheese in this shop .

My daughter when much younger came running outside shouting "all the horses have been evaporated". She was watching the start of the Grand National on the TV. Due to a false start all the horses had been eliminated!

My eldest daughter called scrambled eggs strangled eggs. But the prize has to go to my youngest daughter. She once stood up in class and said an octopus has eight testicles! She also introduced us as her intermediate family and once told us about girl who hadn’t ‘battered an eyelash!’ To this day she has a habit of getting words almost right.

My middle son,when he was 5 he’s now 33,said to his nan”What was it like when the dinosaurs were around?’
When my 2 oldest boys,when they were younger, were asked what sweet they wanted for a treat oldest son said Turkey and light( which was easy to work out was a Turkish delight) middle son said he would like a Dumpy and it took us ages to work out that he wanted a Bounty ??

I've just got back from the supermarket where a young mum was having a loaf sliced at the bakery counter. Her small son in his pushchair was horrified 'He's BROKEN our bread!'

When one of mine was small and had fallen out of bed I asked 'What happened to you?' 'The floor hit me!'. I was told.

When my nephews were little, in the car driving through countryside with their mum (my sister), one pipes up from the back “mum look! that cow’s giving that cow a piggy back!” ?

My 5 year old grandson and I were having a bit of a picnic after school in his backgarden. When his Dad came home, he said 'oooh Al fresco!'. Ted looked at his plate of babybels, carrot sticks and pita bread, and said in all seriousness 'No there's no al fresco!'

also my grandaughter insisted that she had tuna rats for lunch, not tuna wraps.

My 6 year old granddaughter asked me why I had patterns on my face ? I think patterns sound much nicer than wrinkles ?

My 7 year old grandson was asked a question in school.. the right answer earned a sweet. "Whats 3 + 3? "6 miss," said he. Well done come and get sweet. "I don't effing want a sweet" he replied. Shock horror.... "Teacher - "I will not have that language in my class, stop it"!!! Teacher - "what's 4 + 4 ? .. my GS first to put his hand up .... "8 Miss". Teacher - "well done come and get a sweet". GS - "I dont want an effing sweet"!! Teacher - "thats it I will not have that language I will have your Father to this class to sort this out". Next day... Father stood at front of class with Teacher > Teacher - "Mr Bloggs I want you to watch this"?? Teacher - "OK children whoever gets the question right gets a sweet"!! Teacher - "what is 5 + 5"?? GS hand up, "10 miss". "Yes, well done come and get a sweet" GS - "I dont want an effing sweet"!! The Teacher turns to the Father and says - "well now Mr Bloggs, what have you got to say about that"??? Mr Bloggs replies - "well don't effing give him an effing sweet"!!!!!!

I asked 6yr old DGS why he had to climb on everything, even thing not made for climbing on, the reply 'because it's my favourite thing nanny, I couldn't exist without climbing' - pause - 'nanny, what does exist mean'.

Our son aged about 3 was playing with a toy farm yard in the dining room. He'd invited 2 little girls in from down the road and they were happily building the farm. I couldn't resist a little listen in from the kitchen. Suddenly my boy leapt up, climbed half way up the stair case and stopped. He appeared to have a little wooden chicken in his hand when he shouted down to his audience, 'You two have to do as I say. I'm in charge cos I'm the one with the cock!'

Our daughter used to tell everyone that her daddy played the petarga. Guitar.

What a great thread, thanks BradfordLass I've laughed all the way through.

When our DS was about 3, our neighbours at the time had an outside loo. One day I heard him calling out "what are you doing Mrs. W.? wees or poos?

She came out looking very disgruntled and said "I was doing a wee not that that has anything to do with you".

My middle child, sick of hand me downs, said “all my clothes have had other people in them”!