Ladies who like to be driven to places - why?

I have always loved driving and the independence it has given me. At the age of 69 I drove from Portugal to England and back again by myself and really enjoyed it. My DH and I have always had our own cars but this year, because of my ill health and consequently not needing to both go in separate directions at the same time, we have sold the two cars bought a new one. Neither of our cars was suitable if I should need a wheelchair. I have only driven a few times since then due to chemo and being on strong painkillers but there is no way, at the age of 75 am I giving up driving.
Yes I have had 'friends' like Margaret and it's surprising how quickly you are dropped you cant take them where ever they want to go. I think with Margaret it is not only wanting lifts but she wants someone to organise her social life for her as she was annoyed you didnt take her for a meal when you took your relative.

Minimoon, I'm like you. I still drive every day but no longer like driving at night due to growing cataracts. If a car is coming towards me with their headlights on I have to slow right down as I can't see much. I hate driving my husband anywhere. He was a professional driver for years and thinks he is the only person who knows how to drive. His constant nagging when I'm behind the wheel makes me so nervous I make silly mistakes. I've told him that I won't drive him anywhere now. Besides, you don't don't buy a dog and bark yourself do you?

I’ve always loved driving since I was 17 and actually got my last job with emergency services on the basis that I had D1 classification on my licence which was the case if you passed your test before 1997.

It meant I could drive the 16 seater minibus from the day I started rather than my employers putting me through a course and test months later. Over the ten years until I retired I hopped into so many different cars and vans without a second thought and when I was tested by the service driving instructor, sailed through effortlessly.

I still pull my weight on long journeys and my DH appreciates it now that he’s getting older - we swap over every 90mins. Buses, trains @nd taxis have their place but the 2min-I’m-on-my-way convenience can’t be beaten - in my opinion, of course!

Because of my eyesight I can't see at night. Some people may have valid reasons.

I think we should have to be retested from time to time, but I am not sure what age it should start.

I dont think an age limit would do. E.g. someone who passes at 17 then never drives until 28 isnt, IMO, fit to drive without a refresher.

There should be a declaration every 5 years that you have driven X hours and if not you must do a refresher lesson.
Every 5 years everyone should re-do the theory and hazard computer test, with any failed referred for full re-testing.

Professionals arent allowed to practice without declaring paractice hours and CPD. Driving should have similar rules, IMO

When we moved here we made a point of choosing somewhere with facilities within walking distance, with a good bus service, and easy access to major routes.
So far we are both able to drive and each have a car, but I also use the bus a lot too.
There are far too many older people who ought to give up driving, or maybe restrict themselves to local routes and daytime only. Occasionally I have had a lift from someone who ought not to be driving as they are far too dangerous,
My father kept on driving far too long, but did eventually give up and used the money saved to get taxis, if the bus wasn’t convenient.
I think we should have to be retested from time to time, but I am not sure what age it should start.

My husband always loved driving, and I was happy to leave it to him most of the time. When he had to give up, and I took over, he could not understand my reluctance when he missed it so much.
Apart from the driving, I had no confidence in myself to deal with any emergency, and was always relieved to get home.
I finally decided....late seventies...to stop forcing myself to drive; sold the car and think of the money saved as my taxi fund.
Such a relief!

During my membership of GN I have been amazed by the number of people who have admitted to being nervous drivers, some will not drive if it is wet or windy or avoid motorways. I discovered one friend usually brashly self confident whose driving was limited by all kinds of fears and who would only drive on a motorway at night if she stayed in the middle lane and had someone elses red lights to follow.

I always thought you just learnt to drive and did it. I do not think I am over confident or a rash driver, certainly not a fast driver, but if I have to get somewhere I get in my car and drive.

In the last three weeks I have twice had to make really difficult hourneys. Both were long journeys made in torrential rain one was from the north Wales Coast back across the mountains to England, The roads were narrow, windy, unfamiliar and often covered by water or had huge puddles half across the road just after blind bends. The other a journey home from France, nearly all on motorways, but I was driving on the right in a righthand drive car and couldn't easily see overtaking traffic. Also my boot lock had broken during my visit so the boot was tied down with rope that went across my rear windscreen and stopped me using mr rear windscreen wipers.

I wouldn't willing have made either of those journeys but I had to so I did and did not waste time or mind on being nervous. I just gritted my teeth and drove.

I think there are still too many women, in particular, who would rather batten on other people than take themselves in hand and accept that if they choose not to drive when they can, then they must just use a bus, taxi or train or stay at home.

* I don’t understand some women’s need to restrict themselves which is what refusing to drive does.*



Yeah okay!

I love the freedom of NOT having a car

I detest 'Margarets' of this world and stay well away from them. They're not nice people so why waste my time with them! I don't mind taking turns with members of my groups in driving but only around our town and no further because I rely on my sat nav because I wouldn't like them to judge me on the basis of having driven there several times and should be able to find my way easily. Some of the ones I've given a lift to, behaved entitled so I dropped them. Some wouldn't want taking turns so I dropped them too. Some of these started to walk or use others for a lift which is fine with me but they started picking on me for not using my legs. I told them that I have my reasons for not offering lift to everyone and would appreciate it if they didn't give such 'advices' as I'm an adult and understand what's good or bad for me like everyone else. I found it very nasty when they picked on me in front of the rest of which ever group we happened to be with. I will not be manipulated, used, abused or shamed by such individuals and I'm not afraid of the consequences at all. I only ask for a lift from people who've I've given a lift to. I don't befriend anyone just because they can be my taxi, fix my computer, etc. and smell it if someone to befriend me on those basis.

You could tell her you are not sure if your insurance covers taking her as passenger.

I drive as my DH lost confidence after his heart attack, I do all the towing of our caravan too.

Monica is so right ladies. - my dad (who is 85 and still doing everything himself) told me when I retired to keep doing everything I’d always done or I wouldn’t be able to do things I’d always done!

As with everything practice makes perfect. I think if you can drive and can afford to own a car then you need to keep your hand in. You never know when you will be grateful for making the effort.

DH went to see his GP this summer, thankfully, with me with him, because when he had described his symptoms the GP told him what it almost certainly was, we too had reached the same conclusion, and then said that she had to officially advise him not to drive until the problem was treated. So I drove him home, and took over all the driving, in his car and mine for the next 2 months. That included two holidays in France, driving on the other side of the road, and several long motorway journeys in the UK.

I was very grateful that I had kept my driving up, not just pottering around locally in my own car but driving the bigger family car on long journeys and driving when we were in France, because I was able to immediately take on the full family driving load without any worries or problems.

My oh is just learning to drive at age 39. I have done all the long gruelling 6/8 hour drives I can take. Plus I told him when our baby is born I’m not driving myself home from hospital as I did with the other 2.
I think it’s a very important life still that everyone should keep in with until they are no longer safe to do so. Mil at 60 gave up driving when she re married and when she visits I’m the driver, plus head cook and bottle wash and I think it’s too much! I’m exhausted plus have to give up my bed and sleep on cushions in the living room. Which given my disabilities is no mean feat getting up again. She gave up because her new hubby can drive her around which I think is unfair to be honest, and more so to expect everyone else to do so too. Xx

Tanama
Tried driving on a three lane motorway,? getting out of a city during peak times ? Give me, at my age, a 'dodgy' single track any day.Take twenty years off now that would be a different tale .

I used to be a rep years ago and enjoy driving on my own but never with DH in the car as he is so critical. He is also very picky about the state of our car and tuts at every little mark. He has just changed our car for a new one (I preferred the one we had but apparently it was getting old) and now I am putting off driving it in case it gets a scratch! I'll enjoy it though, once it's not so new.

I'm 63 and have driven since I passed my test at 18. I've driven in different parts of the world and in rural areas and big cities. I wouldn't give it up unless I felt I was a danger to others. My DH and I share driving, though he prefers to but I don't like his style of driving - typical male going too fast, too close, impatient!

I'm happy to give lifts if I'm going to a place someone else needs to go - I prefer to be the driver as I find many women my age are anxious drivers and I can't bear it! I'm often offered 'petrol money' but won't accept as I was going anyway, often friends will buy me a coffee or lunch which is fine. I'd be unhappy and find a way of not offering lifts to someone who I felt was taking advantage

Goodness, 50/60s should keep driving themselves unless they have a medical problem. To give up that sense of freedom for no reason seems silly. I am wondering what Margarets problems really are and her age, is it selfishness or a medical problem, I wonder if she is very lonely "a nice drive" sounds like a desire to get out in company. I'm well into my 70's and drive locally as much as I can. If you don't want to offer a lift just keep quiet or kindly refuse.

Thank you all for replies. I agree that some people will start to struggle with eyesight, medical conditions etc as we get older and not want to say; complete respect for that - there but for the grace of god etc. I'd also say its important to have independence if you can by any means, public transport or car, or even still being able to walk and move around easily _ I'm sure we would all want this.

Those of you who have touched on Margaret having other issues, I think you're right. I could tell you some outrageous stories but they'd be entirely outing. She definitely likes the idea of being looked after - "pampered" - as someone said earlier but equally she is losing confidence and many of us can identify with that.

I did like JayLucys account of a woman who only befriend those who had something though; I'm glad it's not only me who stumbles across people like that!!

For those worried about Margaret exploding, she was unhurt in the blast. HTH.

Possibly a couple of refresher driving lessons to get your confidence back? Well worth the money!

I think Margaret's taking advantage of people's good nature.
It's a bit of a cheek to have a lift with a friend and then go off on her own to do her shopping. Does she get a lift home too?
Time to make excuses I think.
I have never had any interest in driving and these days the roads are so busy. I'm a nervous passenger. My son and daughter drive and I often get told off. I'm like 'Hyacinth Bucket' .....mind that cow Richard.
I have always caught the bus. Only one every hour and the service ends around 7.30pm and so I'm glad of the occasional lift if it's convenient to them. If not, arrange for another day. I pay my way although not always accepted but I do offer.

how has Margaret survived “literally” exploding?

'Margaret' is a user.....she won't have many friends left....one by one, they will 'drop' her (excuse the pun).