men on postnatal wards at night

Bring back the old fashioned Matrons, they’ll sort it

Here we are with the old “human rights” argument again. What an absolutely ridiculous idea. A ward isn’t a place for social gatherings. Nice way to hide the need for more nurses though! How did women manage in past decades/centuries? It’s this present attitude that people’s demands, however stupid, have to be met. No, they don’t! Then there’s the whole other issue of risk of infection. My mind is boggled.

Maybe if all the beds were in small rooms...

Our a&e is all small rooms with doors rather than curtained cubicles, so maybe if the post natal ward was set up like that it might work better.

I would have HATED this with my four - I had c-sections and had to hobble to the loo, bits hanging out, in pain. The last thing I’d have wanted is a group of men sitting around watching me and the world go by.
I was always glad when visiting time was over because some women felt it necessary to have a least 4 families around the bed at all times, shouting over each other from 2 until 8 - and I just wanted to rest with my baby.
I think it’s a beautiful time for mother and child, there are long visiting hours for dads and some won’t be able to stay overnight due to work or other children which just makes it even kinkier for the women whose partners can’t be there. I’ve no time for this ‘we’ve just given birth’ NO - ‘She’ has just given birth. If they pay for a private room then fair egg cough but why should other r ET omen feel the need to hide behind a curtain for privacy after birth - let the new mothers support each other, along with nursing staff.

I would certainly draw the line at smelly hot takeaways - bad enough on a bus, when you’re not feeling fragile. As for staying the whole night, unless it’s a private room with sufficient facilities, I can’t see how that would work, or not disturb other people.

My dd who recently gave birth must have been lucky. After the birth she was moved to her own room with a big double bed, where her also very tired dh fell asleep beside her in the evening. (It was an NHS hospital, in case anybody’s wondering.). He later came home to bed, though.

IIRC after she had her first in the same hospital, visitors had to be out by a certain time - 8 or 9 pm.

???I really did mean lonelier and not kinkier!
Women not omen!
Bloody spellcheck - bloody men!

Worrying. Any male could swan in claiming to be the partner of a new mother and cause irreparable havoc......

Can't men just realise they don't have a God-given right to be everywhere?

I was a bit confused by that, thought I was missing something

Pen 50 - totally agree with you. It's high time hospitals were dragged into the 21st century and did away with wards, mixed or otherwise and useless curtains which give no privacy whatsoever. They should all be replaced with private rooms. There's nothing worse than the huniliation of losing your privacy and dignity, especially when you are sick and/or vulnerable. The last time I had a scan I had to change into one of those awful gowns which tie at the back and be walked through several corridors lined with people sitting waiting for appointments! The very idea of men hanging around a maternity ward at night is horrendous. It's bad enough during the day for the other mothers - give the poor women some privacy for goodness sake.

No husband's should not be allowed to stay, however if they would like to pay for a private room in which they would not disturb other new mothers then that could be arranged, cash up front of course.

First baby 1973 and husband in waiting room (watching Wimbledon). Then saw baby and went home. Second time 1975 a home birth, after 6 months fighting to get it. Husband practically delivered baby as midwives gave up when labour stopped (main one and 3 students as few home births then) and he'd seen the film so said is ok! Midwives arrived back as I was pushing. Husband went to check on 2 year old, throwing cornflakes around the kitchen. Gran came to collect her and we settled to a day at home, with new baby. If all is well, highly recommend home birth. And that second daughter had a home birth 40 years later, husband there in birth pool with her, 3 midwives taking photos, very happy baby.

Maybe we should be lobbying our MP's to say that the new hospitals we have been promised will have more privacy and dignity designed into the plans.

Often services are set up with the patients needs at the bottom of the pile- I'm thinking here of Willow running the gauntlet in her gown and clutching the back to ensure no one sees her knickers. Why are services set up that way?

I saw a documentary about Claridges some years ago where senior staff stay over night in a refurbished room to spot check the potential problems. Maybe the hospital managers should trial various services to see what it feels like walking through hospital corridors barely dressed while bored patients and their entourage watch you with great interest, or spend the night on a maternity ward with endless chit chat and noise from the man staying with his partner in the next bay.

I think not, if you want your partner staying the night then go private. Sorry if that sounds harsh but once the baby is born and everything is ok then the partner should leave. I would hate other peoples partners being on same ward as I tried to feed my baby.

There was never any peace at night in hospital anyway. I just had to have my own room - and get home asap.

I had 3 cesareans...5 days in hospital each time. I managed. I am not sure why a woman needs her partner there helping 24/7. My daughters have had 6 cesareans between them and their partners didn't stay with them 24/7. Never heard the like. I think it awful that women are being denied privacy at this time.

This reminds me of my hospital stays when I've been driven mad by people watching bedside TVs without headphones late into the night. Once someone was watching a western with loads of gunfighting when all the other patients had lights-out and blankets over their heads. As mentioned by others, it's up to staff how to deal with it, but they were usually away on the nurses station and not bothered. One time it got so bad I spent the rest of the night lying on chairs in the dayroom. Oh for the days when there was a clear day and night time on the ward, and a nurse sat in silence at a desk in the middle with her papers, her light a comforting glow. I know it's not practical now, but I miss it. Proper rest is as vital as medicine for recovery. As is nutritious food. Both need to be prioritised more than they are at the moment.

Nearly 20 years ago when I had my last baby, my husband was kicked out just as I was coming around after a C-section and was vomiting. There were notices that mid-wives weren't there to care for the babies and mothers were responsible for them. I couldn't look after myself let alone a baby so my husband asked if he could stay until I could manage. The answer was a negative and when I asked how I was supposed to get the baby out of its crib when I couldn't move due to the op, they just tucked him up in bed with me. I was drifting in and out of consciousness with the morphine but managed to express my concern at the baby falling out of bed whilst I was out of it...they just put the bed side up. Had I been at home with a baby in my bed whilst under the influence of Class A drugs, Social Services would have removed said baby from my care.
I absolutely support the father being allowed to stay but more privacy should be provided for the other patients. Most new mothers only stay for 4-6 hours after the birth so it shouldn't be too disruptive or difficult to manage.

First birth in 1973 in hospital no fathers allowed in except in visiting hours, but 22 mothers and babies in the ward and it was not peaceful. Toilets were not that clean either. You had to stay 10 days then after the birth. Husband was merchant navy and due to go back so I discharged myself after 5 days. Hence the battle to have second child at home 2 years later. And I am very glad I managed it.

I’d have loved my DH to stay after the birth, but I wouldn’t have wanted a ward full of other husbands so it’d have to be one rule for all.
Simple rules, no food, no use of mobile phones by visitors (including taking photos), low voices for talking -or you’re out. Oh and the need for respect for staff.

I had never heard of this happening so a little shocked. I would not have liked my husband, or anybody elses to be in the ward at night. Having a member of the opposite sex at an outpatients appointment in the next cubicle is bad enough which happened to me when I had a gyny appointment. The lady is the next (curtained off) bed (with her husband) was being asked very personal questions about her sex life, the doctor thought the curtains provided complete privacy. This happens in all sorts of wards (physio e.g.) So having men present takes away any privacy a new mums may want. I hope that there are some NHS staff reading this.

As a retired ward sister I was appalled ,when visiting my DiL in a surgical ward,to find in the bed opposite, a patient whose partner was objectionable.
Complained that a monitor was bleeping a d getting on his nerves! He lay on the bed, then went off to get a take away, his poor partner was' nil by mouth'!
What I found amazing, the staff did nothing! Would not happen in my day!

pen50
I completely agree.

Ah, those soundproof curtains!

I had to stay on the antenatal ward recently for tests. It was not a pleasant experience.
There were men behaving really badly. Loud, lots of friends permitted at all hours, food, flatulence, ipads blaring giks and music, like phone ring tones, laughing at all hours, use of patient toilet and shower facilities - horrific. I didn't sleep a wink.
A strict set of guidelines needs to be followed. It really did feel very vulnerable.
I have no idea how I will cope when the time comes for my C section, if I have to stay for weeks like last time.
How the heck are you supposed to establish breastfeeding in those circumstances, let alone recover.

Oh I forgot the indignity of breast pumps and doctors asking all sorts of personal questions that you don't want the world listening to the answers through the lovely see through none sound proof curtains.
I also saw be man look under the curtain at the lady in the next bed from his partner!
Shocking.
If men are staying all patients should have private rooms.