daughter wants to terminate at 16 weeks

MrsWarren Spot on it’s exactly like that! I wish I had known about these meds when I had my children! I too couldn’t care for my older daughter(s) during the second and third pregnancies. I literally couldn’t leave my bed, even moving my head slightly would set off the vomiting! I damaged my oesophagus too and became a candidate for an IV drip! Meanwhile my MIL suggested ginger biscuits for “morning sickness!!!” I couldn’t keep water down even!!
My daughters got Ondansetron and it was a life changer! They all had lovely healthy babies.

Sorry I pressed "preview" and clocked on "Post" tutt
MrsWarren's suggestions are spot on! And worth a try.Also sadly if your daughter really would like children then she may be prone to Hyperemesis G each time.I found not getting too hungry helped,tiny nibbles of dry crackers and sips of water helped.
I hope tomorrow things seem clearer and your daughter gets through this with your support

Jane OP mentioned that a Grandchild might fill a void in her life.

I believe this condition is extremely distressing and debilitating and I can quite understand why your daughter wants to terminate the pregnancy.

I thought that this condition could now be treated quite successfully. The Duchess of Cambridge suffered from it and, from my recollection, it was very successfully treated but perhaps she had more care taken.

I think your daughter should be getting far more support as she must be absolutely desperate to consider the termination of a presumably wanted baby. Her GP should immediately be informed of the seriousness of the situation so that she can be referred to a specialist.

If she were my daughter, although I would be sad I would not be disappointed in her and would certainly not convey any disappointment I may feel to her. She must feel mentally and physically drained and the last thing she needs is her mother to make her feel worse than she already feels.

Your poor daughter.

What do you try to tell her that she gets defensive?

I agree with Statblaze.
This is not about you, your gc is not prozac and your purpose in life cannot depend on other people but yourself.

"She was so happy and apart from the normal worries this was some great news and gave me a new feeling of purpose as she sais she would my help and i was willing to give it."

Place face your life and what you want to do about being cheated on.

What a sorry situation you are in!
I hope your DD can get some real help with the persistent sickness.
I am surprised that she would be offered a termination for this alone, unless she is suicidal. I feel if it was less of a secret, she would be able to access proper help. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

As for your situation: I am sorry too. Your DDs pregnancy will have been such a welcome distraction after your betrayal by a husband who you have stuck with for so long.
I hope that the stories shared on here will give you the strength you need to face the future, whatever it brings.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
My own personal experience of "morning" sickness was it began almost before I was sure I was pregnant and I vomited in the street once. It could be any time of day. At about 20 weeks I realised I didn't feel sick any more. I had 4 x DC and the first (pregnancy) was the worst.

oopsadaisy my apologies, I should have read the OP again

I do think that some of the comments to OP about this "not being about you" are a bit harsh. She is going through a miserable time and any of us would have felt a lift to know a new GC is on the way.

I hope that your DD can get the help she needs whatever she decides; better treatment for her HG or a termination.

You have all my sympathy OP.

hyperemesis gravidarum is far worse, much more severe, than morning sickness. It's almost continuous nausea, retching, dehydration, weight loss and dizziness. It's so totally debilitating that your daughter should probably be cared for in hospital.

Luckygirl I agree but there’s a recurrent theme with some posters that people must not consider grandchildren as ‘theirs” in any way!!

We have to know the rules in this game don't we! Lucca and Luckygirl it can be a minefield.

When my DC are suffering or anyone in my family I want to help and if it means interfering occasionally - so be it. Better than not and later being accused of being uncaring and wrapped up in my own problems.
We help each other but I guess when someone else is suffering you won't want to burden them with your own problems.
I realise severe pregnancy sickness has a name but all the more reason for being out in the open with a serious illness, surely Hetty?

This pregnancy is not about the OP, it is her dd's.

What it is about the OP: her husband cheating on her, for example.
What OP should be thinking about is how to deal with that without involving her dd and gc.

Yes, it is way harder to solve the real issue instead of hiding behind a curtain (pregnancy and baby, in this case) but life is not always easy.

The sooner OP faces the real problems, the better off everybody will be.

OP has had an incredibly stressful time in recent months and has described it to us.
Haranguing her is pointless, she needs constructive help.
Luckily some posters have given her this.

Hithere

This pregnancy is not about the OP, it is her dd's.

What it is about the OP: her husband cheating on her, for example.
What OP should be thinking about is how to deal with that without involving her dd and gc.

Yes, it is way harder to solve the real issue instead of hiding behind a curtain (pregnancy and baby, in this case) but life is not always easy.

The sooner OP faces the real problems, the better off everybody will be.

Well that’s her told !
I hope she comes back as I feel very sad for her and think she has every right to worry what the effect of a termination might be on her daughter.

Far north ?

Oh of course she can worry about how it will affect her daughter. No one said otherwise. She can worry about how it affects herself as well, but just not to her daughter. Which I would guess has happened due to the comment that her daughter gets defensive.

It’s a horrible situation all around, especially for Op as it has compounded her horrible situation with her husband.

Ring a theory for grief really suits this situation well.

Sorry but one poster is implying she should only be bothered about her own relationship issue.

“ Ring a theory for grief ” what does this mean, sorry if I’m being obtuse

Doesn’t your DD’s husband and the Father of this child get any say in it?!
I can imagine what my DH would have said (if I had said I wanted a termination)of a wanted baby (our baby) because of constant sickness.It is grim ( I went through it myself) but you have to hang in there and talk to the GP.

"Well that’s her told !
I hope she comes back as I feel very sad for her and think she has every right to worry what the effect of a termination might be on her daughter."

Of course OP would worry about this! What a difficult decision to make.

and yet you say “ The sooner OP faces the real problems, the better off everybody will be.”

Lucca
I still stand by it.
I didnt say for OP to ignore her dd

What I said is for OP to solve her problems instead of finding her new purpose on other people - this pregnancy, the baby and helping her dd.
That is not healthy.

OP can do both things - address what is wrong with her life AND support her dd.

Her dd has enough on her plate. She doesnt need to be her mother's emotional crutch so her mother can be happy again

What happens if her dd doesnt need help? How will OP cope?
What if her dd goes ahead with termination? There would be no baby to fill that void OP has. What would OP do then?

That is what I meant with my statement.

Lucca I didn’t know either, but having googled, I think Summerlove means this.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201705/ring-theory-helps-us-bring-comfort-in%3famp

Presumably your OH would have supported your decisionlemon ,he wasn't the one suffering for months so his choice would have to take second place to the mother who is going through hell.Yes I do know anout this ,I spent 3 months in hospital with it lost one twin at 11 weeks and the other after a pren birth at 32 weeks .I left hospital wearing size 8 jeansthat were falling off me on legs that could hardly hold me up.The MOTHER must be the priority here .Her body ,her choice.Its a horrible situation she's in and her mother cant or shouldn't try to either change her mind or guilt trip her .I wish her well

No Paddy he certainly wouldn’t....and neither would I.