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Am I Embarrassing?

(86 Posts)
Calendargirl Fri 11-Sep-20 13:40:05

Walking to the shops this morning, found myself a few yards behind half a dozen schoolgirls, Year 7. I know this because one of the girls lives down our road, I know her mum, a nice lady. Also know the girl, not closely, but she also knows who I am.
She glanced behind her a few times, obviously saw me and recognised me, but quickly looked away.

Now I’m not stupid. I can well imagine it’s not remotely ‘cool’ to say hello to this ‘old’ neighbour when you’re with your mates, but I find it sad.

I know times have changed, but I would always have spoken to people I knew when I was that age. I think my own children would have, not sure about the grandchildren!

Another boy, 13, the son of a friend, pointedly had his eyes cast down to the ground when he saw me one day, on his own, no mates with him.

I don’t expect a full blown conversation, just a simple “Hi” would do.

I think their parents would be surprised at this behaviour, as of course if with Mum and Dad, they act slightly differently.

Is it just me?

Calendargirl Mon 14-Sep-20 08:19:36

I do appreciate all your comments and viewpoints, and totally ‘get’ where you are all coming from, that being a teenager can be an awkward, shy, uncomfortable time.

Having said that, and not wanting to harp on about years ago, but I started work at 16 in a local bank, and left the safe environment of school for the adult world, where you were expected to communicate with customers and (often) older colleagues in a professional, courteous, grown up manner.

So when we are saying that they grow out of this shyness etc. when they are possibly no longer teenagers, some of us had to do it a bit sooner maybe, back then.

But as I said in my OP, times have changed,

juneski Mon 14-Sep-20 08:05:42

No you are not embarrassing, most teenagers feel a bit awkward? You might have got a different reaction if you'd said hi? I was walking around my local park/wood yesterday and there were 2 teenage boys sitting to the side of the path on the grass smoking and looking at their phones. A lot of people were walking by looking down their noses at them. I walked past and said a cheery "Hi boys" they looked up and beamed and said "Hi" back very politely. Works both ways, I think.

willa45 Mon 14-Sep-20 00:31:39

I often cringe over things I did during my own teenage years!

Even as I write, I remember passing an old boyfriend's mum on the way to church and looking the other way as if I didn't know who she was.
Most young people are insecure and socially awkward around adults....Eventually they become more friendly. I wouldn't take anything personally.

Karen22 Sun 13-Sep-20 20:14:39

I'm afraid us adults are just not cool enough ?.
My son grunted all through his teenage years, at 21 he changed into a wonderful human being ?

Calendargirl Sun 13-Sep-20 19:52:01

Mooney59

Yes ? and judging by nickname being not acknowledged would upset you

?‍♀️

Cosmo14 Sun 13-Sep-20 19:10:06

2 of my 3 sons went to the same school I taught at and was head of year. They told everyone I was their aunt who they didn't really like but got a lift to school with ! Hey ho

NoddingGanGan Sun 13-Sep-20 18:58:20

I think teenagers have changed. I went through my teens in the 70s and was as "hip" and trendy as the next kid, or liked to thunk I was, but we had a lovely elderly neighbour who must have been in his eighties then so born at the end of the 19th century. He always wore a hat, trilby in the winter and a panama in the summer. He used to tip it to my mother and to my much older sister if he passed them in the street. The first time he did so to me, I must have been about 14 or 15 I think, I was secretly delighted!

Sarnia Sun 13-Sep-20 18:17:51

Times have changed and not necessarily for the better. I doubt their parents get a 'Hi' from them either.

Mooney59 Sun 13-Sep-20 18:05:20

Yes ? and judging by nickname being not acknowledged would upset you

VeeScott Sun 13-Sep-20 16:16:41

Perhaps if you said Hi she might have answered back. It goes both ways just like telephone calls. I am 73 and I have never understood this thing about "respecting your elders". Perhaps elders should show the way.

Blinko Sun 13-Sep-20 16:00:56

At the other end of the age spectrum, some time ago I was looking after GS2 one day , giving him a lift in my car. He was four. He said, 'I love this car, Grandma. When I'm older I'll have one'.

I can just see him as a strapping youth wanting a car like his Grandma had... or not!

JLauren Sun 13-Sep-20 15:46:55

Maybe the girl and her friends were planning to skip school and she was afraid she was already caught smile Probably much more about her than you.

Joesoap Sun 13-Sep-20 14:33:00

I can relate to the youngsters, I was painfully shy when I was young, event before teenage but once I started at Nursing School everything changed, now you cant keep me quiet.

Tabbycat Sun 13-Sep-20 14:22:32

Parents - if you don't embarass your children - you ain't doing it right!
wink

SparklyGrandma Sun 13-Sep-20 14:13:21

Teenagers. They’ll start talking normally again around age 18+ and say hello normally from them.

moggie57 Sun 13-Sep-20 14:08:04

you think thats strange .my daughter didnt say hello to me outside church(not recent) and then she totally ignored me on the bus the other day. till i poked my grandaughter who then said mummy that lady poked me. maybe she didnt recognise me with my mask on.i said girls name ,.oh its nanny !!!!! grandson stifled a giggle.... my daughter didnt even glance at me.so i said so you dont say hello to your mum now ,oh she said i didnt see you....(maybe i turned into an alien)!!

Ph1lomena Sun 13-Sep-20 14:03:16

I can remember doing this sort of thing at that age and I'm 61 now - nothing at all to do with "the current generation" but more to do with the teenage years. They'll grow out of it.

Sadgrandma Sun 13-Sep-20 13:56:35

Thank you Sodapop, no there are no health problems, I think he speaks OK to his other grandma and cousins but he doesn't really say much to our daughter either. No he doesn't communicate other ways either. I feel it's sad for my husband.

KnittyNannie Sun 13-Sep-20 13:45:49

We are legal guardians to two of our grandsons, so they live with us. One day last week, we were out when school came out - and the 15 year old tried to walk past us! It was obvious that he’d seen us. Kids!!!

sodapop Sun 13-Sep-20 13:25:35

Oh dear, that is hard sadgrandma I am assuming there are no health reasons why your grandson does not speak to you. It must be very hurtful especially when his father treats it so lightly. Does he communicate in other ways ? Email, Whatsapp etc .

Sadgrandma Sun 13-Sep-20 12:59:20

My husband's grandson who is now 17 has never spoken a word to either of us ever since he was little. He lives a long way away so we don't see him very often and his mum and dad are not together so he visits with his dad when they do come. His dad just laughs it off but I think the boy should have been encouraged to speak, especially when he was younger. Sadly I now don't try to talk to him much as it only embarrasses us both.

Starblaze Sun 13-Sep-20 12:51:29

My passing AC just told me that it's fine to say cool. Just only in a neutral tone and saying "Cool!!!" is embarrassing.

So there we have it lol

Starblaze Sun 13-Sep-20 12:48:29

You aren't embarrassing, he is embarrassed.

Not the same thing.

Just the whole teenage, must look coll in front of the friends thing... Normal

Also, I'm sure my teenagers and AC would be embarrassed because I just said "cool" lol

Don't take it personally

BlueSky Sun 13-Sep-20 12:47:39

Jenpax I used to be painfully shy and while I'm not shy now, I don't enjoy chit chat and when we meet acquaintances DH does all the talking. Therefore I've got a reputation for being quiet if not rude!

Notright Sun 13-Sep-20 12:40:42

Have you tried saying Hi to them as you pass. I had a great conversation with a small group of teenage boys just by saying Hi. and a small comment. You lot look happy this morning but carry on walking.