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Feel like an old fogey.

(57 Posts)
felice Tue 13-Oct-20 10:46:31

I am a member of a Ladies group here which has over 2000 members.
Over the last few months I and others have had to point out to people the rules regarding Covid here.
One young woman wanted to go to the coast for the day and invited 3 others to join her, myself and another Woman pointed out that that is impossible and quite foolhardy.
Yesterday a Woman posted that she wanted to go Trick or Treating with her 8 year old son, she had flour and water bombs ready and does anyone want to join her!!!
I told her it is not tradition here, and at the moment definately a big no no.
Also that throwing stuff at people in a Country which has had serious terrorist attacks could get her arrested.
She says if she get a small fine for causing disruption that is not a problem to her. What a great example to her Son.
Others have also pointed out that she cannot go round ringing peoples doors just now, anyway the Belgians are not into that.
Schools are having class parties, and possibly families too.
Now I feel like the Grinch 'old Lady spoiling the Childrens fun'.
This lady has been here 1 year me 25.
Am I wrong in saying anything or should I just have let her get arrested??????

moggie57 Sun 18-Oct-20 14:32:44

i wouldnt want my child to go round begging for treats .our family dont celebrate halloween at all. if you dont want to join in .leave a polite notice outside saying so. saying that back in 1999 i let my daughter go trick and treating in florida ,her one time ever. (sexy witch). halloween in the usa is totally different from in the uk. we batten down the hatches round here ,broken windows/fireworks let off by stupid youths holding the rockets /eggs down the windows.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 18-Oct-20 14:17:57

Well I’m in the U.K. and I think it’s going to be spot the pumpkin so I will be putting one in our window the children will be walking round with their families and every time they spot one they will be given a treat from whoever is going out with them, they won’t be knocking on doors this year

M0nica Sun 18-Oct-20 00:50:39

I doubt whether all the celtic and nordic religious festivals that everyone gets so excited about were the first ones. They probably replaced previous religious beliefs and festivals. While all religions (including Christianity) tend to have festivals round the solstices, no one knows which was the first one - and does it matter?

FauxGrandma Fri 16-Oct-20 18:03:06

Nice one, Houndi! :-D

Alexa Thu 15-Oct-20 10:14:40

BTW, the tradition of candles placed inside turnip or pumpkin lanterns is a remnant of the practice of surrounding the sacred place or home with empty skulls with torches inside, mounted on fences and barricades to guard against hostile forces supernatural or human.

Alexa Thu 15-Oct-20 10:10:38

The ancient feeling of Samhain barely survives. Xianity tried to dumb it down with dead saints , and then American tricks and treats killed off the Xian feelings.
I suppose there is no need for Samhain any more now that Europeans seldom earn their livings as seasonal cattle herders.

felice Thu 15-Oct-20 09:26:47

I said I was living in Belgium in the OP.
The Ladies group is very active online, even before Covid, lots of Zoom meet ups, etc.
The full name is The Brussels Ladies Meet Up Network. We organise our own meet ups, for instance for 3 years pre-covid, I organised a Pub Quiz team, there are lots of activites weekly, Book groups etc, online now of course.
The first ever meet-up was a lunch held here in my home, just 30 people then.
I went guising as a child in Scotland, and it was sometimes combined with 'penny for the Guy'.
I have even been asked here in Belgium why we don't have Guy Fawkes night, umm quick explanation of the fact we are living in a different Country.
I will be keeping an eye on the local news on Halloween and will keep you posted.

LadyHonoriaDedlock Wed 14-Oct-20 19:32:28

There's always been Hallowe'en in my family, and where I was at school on the Wirral. It meant doing fun things with apples with your hands tied up – ducking for them in a bowl of water with a fork held in your mouth, or bobbing for them as they dangle from a string. Oh, and turnip lanterns, which were smaller and harder work than pumpkins but somehow more satisfying. There was a Canadian family nearby and I remember going there for Hallowe'en and making taffy, a north American confection that involves stretching a sugar and glyceribe mixture over and over (so a bit like seaside rock only not hard. I enjoyed that, you got the sweeties in the end but you had to work hard for them.

In Scotland the tradition of guising at Samhain remains – children dress up (using imagination and materials found around the home, not mass-produced plastic in orange and black) – and went from house/farm to house/farm looking for goodies – not necessarily big-name sweeties but tablet, cake or fruit. That tradition goes back much further than American trick or treat; Scotland never let it go and England is just reimporting it – restoring to its original date the tradition that had been shifted for political reasons to 5 November.

There were fires at Samhain too, I understand, but not from any love for James VII and for a lot longer. Samhain, Hallowe'en and Bonfire night are the same thing really; a harvest festival.

Esspee Wed 14-Oct-20 18:54:48

Halloween originated in the Celtic festival of Samhain. Both Scotland and Ireland have a long history of celebrating Samhain with children having to entertain to receive a reward.
I have no idea why this celebration mutated in the USA to trick or treat, with the implied threat, but this bastardisation of tradition made it’s way back to the U.K. in recent years and has unfortunately supplanted our tradition.

Huitson1958 Wed 14-Oct-20 18:34:09

Felice... perhaps you should have started this post by explaining where you live and that this is not part of your countries culture ? That would have stopped people thinking you’re just a moaning Minnie ?

Sloegin Wed 14-Oct-20 18:02:35

Jillybird, This modern version of Halloween does seem to be an American import but Halloween has always been celebrated in Ireland- All Hallow's Eve. As a child in N.ireland in the 1950s we did apple dunking, had traditional Halloween foods,boxty, barn brack and apple tarts with charms in. In the countryside young men did go out and about playing tricks on neighbours and we had fireworks. No doubt the tradition went to America from Ireland and Scotland, they 'modernised ' it to trick n'treating and we imported it back.

Flakesdayout Wed 14-Oct-20 17:58:06

I would be throughly p'd off if someone flour and water bombed my house.

kwest Wed 14-Oct-20 17:45:30

You did the right thing in pointing out what she was proposing to do was wrong. I would take no further action.

Aepgirl Wed 14-Oct-20 17:13:16

Exactly Whingingmum.

M0nica Wed 14-Oct-20 14:41:12

Many years ago I worked for a firm who sent people overseas and usually sent them on a course to learn about the country and its culture before they went. One posting was a disaster and in the post mortem someone said 'but he had done the course', to which another manager replied you could brief X on the culture of another country 24 hours a day for a month and he would still be none the wiser

Felice this sounds like the young woman you describe. Leave her and let her learn the hard way, when someone flour-bombed calls the police and she spends an uncomfortable 24 hours in the custody of the anti-terrorism police. It will be no less than she will have earned - and she might, just might, learn something.

Farmor15 Wed 14-Oct-20 13:31:06

I'm in Ireland and Halloween has a long tradition here, but recently taken over by the American version. When I was a child, we dressed up and called on neighbours saying "Help the halloween party". We would be given fruit or nuts, occasionally money but not usually sweets. Then we would go home and play games like bobbing for apples and eat halloween brack - a kind of fruit bread - with a ring in it. Whoever go the ring was supposed to be married within the year!

In recent years, where I live, groups of children go around with their parents and call on people they know. They're often invited in, children given some sweets (these days they wouldn't thank you for fruit or nuts!). The adults might even be offered a glass of wine, and it's very sociable. However, this year that won't be happening, but I'm trying to think of some outdoor fun to entertain neighbours children - maybe a spooky treasure hunt.

Back to OP - definitely don't feel like a Grinch!

00mam00 Wed 14-Oct-20 13:25:55

Flour bombs are a complete no no. My mother had one thrown at her on bonfire night and it ruined her skirt, she was never able to wash out the stain Properly.

JenJenT Wed 14-Oct-20 13:23:37

It doesn’t exactly put us Brits in a good light with the Belgian host community does it? I think you are quite right to express forcefully the stupidity of her ideas. Most of Europe does not celebrate Halloween in the way the UK has imported from the US and would likely be very offended by this kind of behaviour, even without Covid. Maybe point out that she and her child, not to mention the rest of you expats will have to live with the fallout from her “little bit of fun” long after this one evening of stupidity is over. You are in their country and have to act accordingly.
Regarding tactful compromises in the light of Covid restrictions, what is wrong with setting up a Zoom group (I even know people in their late 80s who use Zoom regularly) and have virtual social gatherings, quiz nights and the like? Get creative and constructive

Llamedos13 Wed 14-Oct-20 12:56:14

I’ve never heard of a tradition of throwing flour bombs,certainly not here in Canada. It’s always lots of fun for the kids to go trick or treating just not this year ?

Cp43 Wed 14-Oct-20 12:11:22

Let her get on with it. She sounds quite selfish so steer clear of her.

Coco51 Wed 14-Oct-20 12:08:32

I think for any action to be taken the said behaviour would have to be witnessed. Preferably by more than one person who can testify that the woman knew that what she was doing was wrong/criminal damage

ReadyMeals Wed 14-Oct-20 11:48:46

If I heard anyone planning to throw flour paste on other people's property I'd have something to say no matter which country it was. Always some vandals looking for excuses.

Nannapat1 Wed 14-Oct-20 11:45:55

Here Halloween is great fun with local children beautifully costumed calling for treats, the younger ones accompanied by their parents. Not sure what will happen this year. I've thought about putting some treats on a table in the front drive so no one has to get too close. No one throws flour or water bombs, or eggs, not acceptable in my book.

Violet6 Wed 14-Oct-20 11:44:59

There’s good and bad in all countries.

SuRu Wed 14-Oct-20 11:38:04

Jillybird, Hallowe’en is actually Irish. It was a festival on the eve of All Saints. Irish Christianity still has a lot of Pagan influences and the dead were believed to be allowed to walk on this night. I think the dressing up as ghosts etc was to scare the spirits away. Irish emigrants took the tradition to America which started the Trick & Treat practice. Pumpkins were unknown in Ireland when I was little. We used turnips (swedes) to make lanterns.