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Being patronising or maybe not ?

(218 Posts)
nanna8 Thu 04-Feb-21 10:28:39

I was having a chat with a few friends today about whether they objected to being called ‘dear’, ‘sweetie’, ‘hun’ or such by strangers . Mixed thoughts on this. Personally if anyone calls me ‘hun’ I feel like slapping them but that is just me.

Lesley60 Sun 07-Feb-21 04:25:58

You are not alone,I hate being called all these terms by strangers or anyone younger than me.
I told someone off on the phone once who was trying to sell me something who continued to call me love, I don’t know where this obsession to call everyone hun has come from either i feel like screaming when some young girl calls me hun when I’m old enough to be her grandmother ??

nanna8 Sun 07-Feb-21 06:09:10

GrannyRose15

nanna8

First name use is also cultural. Everyone uses first names here most of the time, strangers or not. Very few use surnames at all and no one thinks anything of it. It is considered friendly. When we first came here nearly 50 years ago now, I was taken aback and thought it over familiar but it is amazing how quickly you adjust.

Where's here?

Australia- I still give a double take when it is someone at the bank or the chemist I must say. I don't mind if they know me, even slightly, of course.

nanna8 Sun 07-Feb-21 06:10:09

Hun is the very worst. I feel like saying I don't have German heritage.

GrauntyHelen Sun 07-Feb-21 08:42:09

All of these sickly endearments annoy me and I have been known to tell folk I'm not their love or darling

Shropshirelass Sun 07-Feb-21 09:21:20

I don’t like these terms either! I have a name and prefer that to be used. My DH calls me Love or Lover and it drives me mad, I absolutely hate it but know if I say anything he will sulk!!! He has PTSD and little things become huge mountains of worry so have to bite my tongue!

Florida12 Sun 07-Feb-21 11:26:28

Doesn’t bother me, “alright love” or “alright cock” was common place in Manchester where I grew up. It was a term of endearment.

i don’t get easily riled over many things these days

jenpax Sun 07-Feb-21 15:36:43

I dont object to any of these although I have never heard of chavvi or bor, where do these come from??

jenpax Sun 07-Feb-21 15:42:35

GrannieRose15 I was brought up to introduce myself by first name and surname and I never introduce myself as Mrs ...

CR39 Sun 07-Feb-21 15:42:58

Being a northerner most people in shops particularly say ‘hello love’ or ‘thanks love ‘. I ‘love it!

Rubred1515 Sun 07-Feb-21 18:17:26

Not a fan of being called you guys

GrannyRose15 Sun 07-Feb-21 18:25:59

jenpax

GrannieRose15 I was brought up to introduce myself by first name and surname and I never introduce myself as Mrs ...

No neither did I, until it became clear that if I gave my first name every Tom, Dick and Harry would use it.

janeainsworth Sun 07-Feb-21 20:55:04

This popped up as a Facebook ‘memory’ today, from 3 years ago.

“I rock up for a routine blood test to be greeted by the HCA with the words ‘so we’ve come for our blood test, have we?’
Wish I’d had the presence of mind to ask her if she wanted to address me, to use the 2nd person singular ??”

grannyrebel7 Sun 07-Feb-21 22:53:56

I hate being called 'love' or 'dear'. I find it really patronising. I don't mind 'darling' or 'guys' or 'girls' if I'm with friends.

villababe Mon 08-Feb-21 16:43:55

I don't mind it usually, apart from when my mother calls me 'dear', she actually gives it an inflection that makes it sound like the rudest swear word. That winds me up. In general terms I'm fine with it. Depends on the tone its used in

Yorki Wed 10-Feb-21 03:58:34

I'm a Yorkshire Lass, and I love all the friendly names I get called. The Mrs / Madams or whatever are far too stuffy for me.

Nana3 Wed 10-Feb-21 04:05:44

I don't hear many people using these 'friendly terms' , maybe it's just me ?

effalump Thu 11-Feb-21 12:35:30

It doesn't bother me at all. The only thing I hate, and it's my beautiful niece that does it, is when I say certain things, she says "Aw bless". It makes me feel like I'm in my 90's.