To see ourselves as others see us! How do you think others see you?

I have no idea how others see me, and I’m not sure I want to know! I try to be nice to everybody, but I am basically quite judgemental. I am not sociable, loathe parties and so on. This is not shyness, but boredom. I am fairly confident, but have no idea whether that comes across or not.

I am kind and non judgmental. I have a confident streak but a difficult childhood has made me anxious and I think I may come across as diffident. I have a few good friends who see me but I often feel invisible and I attract people who want to unload their problems. I imagine they think I'm a good listener, which I am, but I have my limits.

I am often asked to take leadership roles which is a bit of a joke because I used to be so shy I would blush all the time and never speak out. These days I actually enjoy public speaking and making people laugh. People tell me their problems all the time, I don’t really know why though I used to be a counsellor at one time so maybe old habits die hard?

Urmstongran
Your mention of queue jumping
I actually spoke up for someone else the other day.
I was in a queue and was aware of the lady behind me. She was keeping her distance. Before you know it someone filled the space between us.
She stood there looking a bit sheepish so I said to her you were in that place weren’t you Queue jumper looked at me and she got ‘the look’. The lady resumed her place in the queue. ?

Good on you Meryl. It’s only recently I feel able to speak out although I avoid arguments.

It’s interesting that so many of us hide our real selves from public view and project an image that isn’t the real us. I metaphorically put my hat on in social circumstances and do the ‘right thing’. I find socialising in large groups rather intimidating so generally avoid if possible. Most people have little idea how much it isn’t me.

Everyone tells me stoic I am, (coping with numerous long term illnesses), and how amazingly caring I am. They also always say how active and well turned out I always am. That's because I never leave the house without making an effort, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My late Mum before me was the same. Thing is - people don't see me on the 'not so good' days!!

I wrote a novel about a 34 stone woman whose inner slim self becomes magically released. People love it because they can identify with having a slim person inside.
As for the way folk see me: I hear nice things but have no idea what 'they' say behind my back. I like to think that, above all, I'm kind. I believe that two wrongs don't make a right, so I'm still kind even when maybe I don't want to be!
Book is called: Dying To Be Slim. Not trying to do a sales pitch but thought some GNers might ask.

Confident, loud, fun, loyal and honest sometimes too honest! I have been told and pretty much that is how l see myself.

Just been on the phone to M&S store and website and I could easily be described as Mrs Grumpy now.

I believe I am seen as short, fat, doddery and old - I see myself as a lithe 30 something with lovely flowing locks - such a shock when I pass a mirror!!

Talkative, very. Still think I am attractive, Loyal - two way street, I have many friends who are extremely long term and close, even back to early childhood. Able to go to to moan, let of steam etc. Creative. Outgoing. Sometimes kind, sometimes pithy. Flaky but warm. Sting in my tail. Funny and fun. Tough. Don't suffer fools gladly.

In the words of Robbie Burns 'Oh would some Power give us the gift, To see ourselves as others see us'. I think most of us would be horrified if we did have that gift.. I think many of us have sides that no-one sees except ourselves. I imagine people see me as outgoing and confident. But in reality I worry about what people think of me, and I often analyse what I have said to friends in case I have inadvertently said something which has upset them.

I have a good sense of humour people see me as kind and considerate and have difficulty in saying no to helping people, therefore am played on at times, I know. I am a bit bossy, obstinate, have a good deal self confidence, but at certain times lack this.I am a born worrier and age hasnt improved this, I am awake at night thinking things over and worrying about things I cant do anything about. I wonder what people realy think about me, best not to know!

Maine52..... I think yuv just described me.... ???... But i dont take it personally anymore... I just think... Yu know what... Thats theyre problem....

I love that poem 'To a Louse' by Robert Burns where this quote originates. I've been many incarnations and have found that how I dress or appear always colours others opinions of me, and yet inside I'm just the same. I think it has some weight to it. Our church leader told the story of when a homeless person with ragged clothes walked into his church and he was immediately ejected for being too shabby.
I try to look for the person inside. In the words of the late singer-songwriter Gerry Rafferty: 'Whatever's written in your heart, that's all that matters. We'll find a way to say it all some day.'

i see myself as kind and caring, i will help anyone even strangers but not bother to look after myself. i have had cancer twice in 3 years last one was back in september (vulvar cancer) and choose to have all my lymph nodes in my groin removed not knowing if they were cancerous, my mum said she was so proud of me, others said i was so brave to put myself through this....me i just thought it was something i had to do, the first time everyone was crying and worrying....me no choice, doctor gave me 6 months without operation, people see the outside me but the real me was so scared but put a smile on my face, this last one was harder as i lost my partner a week after i was told i had cancer, he was already dying so i had nobody to talk to. some people see me as stand-offish but thats because i am shy and quiet till i start talking. i don't think anybody even a partner/husband really knows what is deep inside another person as we learn as we get older to put the right front on.

My daughter has told me that I can be seen as scary (which upset me a bit). I know I dig my heels in if I know I'm right about something which has caused problems in the past. Interestingly, I watched the Paddy McGuiness programme last night about autism where his wife discovered that she, as well as their three children, has autism. Bells rang for me with what she was saying so I hunted down and did the test afterwards and got the same score as she did. I wonder if this explains why I've always struggled to make and keep friends? Do people see me so differently to how I see myself? Who knows!

Very interesting reading all your comments. I have always been seen as a shoulder to cry on, a leader, confident and well versed!! What I see is a not very confident person hiding behind my.personal brick wall so that no-one can see my insecurities!! Am really quite shy, love talking to people - if they make the first move - but, because of my late husband's occupation, had to put my 'brave' face on to entertain others and make them feel comfortable. Since becoming a widow I have had to learn to leave the brick wall behind!

I see myself as a complete mess, physically and emotionally, and suspect others do too.

I think people who know me well see me as reliable and straight talking, practical and sensible, but rather over cautious, a bit pedantic and possibly annoying because I fuss and nag a bit. The neighbours probably think I'm a bit unfriendly and rather weird.

I’m seen as stoical, efficient and a bit Miss Moneypenny. Until my 40s I was a bit of a doormat who did everything asked of me! Then I became assertive and learnt to say ‘no’ to stuff I didn’t really want to do! In real life I’m 5 feet two and a half inches tall, overweight and apparently have a young face. In fact someone recognised me at a reunion do this week. They hadn’t seen me for 40 years but said my face was the same!

I don’t give a monkey nut for others views on me. I don’t interfere with other peoples lives and don’t appreciate interference from others.

I would rather hide behind the sofa than answer this one.

Luckygirl3

People see me as competent and coping well after bereavement last year - it is all a front - inside, grief stalks my every waking moment. But what is the point in inflicting that on others? - so the act continues..........

Luckygirl13 I'm sorry it's been such a bad year for you. As for acting, I was once 'told act as if' and eventually you will no longer be acting as it will become your reality. Hope that eventually you will find a way to live with the grief.

I’ve always wondered if others see me as a bit odd and that has plagued me all my life. A colleague once described me as quirky when we were having a similar conversation, I guessed that was a kind way of saying odd. I certainly wouldn’t dare ask for an honest opinion. I have a friend who revels in being different but I just yearn to be one of the gang!