Children are quick. Comical sayings of children.

A 6 year old child in my class was writing her monday morning news about what she did at the weekend.
She came to me for a spelling.
The spelling was sex!
With trepidation I asked her what she had been doing. She replied," I was looking for insects in the garden with daddy but know how to spell in. "

I read a lovely one the other day, mother was listening to her six year old daughter talking to four old brother who was crying. 'It's all right to be sad' six year old said, 'sometimes things happen to make us unhappy'. Mother was very impressed by the girls' kindness and sensitivity asked 'Why was he crying?' Reply 'Because I hit him'.

Genuine answer from a 16 year old in a GCSE exam:

What can a hotel do to reduce their carbon footprint?
Tell people to take their shoes off.

I was his scribe and invigilator and had to write it down without sniggering.

When my grandson was quite young my daughter asked him if she could have a kiss - he said ‘no’. She asked him why not and he replied ‘because I haven’t got any kisses left in my mouth’😊

I spent a few days teaching a group of children the concept of symmetry, offering various visual and practical examples. I finally asked the children to produce a picture that illustrated symmetry. I came to one boy, whose picture I didn’t ‘ get ‘, and asked him what it was. He said, “ That’s the gravestones because it’s a cemetery.” My efforts had been wasted on him.

I asked my 2 GS if they had a good swim with Mummy. No came the eldest reply “ mummy made us go in the ladies changing room, so we saw lots of boobs but luckily we didn’t see any vagina’s “.
Playing a word game, DD had to write a flower beginning with C and she wrote “chew lip” 🤣. When trying on new shoes, she told the assistant that they were too small she couldn’t get her “elbow” in. 🤣

I remember being in the science class at secondary school 60 years or mor ago. The teacher produced a piece of scientific equipment and said "who can tell me what this is?" I immediately put up my hand and said "Its a what-not for a wig-wam sir". The whole room went quiet and then suddenly roared with laughter. Teacher was not amused though and I was sent to visit the headmaster. How times have changed.

Weather a bit unsettled,we were going to have lunch, ? In or out? Said to my husband' eat al fresco '?
Granddaughter aged 4 ' Oh yes please- I love al frescoes'!!

Harris27

I remember reading the three little pigs to my 3/4 year olds . A small boy was really into it when I got to the bit when he huffed and puffed and blew the house down he looked up and said’ the b*****d I couldn’t move and kept calm and carried on the rest of the staff were in hysterics! I still can’t read it without remembering this! The

I have no idea how you didn't collapse at that one, I still can't stop laughing.

missdeke

Harris27

I remember reading the three little pigs to my 3/4 year olds . A small boy was really into it when I got to the bit when he huffed and puffed and blew the house down he looked up and said’ the b*****d I couldn’t move and kept calm and carried on the rest of the staff were in hysterics! I still can’t read it without remembering this! The

I have no idea how you didn't collapse at that one, I still can't stop laughing.

me too, wonderfull for a grey day!

My fifty-plus daughter developed a horror of dead things when she was circa three and used to question - in ringing tones - if the meat on her plate was alive or dead . . ."is this beef bugger still alive".

I learned never to look at other adults. . .

Dd when about 3 and staying with Grandma. Mum was getting dressed and went to put on her girdle(pull on). “Grandma you won’t get all that in there.”

Gdd1, still just under 3 IIRC, asked by one of the nursery staff what she was doing in the play kitchen.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂

I was a welfare helper at local school for a while.
Teacher - "who can tell me what a revolution is?"
Child - It's a thing you make after Christmas
Me - exit classroom before teacher and I laugh out loud!
Also, before Christmas my daughter asked me how to spell roulade. In the staffroom later I was greeted with " it could only have been your daughter!" Apparently, she had gone to the teacher and insisted the crossword she'd been given was wrong since "roulade" was definitely "what you have after Christmas pudding!"

I don't remember the occasion myself, but family history records that when I, at the age of two, was reproved by one of my grandmothers for not saying please when asking for something, replied, "Sorry, Grandma, they are in short supply!"

Tells you something about my date of birth, doesn't it?

Years later when teaching a class of fifteen year olds R.I. we were discussing the principal differences between being a Sunni or a Shi'ia Muslim, amongst which I mentioned that Sunnis are supposed to pray five times a day, whereas Shi'as pray three times.

A pupil turned to the only Muslim in the class and said, "Which are you?"

His friend considered for a second then replied, "I have never counted how often my mum prays every day."

Dinner! The correct answer (for the crossword - but not for my daughter) was pudding!

There was a toy that everyone wanted when my son was little - part of the He Man range, called Sucking Leech Man.
On a visit to the Grotto in response to Santa's question, he asked for one but slightly mis pronounced the first word so it sounded like it was spelt with a F instead of an S.
Cue a silent Santa who looked at me as though I was a terrible parent!

This was my son when he was six. He'd fallen in the school playground. When he came home he took off his trousers to look at his grazed knee. "Wow" he said "If I'd known it was that bad I'd have cried". Bless him, he's 43 now.

I was telling my granddaughter that when papa and I got married 51 years ago, we had no television, no car, no washing machine and toilet was out on landing. Lucy looked at me, a few minutes later she said Gran in the Roman times, that made me laugh, I suppose to her it all sounded alien

We spent 3 years in Hong Kong when my girls were toddlers. When we flew home my 4 yr old was looking expectantly out of the window as the plane went up through the cloud layer. I asked her what she was looking for and she said “I can’t see Jesus. Where is he?”

Just a little different - my little daughter was beginning her 'big toilet' use. Sitting 'on the throne' one day, legs swinging and singing to herself - suddenly one the words she formed was repeated over and over - the word was 'bugger'!! No-one at home used swear words so it was an accidental 'find'. Unfortunately it pleased her for an uncomfortable length of time as she seemed to like the sound so continued to sing it ad infinitum!!!

I knew a mum who bought her son a child’s boiler suit to play in. His sister was really upset because she couldn’t have a girler suit.

My 3-year old grandson, on death and beyond...
"I don't want to go to heaven."
"Why not?"
"Because I might fall through the clouds."

Su12

When my grandson was quite young my daughter asked him if she could have a kiss - he said ‘no’. She asked him why not and he replied ‘because I haven’t got any kisses left in my mouth’😊

That reminded me of a dd - now in her 40s - but 3 at the time. We were in the car with my folks and she chattered absolutely non-stop.

Eventually my amused mother said to her, ‘Where do you get all your talking from?’
Dd thought for a moment before replying, ‘From my mouf!’
Dd

Many years ago my granddaughter answered the door to someone. They asked is your Dad around? She said yes but he's multi tasking? My daughter-in-law and I looked at each other. Then she continues, he's sitting on the toilet , talking on the phone!