Is this the norm now?

Bit mercenary, but better than all those rubbish soft toys people seem compelled to buy ?

I must say, I've never heard of this but it does seem as though the parents want to see who's give what.......a bit cheeky in my opinion. I'd be tempted to buy a gift card, yes I know the value would be evident, and I don't think you can go far wrong with Boots, they have just about everything for babies, clothes toys gadgets etc.
I definitely would not be adding my name to anyone's bank statement.

Seems a reasonable idea to me much better than the child receiving things they do not need
I would confirm the message was from your nephew ie not via what’s app or the like where scams can occur

Well it appears to be the norm for this couple so expect to receive the same every year for each birthday and each Christmas.

how cheeky of your niece! no to the party and no gift would be for me.

Seems to be the answer to the question what to give when someone has everything - money! I would think that deposits from parents/grandparents would suffice. Personally I would not bother. I have never heard of request for bank deposits, except for weddings.

I think it is rather rude for a first birthday party. If you buy an item of clothes or a couple of board books it would cost £10-15 which is plenty. It does say if you wish to gift money , so maybe just buy a small suitable present and give with a gift receipt ( M and S) so it can be changed if surplus to requirements. Enjoy the get together

They are very cheeky in my opinion considering you have very little contact with the family,I would enclose a gift card within the Christening card, Next gift cards always go down well as you can put them towards clothing/toys/nursery goods etc.

I have no idea whether this is the norm, but much as I personally dislike the idea of giving money, I think I would deposit the amount I had considered using for a present into the child's account.

I see no reason why you should comply with the parents' request to add your name.

If you want to continue seeing your nephew or niece and their child then I don't really think you have any option.

I imagine the child will at some point get tired of not being given "a real present" - her parents may think money is fine, I doubt she aged five or six will.

I’ve come across this on wedding invitations and it makes me cringe. I’ve not heard of it for children’s birthday parties but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

MeowWow you said you’ve only seen the baby once in the year since birth. So, I’m wondering why they’ve invited you to the party when they would normally have little to do with you. I can’t help being cynical and thinking it’s in the hope of a financial contribution.

I do think it is a bit crass tbh, but I know that some distant relatives used to gift me money as a child (in Guineas in those days) it was squirrelled away over the years and amounted to quite a lot of money when my parents let me have it at 21.

Money again in Guineas was gifted when I got married, although we didn’t ask for money.

We did the same for our children and my DD is doing the same for hers. They don’t know about it so will be a nice surprise when they eventually received it.

Of course distant relatives used to be more involved with families I think.

In those circumstances I wouldn’t send money. If you feel you want to send or take something something then how about a book token.

wow- that would be right off!

I think that you have been invited in the hope that you will give money. This happened to me. My great niece turned 18 and I was invited to the party despite not even having even a Christmas card for at least 10 years from her mother. In fact the last time I heard from my niece was at my sister's funeral 6 years ago. The invite came via Facebook with a message stating that money would be appreciated. I declined the invite of course!

I always do this with children, put money direct into their savings account with my name "Love Auntie VioletSky".

Seems completely normal to me to do this rather than give cash or overwhelm with gifts that aren't needed/wanted

Seemed to be the norm these days , usually for weddings. If it's a one off for the baby's 1st birthday , something they will save till she is older I can just about accept that. However if it happens on a regular basis it would be a definate NO from me.

I do this for my family as well. Because I live in another country its easier. Of course my grandchildren are all grown up now.

I give my niece and nephew money by bank transfer and write a message in their card telling them to check their bank balance. I always get a thank you phone call straight away.

At Christmas when we spend time together, I give them a small, token present as well. Last year I went off piste and gave them £50 cash hidden inside the wrapper of a chocolate £50 note! They were delighted and their parents very amused!

I’m not sure though how I would feel if I was not a close part of their lives, I see them most weeks and I was in a Covid bubble with the family. If I rarely heard from the parents, then I might not be inclined to be generous, although sometimes once a child arrives, people do start to want family contacts.

Maybe enough relatives asked and the parents decided to put it in the invite?

Strewth , I’d have a fit if any of my family did that. I always give them things, not so much money but sometimes gift cards. There are a lot of them though, loads of grandchildren, great grandchildren and another coming, costs us a fair bit now. Still, can’t take it with you. Our daughters just get a token gift because they are all middle aged women now. Sometimes I think they take go forth and multiply too far though???

I don't like being told what or how to give - so I'd probably just put a voucher in with the card. Wedding lists are quite bad enough so I'd ignore the (unwanted) advice.

It does seem a bit mercenary. However I have felt for many years that I would rather give someone a gift card or money to make sure they get what they want and can then raise a glass to their crazy aunt ;-) As the children get older, you can do "experiences", depending on how much time/money/health you've got. A trip to the cinema, museum, or a zoo, or a walk on a beach with an ice cream or hot chocolate at the end are much appreciated by children whose parents have little time or inclination for the really simple things. For many years, I've dealt with Christmas by making or buying a little christmassy bag for nephews and nieces, and buying little things through the year from charity shops, or craft shops, or in the sales, which are age appropriate - I make a limit of £20 and sometimes the contents can be well over a hundred pounds if bought carefully. Sometimes I hide a fiver or a few pound coins amongst the bits and pieces. It depends how much cash I've got at the time! Whatever it is, enjoy the giving, however you do it.

I suppose the question I would ask is would you have sent the baby a monetary gift anyway? In which case I'd probably pay that amount into the account, though from their wording a present would be equally welcome.
I don't think not meeting up over the last year is unusual given the restrictions that we've all had. Do you live nearby?

We have great nieces and nephews. I've always sent a token present for birthdays and Christmas. If I don't receive a thank you from their parents, or the child when they're old enough, then after a few occasions I drop them off my list. So some still receive, some don't. And to be honest in recent times I just send for Christmas, not birthdays.

Perhaps you have a very small family?
In ours it would cost a fortune to be giving regular birthday presents to the ‘greats’, in fact after 18 the not so great are knocked off.
If we are going to see them we would take a little gift - there are things available that don’t come under the heading of plastic tat.