Gransnet forums

Christmas

What!!!!

(77 Posts)
sunseeker Thu 13-Dec-18 10:45:58

I have a neighbour who every year sends a group email saying she is not sending Christmas cards but donating to charity instead - fair enough. I bumped into her yesterday and the conversation went:

Neighbour: Oh I thought you must have gone away for Christmas

Me: Why would you think that?

N: Well, I haven't had a Christmas card from you yet this year - I do like to get Christmas cards it makes the house look so cheerful

Me: Yes, me too

Grammaretto Thu 13-Dec-18 20:12:56

My late DM only sent cards when she received them and then bemoaned the fact that she got fewer each year.
They are nice but it does add up if you send to all the people you know.
Having just spent £40 on postage I sympathise..
A nice email with a personal greeting might do.

andycameron69 Thu 13-Dec-18 20:15:34

so shocking....i might have another beer

oldbatty Thu 13-Dec-18 20:18:43

I think you should andy. Hells teeth, literally anything can happen now.

mcem Thu 13-Dec-18 22:54:07

Just like to add that the charity donations idea is agreed between my sister and myself and is not imposed on anyone, not is anyone deprived of a card if they take pleasure in receiving one.
Several posters have previously responded positively when I (or other grans) have mentioned Mary's Meals
so if my comments prompt anyone to help them I 'm prepared to pay the price and be accused of virtue signalling! (A phrase I see as a rather smug cop out!)

Eglantine21 Thu 13-Dec-18 23:02:37

I got an email yesterday that said “As per usual I am donating to charity rather than sending cards,”

It didn’t even say Happy Christmas....l..ll

Urmstongran Fri 14-Dec-18 10:27:48

I suppose you ought to factor in that Christmas card designing and manufacturing does keep some people gainfully employed.

bhadramehta Fri 14-Dec-18 10:54:37

We can always call up or WhatsApp or use a Facebook post to wish everybody...no need for cards...in India most of us have shifted from cards to ecards or social media messages.

MissAdventure Fri 14-Dec-18 10:59:26

I don't even donate to charity instead.
I just can't be bothered with cards.

coast35 Fri 14-Dec-18 11:05:06

I agree with you Chewbacca. I’ve always hated the task of sending Christmas cards. I’m 73 now. How long do I have to wait to do what I want. Happy not to receive and because my only grandchild has Cystic Fibrosis we make a healthy donation to the Cystic Fibrosis Trust.

allsortsofbags Fri 14-Dec-18 11:14:32

Not sending cards is ok if that's how you want to approach the cost of buying and posting but expecting to receive cards is just cheeky.

I don't send many cards as I do put the money into a charity box. The few I do send come from a charity shop.

I'm clear, I do this because - I feel better doing it this way.

I know my family and friends aren't hurting for a card and I know people who work for the charity I support so it's about me feeling that together we put something where it can do a bit of good.

I don't care if I don't get any cards, I like the ones I do get and I'm happy just to get an email or FB message.

It's up to each individual how they approach this Christmas tradition but to have one standard for giving and another for receiving is just rude.

Oh well, nowt do queer as folk.

Urmstongran Fri 14-Dec-18 11:19:53

Someone I know only sends cards to people she won’t be seeing over the festive season. All the others she will be able to say ‘Merry Christmas’ to. Actually it seems a sensible thing to do!

HannahLoisLuke Fri 14-Dec-18 11:21:03

I do both but admit that I've cut down on the number of cards I send. If I haven't heard from somebody for two years running I don't send a card the following year. Then the inevitable happens and I then get a card f on them.

sandelf Fri 14-Dec-18 11:28:37

Sunseeker - Its virtue signalling. There are many who give minimal cards or none and do give to charities regularly - why would you claim to be so poor you only 'give' when you have 'saved' a little on postage etc. I've cut down but that's because I will no longer use the energy I have for choosing, writing and posting things that will all be thrown by January. Some people send me cards, some don't - it's a free world. I don't 'grade' friendship by whether I've had a card.

dirgni Fri 14-Dec-18 11:36:28

When I get an email to say that a person is not sending cards but giving to charity, I feel like asking which charity and how much are you giving! Am I being sceptical?

Saggi Fri 14-Dec-18 11:42:41

Got to be said I’m gradually and stealthily phasing our Christmas cards.... my daughter stopped coupla years ago ...she’s said it wasn’t the price of the cards but the cost of the stamps that floored her...she is on an extremely tight budget all year and Xmas just overwhelms her. I told her not to think twice about it. She buys presents for immediate family , and sticks to a budget with that. I think she’s sensible and refuses to get in debt over Xmas. Roll on when she discovers Secret Santa and passes that one on to us. What a relief!

Grandma70s Fri 14-Dec-18 12:10:27

It would be quite fun to tell everyone you weren’t sending cards because you just couldn’t be bothered. I suspect there’d be a chorus of agreement.

MissAdventure Fri 14-Dec-18 12:25:40

I make no secret of it.
Everybody I know will know that I wish them every good thing life can offer.
I don't need a flimsy card to do that for me.

Riggie Fri 14-Dec-18 12:58:10

Gramdma70s we sort of did do that a few years ago.
I was poorly and the cards needed doing, most of what we sent was to dhs various relations so I asked him to do them....So he decided not to bother.

It was noticed that we hadn't done cards and comments were made via MIL, but it's been liberating!!

oldbatty Fri 14-Dec-18 13:08:21

I hate cards, always have done. Waste of good trees. We have neighbours who send them every year and never acknowledge us when our paths cross.

lesley4357 Fri 14-Dec-18 13:09:12

I haven't sent Christmas cards for 10 years. Waste of time and money. I send £30 to Shelter or Crisis at Christmas which is a much better use of my money. And yes I can prove it!

mabon1 Fri 14-Dec-18 13:51:14

Are you a cynic?

caocao Fri 14-Dec-18 14:47:34

Never mind giving to charity - just say you're doing your bit for the environment - THEN spend the money on gin.
Drunk and virtuous - so much more fun than just being virtuous!

grumppa Fri 14-Dec-18 14:50:26

50-60 years ago there was a fashion for the great and good (i. e. the pretentious) to announce in the Personal Column of the DT or Times that they were not sending Christmas cards but donating to charity. They were suitably mocked by the following announcement:-

"Mr. And Mrs. Frank Muir are pleased to announce that they will be sending Christmas cards this year."

Nanny41 Fri 14-Dec-18 14:55:13

Well having just paid out £17 for stamps for cards sent in the UK, and then today back in Sweden paid the equivelant of £20 here, then the price of the cards, Charity ones, I think I have donated to charity, AND people will have lovely cards, its only once a year.I love writing cards then sending them off, wonderfing how many I will get in return. Non returns go on my black list!
Good Luck everyone.

Legs55 Fri 14-Dec-18 15:11:20

I do send cards & love receiving them, if I didn't get one last year I don't send this yearthlgrin. There are only 2 people that I send to but don't expect one in return, both single men so they get away with itthlhmm

I also put a message on Facebook so that covers every-onethlsmile