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Coronavirus

Travelling to family for Christmas?

(89 Posts)
Mirren Tue 15-Dec-20 10:18:52

We have been very cautious as regards the virus all year, not taking any risks at all . In the summer lull we managed to see all 4 of our children and our little grandchildren but that's it. We managed to see a little more of our daughters in Edinburgh ( not much though) but have only seen our beloved son and his lovely wife and 2 little girls once since January. They live in Berkshire. We live in Northumberland.
As soon as Boris announced the Christmas details we arranged to go to them for Christmas.
We will be terribly careful. No other mixing etc . I don't think I will even dare to visit the loo in motorway services on the journey.
Now the latest news is the rise in the south with a new variant virus.
I am a GP , was retired, now back working during the pandemic so I fully understand the details and the risks.
However, I still don't know what to do. I really don't want to disappoint my son and family. However, with the vaccine being released this week I wonder if we should delay?
What would everyone else do?

Tangerine Tue 15-Dec-20 22:50:09

I would not go in your position.

None of my family will be visiting me.

NotAGran55 Wed 16-Dec-20 07:36:25

Rates are rising rapidly here in all parts of Berkshire , including the west which has always been low .

Please don’t come until next year when hopefully we can all travel safely to see our loved ones .

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 16-Dec-20 09:52:00

We were having the family to stay but that’s not happening now. OH really doesn’t want to be infected just as we’re in sight of the vaccine - we are both in group 5. So on Christmas Eve my son and I will drive up to Kew from Oxfordshire with presents and a packed lunch. We can sit in the communal gardens where elder son, partner and my granddaughter live (hope it’s not raining) and eat our lunch and exchange presents. Our daughter will come from Brixton to Kew and swop presents too. She will then go and stay at one of the Hilton hotels in London for two nights. She recently split from her partner of 7 years and would love to come home, but OH won’t allow it. So after our lunch and a slice of chocolate cake (which I am taking with me) other son and I will drive home and have a peaceful Christmas interspersed with Zoom, I imagine!

Dylant1234 Wed 16-Dec-20 09:54:01

As a GP I think you know the answer even though as a grandparent you’d rather not hear it!

Gramps47 Wed 16-Dec-20 10:00:13

Is it possible for you all to self isolate for 7-10 days prior to visiting?

dragonfly46 Wed 16-Dec-20 10:06:54

My DD and SiL are hoping to come for Christmas - no children just a dog and they are self isolating before they come so if the government allows I shall feel quite safe.

Helen369 Wed 16-Dec-20 10:07:24

I am in exactly the same position as you Mirren desperate to see my family, arrangements have been made but now things are worsening again. You’re an intelligent person and will make the right choice for you as will I even though it will cause much angst to reach a decision.Not everyone is able to make a completely non emotional decision about this although the bias on this site seems to be very pro staying at home. We all have a number of variables to consider, our age, our health, the tiers we live in and those of the areas we intend travelling to, the lifestyles of those we would like to visit. There is no one size fits all. Don’t be swayed by others, do what’s best for you and have a fabulous Christmas whatever you decide x

Tillymint21 Wed 16-Dec-20 10:13:55

It’s been a no-brainer in our extended family. We all live in different parts of the UK and my parents and father-in-law all decided early on that they were staying put in their own homes for Christmas. They are in excellent health and don’t want to jeopardise that. Having not stayed anywhere else since March I think staying away anywhere now, even with family, would actually prove hugely stressful for them anyway. They are making plans accordingly and the different families involved all have nice things built in over Christmas that includes them on a virtual basis. My father-in-law is in Liverpool and is getting his first vaccine tomorrow. We are hopeful things will gradually ease in 2021 and we will have a spring or summer ‘Christmas’ if and when it’s safe but not until. It helped us adult children a lot that they were clear in own their separate decisions and comfortable with it so there were no awkward conversations to be had or dithering. I’d recommend making the decision not to go, plan a lovely day for yourselves and give them a clear message with lots of reassurance that you feel happier with this decision. You’ll enjoy seeing them more in due course without the surrounding worries.

Hellsbelles Wed 16-Dec-20 10:20:35

That would be a no from me.
I'd rather go a year without seeing my dc/ dgc for a year or so than not see them because one of us has passed it on and they died of were left with long covid / other issues.

Theoddbird Wed 16-Dec-20 10:24:07

Stay home. You don't want to be part of the rise in cases after Christmas. There will be plenty of time to see family once vaccinated.

luluaugust Wed 16-Dec-20 10:25:38

I would not travel and our intention is to see our local family only, hopefully outside for a walk. I think the long partings have caused a longing and kind of grief and this accounts for the desire to actually see the faces of the people we love and feel some normality but it is of course a huge risk this year.

Blinko Wed 16-Dec-20 10:25:57

We had arranged to meet with our sons and families over the Christmas period. But since we were placed in T3, that became impossible, so we've decided to have a celebration get together when we've all been vaccinated. That looks like being Easter.

As for Christmas, there's always Zoom and Facetime. We just wouldn't take the risk.

harrigran Wed 16-Dec-20 10:28:24

Family asked me what I had arranged for Christmas day and told them that being extremely vulnerable we would be staying at home and not entertaining others. Probably not what they wanted to hear as in-laws of DS were celebrating together and were just not going to mix with others for a few days before they travelled from one part of the UK to another county in another tier confused

Alioop Wed 16-Dec-20 10:33:08

Government idiots over the Christmas hooley. No one should listen to them and realise its madness. I'm praying our ministers in N.Ireland will ignore Boris again and let us decide what suits us and the way things are here decide on no gatherings and only your immediate bubble. All my friends that I've spoken to are all on their own this year, no one is having Xmas with large family gatherings, but there will be idiots who will think it's ok and cause mayhem in New Year for our NHS.

sandelf Wed 16-Dec-20 10:38:31

Why? Why now? It really is just tradition to mark the 25th and 31st December as we usually do. Just for this one year - keep yourself and others safe. Not just your relatives but what if you have a car mishap or get ill of something else - lots of scenarios could involve random strangers helping you - unnecessarily. Stay home - phone or Zoom.

Gingergirl Wed 16-Dec-20 10:40:44

Personally I wouldn’t wait for mass vax of the whole country. Once extra guidance is given today, maybe it will help to solve everyone’s dilemmas. We also don’t know if we should be going to family in tier three and will decide next week finally. But we can just about do it in a day. I think sleeping over, is something very different and I feel that’s too much time confined indoors all together at the moment. Only you can decide what you feel comfortable with.

Mollygo Wed 16-Dec-20 10:43:43

I wouldn’t go. We had planned to visit family down south, but we have to stay in a hotel and all 5 family members are working so won’t have isolated before we get there. It really upsets me but I’d sooner stay as safe from the virus as possible and also not risk the nightmare of hundreds of miles on the motorway when lots of folk are trying to fit their visits in the time allowed.

GreyKnitter Wed 16-Dec-20 10:44:25

It’s a really hard decision isn’t it. Your heart says yes but your head says no. We’ve decided not to see family at Christmas - a couple of them live locally so we will meet up for a walk - but def not travelling and spending time in others houses. Breaks my heart when my granddaughter - aged 13 - messages how much she is missing me and all the things we did per Christmas in the past. My grandson - the male version of a drama queen - told his mum that just to see me for an hour would make his Christmas complete!! Hopefully later in the year our dreams will come true. ??????

TanaMa Wed 16-Dec-20 10:48:09

Other people of different religions have had to forsake their celebrations, what makes Christians any different! There are 363 other days in a year when family and friends can get together when it is deemed safe to do so. Celebrate or possibly die - who wants to make that choice?

absthame Wed 16-Dec-20 10:59:20

My wif and I live in Oxfordshire my son in Having Essex, it's the national hot spot. We will not see him or our granddaughter and great granddaughter who we miss dearly. Having said that we have two grand children relatively close and they have 5 of our great grandchildren between them and we are giving them a miss year too. It is heartbreaking but for all but necessary.

ReadyMeals Wed 16-Dec-20 11:03:11

In the words of Jenrick "let Easter be the new xmas" I think this is turning out to be a winter-type virus just like most colds, and the combination of improving weather and vaccine will give us a very different picture by Easter.

silverdragon Wed 16-Dec-20 11:04:59

My family is split over 4 households, none of whom will be coming round with the sole exception of my oldest niece who is also the pharmacy collector for my parents. She finishes work this Thurs & will only come round for a few hours on sun 27th.

I know people have been missing family etc but lets not have to start again if we all start mingling even if trying to maintain distances, etc. Personally I couldn't do the travelling, etc if at the back of my mind was always 'be careful...wash your hands...keep your distance...don't hug...'. Mentally that would take away any of the joy of meeting up with friends & family.

So we'll all be in our own homes, relaxing. And that's going to be the biggest thing that we need at the moment.

I know many will be suffering mentally, and their situation will be totally different, and I cannot blame them for meeting up. But there is a difference between just missing someone, and really suffering mentally.

Whatever your Christmas situation will be I hope you'll all have a happy and relaxing time.

Aepgirl Wed 16-Dec-20 11:40:44

Why does a GP need us to tell her what to do? If she doesn’t know, how are the rest of us supposed to know?

Davida1968 Wed 16-Dec-20 11:47:30

Like many other GNs replying here , I wouldn't go. But (under current guidelines) I appreciate that everyone has to make their own decisions about this. Recently I've been catching up with friends with whom I've not spoken for a while, and I'm hearing about people ("friends of friends" - fit, well, and in their early 70s) who have died of Coronavirus. This news has reinforced our decision about a stay-at-home, "no contact" Christmas.

lilyH Wed 16-Dec-20 12:09:53

So agree Sodapop, just use common sense.