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Granny advice needed

(66 Posts)
GagaJo Mon 25-Jan-21 11:51:40

I am considering bringing my daughter and grandson to Switzerland to live with me. Although there is covid here, it isn't anywhere near as bad as it is in the UK. Living here for a couple of years could be a way to improve his and his mum's lives. I don't think they would stay long term, but for a year or two, until hopefully, the whole covid mess dies down a bit. There are lots of complexities to the issue but the one that worries me the most is my grandson.

He is almost 3 and is really starting to talk a lot now, BUT his speaking is quite delayed. As an English teacher I know that late speaking often means literacy issues.

I am concerned that putting him into a non English speaking environment would drastically affect his language acquisition.

Do any of you have any insight or opinions about this? There ARE other issues with them moving, but this is the one that worries me the most.

Witzend Tue 26-Jan-21 10:18:51

Re late speech, a BiL of mine barely uttered at all until he was 3. My MiL told me she’d been getting very worried, but once he started....

He eventually won a scholarship to Cambridge and later went to work in Paris. Now completely bilingual.

Might add that when we lived in the Middle East, there were a number of mixed-nationality families. I knew personally of two where the children grew up with 3 languages - Greek speaking father and German speaking mother, who spoke to each other in English - and to the child in their mother tongue.
The children obviously became most proficient in the language used at school (English or Greek - there was a Greek-speaking school on our compound) but would happily converse in the other two.
Such a wonderful advantage for them, I always thought. At the toddler stage they would sometimes muddle them up, but they were sorted out eventually.

Caro57 Tue 26-Jan-21 10:26:55

You talk of DD and GS - is there a dad anywhere, if so might the relocation cause problems?

Quilty Tue 26-Jan-21 10:33:47

GagaJo......I wouldn't worry about the language issue. My DG has been very slow with her speech. She has now started her formal education and is being taught in a language other than English-her parents choice. She is speaking in her second language very competently and her english is improving too. All in all a different girl.

Newatthis Tue 26-Jan-21 10:51:13

You would have a bilingual grandchild and it most certainly would affect his linguistic abilities. I am a professional in this field. It would be a fabulous experience for your daughter, your grandson and you.

25Avalon Tue 26-Jan-21 10:52:07

I would feel better if this said “I am considering asking” rather than “I am considering bringing”. Are there underlying other issues? This all needs to be by joint discussion and agreement with dd really. Not just the language but there will be other upheaval for your little dg. This needs very carefully thinking out. Upheaval could put his language skills back. I think at the end of the day it would perhaps be best to think of what would make everyone happy, and if coming to live with you is that then they should, provided Covid regulations allow.

In another post you said you were self isolating after being in close contact with a student who tested positive. I do hope you get the all clear. Best wishes.

Lizbethann55 Tue 26-Jan-21 10:53:14

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity to me, providing of course, that they want to move! Is it actually possible in the middle of a pandemic? Would you be happy for them to stay if they decide not to return home? And how easy would it be for them to pick up the pieces of their present life after two years. But the thought of your DGS growing up bilingual is a wonderful one.
With regards go his speech I really wouldn't worry. My DD is an August baby so started schools just days after her 4th birthday and her speech was very slow. She couldn't say "s" which was a problem as she is called Sarah. Everyone thought her name was Mary! We had her hearing tested but it was fine. A few years ago she graduated from Sheffield uni with a first as a speech and language therapist!

Gwenisgreat1 Tue 26-Jan-21 10:59:04

If it's any help, I used to be friendly with a french family in Aberdeen. They had a baby and a 3 year old. I was visiting and was informed that Charle said he is not speaking English today!! The phone rang, my friend gave me the baby to give him his bottle. The Charle came grabbed the bottle and announced "He's had enough now"
This little one could just switch languages on and off like water coming out of a tap!!

Nanananana1 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:01:21

It has probably been said here earlier but I do think getting a proper assessment of your GS 's difficulty is a priority. What ever you do regarding travel, schooling and child care will depend on how they understand this problem. My son worked in an International School and they really are superb, so no worries about finding a good education for him. He just needs the right support. I also worked in Switzerland and almost everyone speaks perfect English too so it will a multi-lingual experience for all of you. Sounds wonderful, good luck!

sandelf Tue 26-Jan-21 11:03:02

Are you SURE you are not being swayed by the destructive negative hysterical over emphasis of every bad thing in the press. If you live within the rules and your means, life here is very good.

Dearknees1 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:05:16

I worked as a teacher/ consultant for English as an Additional Language. Academic research shows that the more languages children learn and the earlier they begin the more proficient they.

Theoddbird Tue 26-Jan-21 11:15:35

One of my grandchildren did not start talking until he was three. He had heating tests etc. Now he does not stop. He is a highly intelligent creative child. I see no mention in your post of what your daughter wants. I only see you going on about what YOU think is best for them. It will be your daughter's decision. Seems as if you want to take over her life. Maybe she would be better off staying here. Travel abroad is constricted here anyway.

Quaver22 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:18:19

Here in Wales many children go to Welsh speaking schools and have all their lessons in Welsh while speaking only English at home. I believe that research shows that bilingual children find it easier to learn new languages when they are older.

4allweknow Tue 26-Jan-21 11:52:26

Have a friend whose DD moved to Spain when her youngest was 3. All GC were placed in non English speaking schools and have settled really well. How do you know GS has an issue with speech. I didn't speak until I went to school. Had medicals etc to find if there was anything physically wrong - nothing. Eventually did speak and layer on when asked why I hadn't spoken apparently my reasoning was that I just couldn't be bothered and there was enough other people doing the talking. Does your DD want to move, that's the biggest issue to be addressed.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 26-Jan-21 11:55:24

Learning a second language at 3 may very well after an initial period where he is reluctant to speak English increase his language skills.

Starting another languague at his age he will later on in life speak it without any foreign accent which will be a very positive asset for him, as will a second language be.

If your daughter is happy and willing to come, go ahead.

mokryna Tue 26-Jan-21 11:56:00

My eldest daughter was four when she arrived here and I put her straight away into the free local nursery. She didn’t have any ‘special’ classes but the teacher in the first year of primary school when she was six, took care that she understood.
Second daughter could read English at two and started local nursery at two etc. no problems.

Third daughter followed her sisters but she is dyslexic, and the French at that time didn’t recognize this problem, plus the fact we went to China. She had the reading age of eight when she sat her exams at sixteen but we persevered. She is a physio in Manchester now, in the worst of it.

You being an English teacher can help him a lot, I believe you are fully bilingual. I wasn’t and had no training.
Children love watching tv it is a way they love to learn, the first few months is hard but with your experience he will come through it all. We only spoke English at home and they all had to take up two other languages at school.

I don’t think you will have to worry about your grandson but your daughter will need to find a job so she will not be at home which would be very depressing (I have been in that situation). You would have to find out if she would be allowed to work .

Aepgirl Tue 26-Jan-21 12:09:13

What does your daughter say about this? Is there a father to the child who may object?

Also, the COVID rate in Switzerland is rising steeply, so it’s not necessarily safer than UK.

Nitpick48 Tue 26-Jan-21 13:21:41

My son was very late in speaking, when he was almost 2 I took him to a speech therapist. She said not to worry, when speech is delayed it’s sometimes because other parts of his brain are developing quicker. He didn’t speak properly till almost 3. He’s now 32, with a degree in nuclear physics, a fantastic job, can talk for England, and I’m so glad I took heed. If my mum said she was taking him away because he wasn’t talking yet, I’m afraid I’d have given her very short shrift.

Nitpick48 Tue 26-Jan-21 13:24:48

I apologise, I misunderstood the original post! I missed out the fact the suggestion included “daughter” ! Oops

Daddima Tue 26-Jan-21 13:29:24

My father often said that you spend the first couple of years longing for them to walk and talk, then the following years longing for them to sit down and shut up!

MamaB247 Tue 26-Jan-21 13:36:02

It's a great idea if your daughter is wanting that. But I wouldn't jump to conclusions with your grandsons speech. 3 is way to early to be concerned about speech. I was 7 before I spoke at all. Yet Literacy is one of my strongest subjects and always has been, I also have Receptive Bilingualism which means I can understand most languages So hear without been able to speak it. My speech and the Receptive Bilingualism were linked to autism and selective mutism. But it never affected my intelligence when it came to literacy at all, I'm not saying your grandson has autism as I've said he is 3 and speech comes at different rates for everyone. If you are concerned about his development speak to his doctor, they'll advise you as well as advising you on how a move may affect him.

coastalgran Tue 26-Jan-21 14:53:09

It is always a bonus for children who have the opportunity to learn at least one other language over their own first language. Kids pick up really quickly. All children develop at different ages and stages and measuring performance against age can actually work against development and lead to the youngster not wanting to talk or say certain words and phrases. Switzerland offers the youngster the chance to learn several languages and experience a very different way of life and perhaps blossom.

Rowsie Tue 26-Jan-21 14:54:54

All 3 of my grandsons were slow to speak but by the time they were 6 they were all reading well and their speech was up to the standard of their peers. They have all done well for themselves and one of them is just finishing his Masters Degree. Lots of boys are slow to talk and I think taking him to Switzerland would only be a positive experience for him.

Kim19 Tue 26-Jan-21 15:18:49

Daddima, your Dad was a very astute fellow. Thanks for the reason to laugh. I must try to remember that.

SueDonim Tue 26-Jan-21 17:03:57

In general, I think moving abroad is a positive thing for children, my DD’s certainly benefited from the experience.

However, you’ve mentioned that you don’t get on with your DD, Gagajo. Would it be a wise move, if you’re in a situation where you are thrown together because she won’t have a social life to begin with? Will she be willing to learn a new language, too?

Hawera1 Tue 26-Jan-21 20:51:35

Our grandson is bilingual. You are a teacher i am sure you can help him enormously as well as lavish him with love. If his mother is keen go for it.