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Everyday Ageism

My doctor called me 'An elderly Lady.'

(274 Posts)
Venus Fri 05-Mar-21 11:44:50

I saw my doctor in surgery the other day and she referred to me as an 'elderly lady'. To be honest, I was somewhat taken aback by this description as I've never thought of myself as such. I admit to being middle seventies, but I've always considered myself to be modern and have always coloured my hair, so no grey. I would add she looked like she had just come out of school!

When does someone become elderly?

Nannarose Fri 05-Mar-21 14:15:08

It really depends on the context. Age can be a necessary indicator in some treatments. For some drugs for instance, the term 'elderly' may have to be used to indicate a group for whom it may be more or less suitable, or certain side-effects more or less likely.

However, for the individual, I would ask for your age to be given, rather than a group. The other medical professional is then informed.

I was pleased that in all recent news about vaccines, age groups rather than descriptions were used.

Baggs Fri 05-Mar-21 14:19:13

When does someone become elderly?

When the statistics of illnesses and problems most associated with old age begin to show a significant increase.

Doesn't mean you suffer any of these but a GP wouldn't be doing their job if they didn't take said statistical records into consideration.

Why are people so touchy about being regarded as elderly?

Baggs Fri 05-Mar-21 14:20:38

Also, compared with the rest of the population, mid-seventies IS elderly.

growstuff Fri 05-Mar-21 14:21:38

I had my first child when I was 37 and "elderly" in the context of other first time mothers.

Baggs Fri 05-Mar-21 14:24:37

Quite, gs. It's all relative.

Hithere Fri 05-Mar-21 14:27:06

Like a PP mentioned, it could be according to medical standards.

Advanced maternal age (ama) is 35 years old, for example

Petera Fri 05-Mar-21 14:31:34

grandmajet

I saw an elderly lady walking towards me the other day - it was my reflection in a window!

Ah, that explains who I keep seeing in the mirror.

Kalu Fri 05-Mar-21 14:33:28

During my first pregnancy, aged 25, I was termed a Prim Mid., which gave me a giggle as I have never been described as prim. Just had my 71st birthday, I do feel quite a bit more grown up and I am now in the elderly pigeonhole. Doesn’t bother me, just terms which are necessary to describe certain age groups.

Lovetopaint037 Fri 05-Mar-21 14:46:14

Yes we don’t realise how old we look until people give up their seats for us. My friend travelling with me on a train to London before Covid was annoyed because I got given a seat but she had to stand. I told her that her face lift wasn’t doing her any favours.

Kandinsky Fri 05-Mar-21 14:50:57

You are definitely elderly.
I consider anything over 70 elderly, but by NHS standards it’s probably anything over 65.

Millie22 Fri 05-Mar-21 15:04:50

I'm sure your doctor meant it kindly. My DH didn't like the leaflet that came with his covid appointment letter as it was for 'older adults'. But that's what we are now.

geekesse Fri 05-Mar-21 15:19:08

I’m never clear why doctors need to describe someone as ‘young’, ‘middle aged’ or ‘elderly’ at all, or why they can’t just say ‘woman’ or ‘man’. They could just say your age and sex. As in ‘this 68 year old woman attended the clinic today...’.

PernillaVanilla Fri 05-Mar-21 15:20:38

Yes, it is impolite, this is from the Age UK website:

Dan Holden of the International Longevity Centre, summarised:

“Elderly is problematic because of its association with dependency and frailty, which typecasts whole generations. Although it is natural that we refer to people in groups by their age, chronological age is a poor guide to understand any given person; their health, their personality and their experience. It’s not perfect, but a more neutral term like “older people” is more neutral and goes some way to addressing the stereotyping of this age group.”

I'm in my 60's and still working but I don't mind being an "older person" the word "elderly" makes me think of that hunched up old couple on the road signs.

grandMattie Fri 05-Mar-21 15:29:21

growstuff

I had my first child when I was 37 and "elderly" in the context of other first time mothers.

I was 30 when I had my first and was "Elderly"

Kim19 Fri 05-Mar-21 15:37:10

Bus driver remonstrating with two kids over behaviour suggested they might have hurt the old woman. I looked round expecting to see someone behind only to realise it was me he was referring to. Have often laughed about this over the years. To see ourselves as others see us, indeed!

joannapiano Fri 05-Mar-21 15:38:43

My daughter, who attends lots of Council meetings about the “elderly”, says that over 87 is now classed as elderly.

cornishpatsy Fri 05-Mar-21 16:13:47

I do not see elderly as a derogatory term just a statement of fact.

Those that do probably associate the word with frail, it just means of advanced age, medically speaking over 65.

Blinko Fri 05-Mar-21 16:21:40

I remarked on this on an earlier thread: 'elderly' is ten years older than me, at any given age. I'm sticking with that.

Alexa Fri 05-Mar-21 16:24:49

My mother in hospital in 1908 saw her medical notes that referred to her as "pretty and pert".

BlueBelle Fri 05-Mar-21 16:25:30

I was 76 yesterday and I am not elderly, not at all Maybe I am in medical terms but I don’t like the term elderly I might be getting on a bit but never elderly that’ll be ten years on
My friend if 84 and was most upset to read in a report after a house visit that ‘patient was casually dressed’ she thought that was an insult and was indignant saying to me but I always dress nicely

AGAA4 Fri 05-Mar-21 16:33:29

As I was leaving my doctor's surgery I said I suppose a few problems were bound to happen as you get older. His reply "you have lived to a ripe old age". I am only mid 70's. Too young to be old.

Greeneyedgirl Fri 05-Mar-21 16:35:35

Spot on janeainsworth.
Why can’t we be proud of being elderly? As FannyC says, some of our departed friends or relatives would have loved to reach old age.

Also similar to previous post, we may dye our hair but internal organs may be knackered. That’s the medical term. grin.

Blossoming Fri 05-Mar-21 16:43:50

I’m loving growing old. I nearly didn’t ?

Airedale19 Fri 05-Mar-21 16:51:56

Blossoming ?

Davida1968 Fri 05-Mar-21 17:04:29

As I've mentioned before on GN, I like the USA term of: "Senior Citizen".