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Everyday Ageism

Shop assistants

(122 Posts)
EmHar Tue 11-May-21 13:44:23

I HATE being called love , dear or any familiar word by shop staff : makes me feel incredibly old which as a newish retiree I am not . Just patronising!

B9exchange Fri 14-May-21 17:47:02

I do enjoy the ambulance programmes, but the staff seem to end every single sentence with 'sweet', 'darling' or some other endearment. It does sound patronising, I know they mean well, but they do after all know the patient's name.

Lucca Fri 14-May-21 18:28:07

I rest my case

poshpaws Sun 16-May-21 01:42:31

I like it - I think they're trying to be kind. Up where I am the local lingo is Doric, and I always feel quite chuffed when someone says "my quine" to me!

welbeck Sun 16-May-21 01:51:24

Jemma75

I'm more interested if they acknowledge me by looking in my eyes along with a pleasant expression.

i would find that a bit creepy.
i don't really want people who i am only encountering in a functional or passing capacity trying to look into my soul.
it seems unnecessary, intrusive.
a glance in the general direction suffices.

Katie59 Sun 16-May-21 09:24:18

I do 3 days a week on the supermarket tills these days, I love it, with a new customer, I break the ice with “hello how are you today”. Most respond in some way, which leads to brief chat and ending in “bye”, management encourage this approach.
There in no need to use love, dear, mate or any other any address.

baubles Sun 16-May-21 09:26:52

One of the customers at the charity shop the other day called me ‘Dolly’ several times, no offence meant and none taken.

Nannabumble70 Sun 16-May-21 11:27:26

Just meant as friendly words to me, I don't mind.

Joyfulnanna Mon 17-May-21 02:00:21

Alright Lucca mate ?

JillEH Tue 06-Jul-21 20:44:57

I love it when a shop worker calls me Madam! As a veteran shop worker I love to receive good service from someone who knows their job.

Tinckerbell Mon 01-Aug-22 16:07:13

In business I was called 'my dear', as though I was fresh from school so I just said "I am not your dear, my name is Mrs .... and I would like to be addressed like that".

MerylStreep Mon 01-Aug-22 16:19:38

B9exchange

Is it only me having deja vu, didn't we discuss this on another thread not that long ago? smile

Look at the date. May 2021
Your not wrong.

Witzend Mon 01-Aug-22 16:29:24

I don’t mind any of them, inc. hen, duck and ‘my lover’, heard only in the West Country AFAIK.

Dubnan Sat 15-Oct-22 23:00:41

Doesn't bother me in the slightest

REXF Tue 10-Jan-23 15:29:25

It’s ‘duck’ here.
I don’t mind at all.
“Eye oop duck”
Nice and friendly.

Oldbat1 Tue 10-Jan-23 15:45:57

In Scotland it was normal to be referred to as Hen. I call all dogs “darlin”. Pet, lovely, darling, love, son, mate, duck all very common depending on whichever area of country you are in. No problem with such terms.

AreWeThereYet Tue 10-Jan-23 16:47:44

Couldn't care less so long as it's intended to be polite. I've been addressed as hen, darling, dear, luvvie, miss, mrs, madam, ma'am, cariad, and all sorts of other things all my life so it's nothing to do with age. The only thing that really grates with me is 'Hun' but I wouldn't make a fuss about it (just keep my distance from them in the future 😄).

Whatever term someone uses there will be someone who complains about it - perhaps wear a big name badge in the future ? 'Call me Mrs Smith'

MerylStreep Tue 10-Jan-23 16:53:26

If a shop assistant makes you feel old by calling you dear, that’s your problem, not the friendly shop assistant.

baubles Tue 10-Jan-23 17:10:40

Oldbat1

In Scotland it was normal to be referred to as Hen. I call all dogs “darlin”. Pet, lovely, darling, love, son, mate, duck all very common depending on whichever area of country you are in. No problem with such terms.

A woman I worked with many moons ago always responded to this with “I know I’m no chicken but don’t call me Hen!!” grin

valdali Tue 10-Jan-23 17:13:07

Brought up in WMidlands,worked in Leicester for a while. "Duck" not unknown in WMids, & rife in Leicester when I was there. I like these casual friendlinesses & on occassion do use them myself. In Bristol, the amount of times I've called a someone "duck" & got a double take or not knowing whether to take offense response - it doesnt go down well at all. Particularly with men / boys.

Fleurpepper Tue 10-Jan-23 17:17:46

I can't stand poncy shop assistants who look and talk down at you! So yes, give me friendly ones with a bit of banter- as I experienced when we moved to the West then East Mids- and still now.

LOUISA1523 Tue 10-Jan-23 20:15:39

Doesnt worry me in the slightest as long as they smile and are attentive