Thursday: Terrible Miss Mary Doll’s Totally Troublesome Teasers.

I don’t know what alkyhole is Bathsheba does it come from a hole in the ground?

No dragonfly the nyss man fwom tesco brorted it wiv awl owr fud livry. It woz in a bottawl. Wew, loss ov bottawls aksherlee!

The bottawls av a laibul wot sez ‘Gin’. Duz tha elp?

Have you tried drinking it?

Gurls! Orl this tork of alkyhole is gonna Getty’s inta trubbl soe to pree-emt Miss, I is settin uppa Banned o Hope soe we cann syne de Plej. ?

We muss promys too foresayk Gordn, Jym Beem, Glen Fiditch, Pen Derrin, Smyr Noff, Dom Perinon an orl thoes otha norty temtayshuns!

Yes! An it muss av majik in it! Kos I pored sum in a kup an dwinkd it awl up (I ad to old mine noze to stop the taiss kos it taissdid orrabul!). Ennywae, the necks fing I new, I woz in mine bed an I dint eevn do tha mineself! I done no ow I got thare!

So the alkyhole muss be maid of majik wot tellypawts peepul to diffren playsis!

Oi Pants wot bout awl Misses gin wot yoo got hided in the cubberd at the bak ov the bik shed? Yoo gointa giv it bak to er?

Morning Miss and evreewun! Mi mumee used to drink custerd called At The Car, wich is a veree od nayme coz i cud nevva sea a car ennywear. it ewsed two mayk her face go veree red. i tryed it an it mayed me go dizzy an fawl down!

Well I opened the fridge and I couldn’t see any Shampoo in it, I think though that her other medicine called a Tonic is in there, my Grandma says that she needs a good tonic, so I’ll tell her it’s in our fridge.
Grandma also says that Mummy thinks that money grows on trees too.

Iz ok bath I fink Miss kant dwink alkyhole coz ov er meditashuns so I fink Miss’ gin in nun-alkyholeic. I fink dat meyns wes can stil dwink it evn if we sins d plej.
pants I dunno anee of doze boys wot yous menshun. Did yous met dem in der bik shed?
oops welcum two klas. Yous got lubberly shyney shoos. Mines neber sta clen four long.
Iz gud youz an dragonfly r goin to weed. Yous can be d gud gurls an Miss Charley wot cums at bweak tymes wil be sew pleesed wiv yous she mite not notis wot der res of us is up two.
You don knew to be scawed off us. We is norty sum tymes but we not nastee gurls ?

Puzzler ?

A hint for those who are struggling:
The answer is neither 4, nor 5

Alo squiffy . Eye seen dat At the car custerd in der shops two. My mum cawls it egg nog an seys she eweses it two mak snowballs! Isn dat siwwy. Yous kant mak snowballs wiv custerd ?

Oh miss I bin sew bisy takin two my frens I not dun myne sums yet ? I stawt now

Iss orlryte fore Miss too av a bottl o Jin fore er snifftrs wot cleers er synusses - iss medisnul innit!?

Mi mam az a Lon Eyelan Eyss Tee mose affanwns an it mayk er so sleepee....not lyke that Url Grae wot Dragonfly’s mum drinks!

Oopsadaisy wy yoos kawd tha? Iz it kos yoo kep trypin up an fawlin ova? Mine mum keps doin tha two, I done no wy. But iz yoojallee arftr shees dwinkd loss ov her jin. Dyoo dwink loss of jin two?

Minedyoo, I done fink yoo kan bee fawlin ova loss kos yore luvvallee shynee shoos wud be awl skrachd. An thare knot, thay luk lik knew!

I drink ony peppamynt tee an’ - don tel any wun - it do maek mine wee gween.

Fank yoo for th apple ? Miss

??‍♀️ Wil tri agen Miss.
Eye want too now wot Pantglas has for hir brekfst to mayk hir now thi ansers! ?

Oopsadaisy how did you get a pen licence when you carnt seem to do joined up writing?

Miss makes me use a pencil still.
It's not fair

My writtings just as good as yours

Someone's lended my pencil, where is it

U must remember not 2 av ice in ur drink cos Miss sed it mite b poysernd......
Hope the appels r safe 2 eet.....!

Peppamynt tee mayks mi botom coff?

Pittcity ?
Kalu ?

Another hint!
It's not, 3, 4 or 5. I am wicked!