You are amazing nannynoo and your GS is one lucky boy. I do hope everything goes as smoothly as possible over the next few weeks..
34 year old assisted euthanasia
Gransnet forums
Grandparenting
Hi All , Re the most difficult journey of my life so far ... It is finally coming to an end it seems 
The department have said YES to me having my GS!!
I am still in shock as they said NO before which absolutelty THREW me as I thought I was on solid ground but then it felt like I was wading in mud again!
They fully agreed this time and I think it is because the 'trial run' when I had him for the 6 days went so well and they do want my GS to be HAPPY and the SW said she knows I am going to be brilliant at it
She said no Grandparent EXPECTS this ie taking on the full time care of their Grandchild but that I have adjusted to the reality and practicalities of it and we are still going for full guardianship as my DD is not doing very well unfortunately and we suspect there may be drugs involved as well
It has to go 'higher' now for all the final agreements and arrangements , the foster agency has to be made known and the school , plus the special needs team who deal with my GS as he will be living in another borough , contact centre for DD will need to be changed to a closer one etc but SW sees it as being no problem now it has been agreed
The RELIEF is IMMENSE and I cried after the phone call like a baby
My little GS is finally going to be HAPPY after all he has been through
It is going to take 2-4 weeks now but that is fine , we are NEARLY THERE NOW and I feel bad for losing faith as my personal belief is Gods power is ABOVE mans and it certainly is , but is has been SCARY , baffling and overwhelming at times which is natural too
I was at the point I had had ENOUGH of it all , not giving up , but had ENOUGH but now I can concentrate on the REAL prep work as the house and garden are DONE so I just need to get MY SUPPORT NETWORK well and truly in place , find out what is in the community etc , get the carers centre on board as they are brilliant and experts on all things to do with carers and plus give my GS an EXTRA tight hug when I see him next with a huge smile on my face!!!
I am not going to be intimidated because of their job title , qualifications , or 'mouth' on them
Just gonna relax and be ME same with at my GS's sports day tomorrow as it's HIM I'm going for even though I could do without all this stuff going on around me
ONE day I CAN just 'relax' completely and simply 'enjoy' my GS without all this other bs going on around me , the foster carer will be out of my life and so will the school once he changes school and hopefully the new school WON'T judge me or have preconceived ideas about me because my DD is an alcoholic and I can then RELAX with them and work with them WELL and get along with them in harmony which is actually BETTER for my GS and I would have LOVED to work WITH the fc and have a continuing relationship with her if things were good between us , didn't WANT to be 'glad to see the back of her' that's not ME either!! 
x
( I used to LOVE being involved with my childrens schools , worked in one for a while , staff were great , got on well with them , volunteered on the cake stall etc etc , got fully involved which I loved but the headmistress at my GS's school and SOME of her staff have PUSHED ME AWAY by their attitude towards me , even how they speak to me and I am being judged because of my DD's addiction and because of the neglect , can see their point of view but it hurts and alienates me and it is not exactly MY fault , or deserved and I can't help wish people were less judgmental after being on the brunt end of it now , lesson to me not to do the same! Might go and hug a homeless person now lol but it is horrible how we treat each other sometimes )
My hurt is coming out today but it's good to get it out as it is hurt beneath the anger xx
..And unfortunately I don't hold out much hope for the above
I myself am happy to just move on from it and leave it behind me
Or cut my losses ( to my peace and happiness ) and just RUN as I have found it quite damaging to be honest
I think people can sometimes feel guilty when it is too late , some don't perhaps but I am 'better of out of it' is all I can say
Plus I will be FINE!!
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