My son and GD have fallen out with each, has anyone been in a similar situation?

My eldest granddaughter has been living with me for the past 7-8 months. She called me one day in a complete state and then admitted that my son had been very "handy" with her and her sibs for a long time. This time, he had gone to far and beaten her badly. I told her to come straight here.

When things had settled down I wrote to my son and told him that I didn't want to see or hear from him until such time as he 1) apologised to her and 2) assured both her and me that it would not happen again. She was 19 at the time but is now 20. He is a single dad who had brought up her and her 2 brothers and whom I had always admired, until she confessed that this has been going on for years and years.

He is not a small man. He used to Cage Fight for relaxation and could easily have killed her. She will be staying with me until she can find her feet as well as somewhere to live.

I cannot abide violence - especially towards women and children. I could not care less if men knock 7 bells out of each other.

Very tough situation. On one level you want to see if you can rectify, on the other level it will be turned on you too. On another level it's simply very bad and evil behaviour to disown a parent and to ignore it seems easiest although what does ignoring evil behaviour say about ourselves. Very tricky. Chances are very high that saying anything ( including calling out evil behaviour) is going to jeopardize GD relationship with you. I would talk to your son. Sympathize with this dreadful D behaviour and ask is there anything he would like you to do. My heart goes out to his kind of suffering. There are no words for this selfish evil behaviour that people feel entitled to these days. I'm sure your son was a loving devoted generous father. I'm sure of it. I would reach out to your son and offer support and ask him what he would like you to do. This is not going to change anytime soon. I wish I could tell these 20 and 30 year olds what the xxxx are they doing. Incredibly narcissistic of the GD. Support your son I say. Be on the side of Christianity rather than the side of evil.

If her Mum is now taking a new, sudden interest in your granddaughter, I expect this engenders quite a feeling of relief and gratitude. The novelty may wear off though, so just continue seeing your granddaughter without getting involved in the situation re her Mum and Dad and things might eventually go back to normal. It must be difficult for you but if you get involved it will only complicate issues.

Caligrandma

Very tough situation. On one level you want to see if you can rectify, on the other level it will be turned on you too. On another level it's simply very bad and evil behaviour to disown a parent and to ignore it seems easiest although what does ignoring evil behaviour say about ourselves. Very tricky. Chances are very high that saying anything ( including calling out evil behaviour) is going to jeopardize GD relationship with you. I would talk to your son. Sympathize with this dreadful D behaviour and ask is there anything he would like you to do. My heart goes out to his kind of suffering. There are no words for this selfish evil behaviour that people feel entitled to these days. I'm sure your son was a loving devoted generous father. I'm sure of it. I would reach out to your son and offer support and ask him what he would like you to do. This is not going to change anytime soon. I wish I could tell these 20 and 30 year olds what the xxxx are they doing. Incredibly narcissistic of the GD. Support your son I say. Be on the side of Christianity rather than the side of evil.

Sorry but I think this comment is incredibly unkind. 'Evil', saying 'be on the side of Christianity' and then saying some of the things you have said. Where is your compassion? We don't know exactly what has happened and can't speculate, offering support is one thing but suggesting that a person is evil is not acceptable.