I’ve been thinking about this for a while annie and no, I don’t have an answer, in fact I don’t believe there is a neat answer, there never is when emotions are involved
Can I share some thoughts? You can care for your granddaughters from a distance, you do now. The fact the distance would be longer is in my view immaterial. Young people can and do travel. You said your grandchildren struggle with your daughters husband but also he is away for much of the year, lots of visiting time then. I also wonder how you feel about him, do you two get along, that would be important I would think.
You love Wales, but forgive me, at the moment you find leaving your home impossible much of the time. Would it be easier to move around in a new location? Away from the reminders? Could there be more opportunity for social contact? Having said that you explained your daughters home is quite isolated. If you felt able to join in community activities could you do so independently?
Your daughter has sprung this on you. She must have thought about it some while ago to have secured planning permission. I imagine she and her husband wanted to be sure of the permission before telling you. While accepting she worries about you I wonder if she may be hoping for and wanting your company as she’s alone for much of the year.
Do you know the shape and size of your potential new home? Would it suit you? It does sound an ideal place for canine company.
As others have said, once the conversion is finished could you keep your bungalow, keep paying your rent, and go for an extended holiday? I understand it would take courage but there is much sense in testing such a significant change
Thinking about the transition is bound to be frightening. Give yourself time for it to settle. Could you chat to your son in law who isn’t? Get his thoughts. Perhaps it’s time to be honest with your granddaughters about your isolation sometimes an old fashioned pros and cons list helps.
There are two of us here but no geographically close family now. A dear friend experienced a life changing illness back in the summer and could never have gone home without the support of her daughter who lives close by. It’s made us think. Much as we enjoy being here we are intrinsically alone. We’ve decided we would manage whatever came as a couple, when one is alone the situation is very different and so we have asked our family to help the remaining person with a move when the time comes.
We’re all different annie. As I said I have no answers for you, if there was an easy answer you wouldn’t have asked for thoughts. Let it settle, talk to your daughter, granddaughters and your son in law who isn’t. Find out about the proposed accommodation. Then let it settle some more, take your time. It’s actually OK to make a decision not to make a decision yet. I know that sounds odd but if you do that you remain in control.
I hope you can come to a conclusion you are content with and others accept and understand. Wishing you well.