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Menopause

Sex after menopause

(110 Posts)
Mollyplop Sun 19-Aug-18 17:42:09

Hi i hope this ok to post, but I'm sure it will be removed if not! I had my last period about 3 years ago (I'm nearly 54). It seems to be something I can't discuss with my girlfriends but intercourse is now extremely painful to the point of being impossible. I have tried vaginal moisturiser but I don't think that the issue. It's as though things have "narrowed". It's like a taboo subject as if nobody is meant to have sex after 50! I'm experiencing a bout of depression at the moment so my libido is low but my OH and I have a loving relationship and is hate to think that it's over at such an early age. Sorry for the long post, but any advice would be most welcome.

stella1949 Sun 19-Aug-18 17:49:20

After menopause, decreased estrogen levels in the body can lead to loss of elasticity around the vaginal muscles — essentially shrinking the opening and making it difficult to have intercourse. You need to replace those lost hormones - get along to the doctor and start taking some hormone replacement therapy. It works wonders and brings your vaginal area back to it's younger self. I used it and it and the problem was cured in a matter of a few weeks. Good luck !

FlexibleFriend Sun 19-Aug-18 17:51:19

I don't suppose you want to talk to your doctor either but tbh they're the best person to check it out for you. Apart from that it's generally recommended to use a vibrator if you're not having sex other wise atrophy sets in.

Greyduster Sun 19-Aug-18 18:31:45

I took HRT for ten years and didn’t regret it. If you don’t like the thought of taking oral HRT, have a word with your doctor about whether a low dose oestrogen cream applied directly to the relevant tissues would work for you. You are far too young to give up sex. Talk to your doctor.

hopeful1 Sun 19-Aug-18 18:43:18

Oestrogen cream is great for this problem, I had no other menopausal symptoms so didn't feel the need for HRT, so just treated the one problem that was threatening my relationship. Painful sex is so difficult to discuss at first but your GP would have heard it all before, go and have a word as it is so easily solved.

Fennel Sun 19-Aug-18 18:48:50

Same as posters above.
As well as that if you leave it too long it can lead to painful urinary infections, needing antibiotics.
At 82 I still use vagifem. Sex life almost over {blush}

Framilode Sun 19-Aug-18 19:26:49

Good for you Fennel. Hope for us all yet.

Thorntrees Mon 20-Aug-18 18:55:42

I was having problems with urinary frequency post menopause and my gp prescribed Vagifem,I found that using Vagifem made sex much more comfortable even though I hadn’t found it really painful up to then and DH said he noticed a difference as well It hasn’t helped much yet with the frequency but I live in hope.

Iam64 Mon 20-Aug-18 19:06:06

If you can take HRT I'd say go for it and stay on it.

I stopped on the advice of a new GP and regret following that advice. I used vagifem when I experienced the difficulties described by the OP. I had a bleed, so the GP stopped the prescription (for reasons I accept)

Painful sex is awful. I hope you can get something to help.

Lynne59 Mon 20-Aug-18 19:39:02

Fennel... you saucy minx!

I'm 59, had my last period last October. I haven't been even remotely interested in sex for years! I had terrible flooding for weeks at a time (10 weeks continuously the longest) for the previous 5 years.

On the odd occasion I have had sex with my long-suffering husband, it's been very painful. Perhaps I should try the things suggested on here.

Fennel Mon 20-Aug-18 20:49:01

Lynne - it's not me it's him! He's a bit younger than me.
But he seems to have calmed down now TG.

Coolgran65 Mon 20-Aug-18 20:56:54

I'm 70 and still active. For years I've used Vatican cream for daily dryness, and ky jelly for sex. However recently this hasn't been enough and it's been a bit like 'sandpaper sex.'.

You have reminded me that previously I've used the hormone cream successfully. I'll ask my doctor at an upcoming appointment.

Coolgran65 Mon 20-Aug-18 20:58:19

Ooops... Not Vatican cream.
Stupid autocorrect.
It should be vagifem cream ?

loopyloo Mon 20-Aug-18 21:01:24

I love it ......Vatican cream. Can perform miracles!

Fennel Mon 20-Aug-18 21:04:24

grin

Menopaws Mon 20-Aug-18 21:09:22

I'm sorry shouldn't laugh but sandpaper sex and Vatican cream have made me laugh so much my iPad fell off my extended belly and fell on the floor and woke up my husband and made the dog jump off the bed and bark!

seacliff Mon 20-Aug-18 21:13:45

giggle

PECS Mon 20-Aug-18 21:17:26

It is good we can laugh about things that can be difficult to talk about! I have been lucky and had a relatively easy menopause at about 57 & the following 10 years have been fine sex wise..but pleased to get the info in case I do need help in the future!

WishIWasSaintly Mon 20-Aug-18 21:46:09

Vatican cream! hahahaha ...

I have the pessaries and I know what I'll be calling them from now on ...

So, Mollyplop, sorry to hear of your situation. Looks like the advice is doc, loads of lube and non penetrative sex ... a lot of fun can be had without it.

Hope things ease up soon x

Nanawind Mon 20-Aug-18 21:51:42

I use YES vaginal gel from the internet.(great name) This is a natural lubricant. I cannot have HRT for health reasons so I found this after a lot of research. The vaginal gel prescribed by my GP didn't help me.
I believe some GPs will give it via prescription unfortunately mine won't.

Chewbacca Mon 20-Aug-18 21:57:27

I've nothing sensible to add to this thread except I'm choking with laughter at Vatican cream for sandpaper sex! I won't be able to look at photos of the Pope again without sniggering! Thanks so much Coolgran, I really needed that giggle!

Katek Mon 20-Aug-18 22:48:21

Hahahahaha!! Love it....Vatican cream!

???

phoenix Mon 20-Aug-18 22:51:06

I'm sitting here with tears steaming down my cheeks (facial ones) at Vatican cream, yet wanting to post other stuff relevant to the op, but can't.

phoenix Mon 20-Aug-18 23:00:22

Apropos of nothing......

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvhYqeGp_Do

Coolgran65 Mon 20-Aug-18 23:13:21

I laughed when I saw it myself and now
you've all made me laugh again, and again.
And as for the Pope ..... I'll look at him in a new light.
A cottage industry perhaps ??