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NOW CLOSED Calling all UK grandparents: please take a survey for GNHQ - you could win a £50 voucher

(29 Posts)
KatGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 19-Sep-13 08:57:09

As you may know - we have a new book coming out in October on how to survive grandparenting in the 21st century. To mark its release we're looking in to the main areas of difference between how you brought up your own children and how they in turn are bringing up theirs.

Are there any similarities or differences that have surprised you? Do you think being a 21st century grandparent is full unexpected challenges?

We'd love to hear your views, please do take a few minutes to complete this survey, and all respondents who submit their email address will be added into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher.

The survey is open to all UK gransnetters who have at least one child and at least one grandchild.

Here's the link again: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GNsurveySept13

Thanks again and good luck with the prize draw

GNHQ

kate1947 Thu 19-Sep-13 10:27:53

I think the main area of difference is the technology, and the worrying mobile phones with internet access, I believe in keeping childhood as innocent as possible, they grow up soon enough!
My Grandchildren are 1 and 3 years old, so it isn't a problem yet.

I feel sorry for the parent today, they have worries of a different kind

AnneMaria Thu 19-Sep-13 11:49:35

I don't think I want to feel sorry for the parents of today. I think we all have our worries and concerns and even if they change the fact is they still exist for everyone. Technological advancements are a fact of life and it is important to recognise that. A 4 or 5 year old who is starting school doesn't need a mobile phone but they do need to know about gadgets and it is in their interest to be able to access and use them - where appropriate.

Gally Thu 19-Sep-13 12:18:39

Have completed the survey.
I wouldn't want to be a new parent today. Parenting obviously evolves over time; we had our problems, our parents and grandparents certainly had theirs and so on but having been there, done that and got the T-shirt I am now quite content to sit on the side lines and watch from a safe distance wink

NannyBarbara Thu 19-Sep-13 12:19:38

I've completed the survey but was frustrated that some of the responses were restricted to 2-3 answers - I needed to be able to tick more boxes!!

kittylester Thu 19-Sep-13 13:10:08

I've just looked at the survey and got stuck on question 1. I didn't breastfeed because I couldn't manage it but that doesn't mean I was against it. confused

I'll go back and see how I manage with the other questions.

kittylester Thu 19-Sep-13 13:26:12

And, when I went back, that question had disappeared - or was I imagining it?

Also, I didn't like the question about preferring to be a parent or a grandparent. Despite having grandchildren, I am still a parent!

glassortwo Thu 19-Sep-13 13:50:14

kitty I came across similar problems, I couldn't tick on certain boxes but that didn't mean I agreed or disagreed, there isn't enough scope to actually answer some of the questions fully in my opinion, all a bit vague.

michelleblane Thu 19-Sep-13 14:07:32

I have three children with 2, 2 and 4 children of their own. The each have quite different approaches to bringing up their children, so it was quite difficult answering the questions.

Grannyeggs Thu 19-Sep-13 14:14:02

I've done it but like NannyBarbara , find choices a bit restricting.

Anne58 Thu 19-Sep-13 14:14:06

I think some of the questions and possible responses could have been worded better!

Yes, I used to put DS's outside in the pram to sleep (in good weather) but it was NOT at the bottom of the garden, rather it was just outside the kitchen door.

With co-sleeping, it was something that happened occasionally, so I'm neither for not against. DS1 was born with bi-lateral talipes, so although it was recommended at that time that babies slept on their stomachs, he had a note on his crib in the hospital saying "Please do not put me on my tummy" as that position did not help to get his splinted legs and feet in the best position.

I do get frustrated with the way some surveys or questionnaires are worded. I spent over 6 years designing them for clients to ensure that the data they produced could be considered valid and robust!

janthea Thu 19-Sep-13 15:24:08

I've just completed and also felt I could have added further comments.

ItsOnlyNan Thu 19-Sep-13 17:55:51

Was talking about this only yesterday. I think we had it much easier. I can remember walking out of a job in the morning and getting another one before the end of the day.

Our children could play in the street all after school and in the school holidays.

School child care in the holidays was lunch and drink money and payment towards any outings - we didn't have to pay for the use of the school, the child-carers wages or insurance.

After-school clubs were free.

FlicketyB Thu 19-Sep-13 18:59:29

I didn't do this survey because as soon as I saw the headings I could see the problems.
1) You have confused doing something with being in favour of it and not doing it because you were against it. I did a number of things because that was recommended practice not because I was in favour of it.
2) No consideration that we may have done different things with different children. One of my children I swaddled because they were happier if I did it, one I never swaddled because it made them unhappy if I did it. The same comments apply to the section on our children as parents
3)Playing out, at what age? You do not state. Under what conditions? That will also influence such a decision.
4) You also assume that we have a preference between being parent or grandparent

Pippa000 Sat 21-Sep-13 15:40:34

Agree that some questions were difficult to answer, but have done the best I could. When my children were little (from the first being 6 weeks old) hubby was away in N Ireland in the Army, every 9-12 months for on average a 6 month tour of duty until they were 9 or 10 years old so most of the parenting was down to me on my own, with a second child arriving when the first was 18 months old. With no grandparents to help or advise I muddled through. I now find it beyond strange that both parents are needed to manage two children, and they will not leave them to 'do their own thing' but have to constantly interact, and play with them.

FlicketyB Sat 21-Sep-13 21:32:32

DH was not in the army but his work took him away from home a lot, usually at a day or less notice and from indefinite periods, anything from 3 days to 3 weeks, mainly UK/Europe but sometimes further afield.

Like you Pippa, no nearby grandparents. I just got on with it, but then I was a war baby and my mother had to manage on her own for nearly 5 years with 2 small children. In her case not helped by having my grandmother living with us as her house ad been destroyed in the blitz. I suspect one of the reasons my mother never got involved with her grandchildren unless asked was because having suffered her mother constantly watching her and providing an endless stream of advice but not help, she was determine not to tread that road herself.

Oldgreymare Sun 22-Sep-13 09:56:25

Can't do the survey, won't let me! It's that dratted red exclamation mark again!!!!!

Mamie Sun 22-Sep-13 11:54:12

I haven't filled it in because I am not in the UK (not sure why I am not allowed to though). I had a look through and it just reads a bit as if the questions are all about things that many parents (and especially experts on parenting) today would regard as "bad".
"Silly old Mother, what daft things to do..."
I would really like to see some robust evidence of the long-term effect of child-rearing practices. For example, health visitors were still insisting on the very early introduction of solids when I had my two. What is it that should have gone wrong by now? (They are in their early forties).

Mamie Sun 22-Sep-13 13:53:13

I think what is also bothering me is that I am not sure what the questions have got to do with bringing up children. They seem to be focussed on a few narrow practices in the first few months of caring for a baby. Can we honestly look at the population and work out the impact of doing or not doing certain things in the first six months?
Actually I think one source of stress that our children's generation has is the emphasis on competitive parenting and the fear that if you get something "wrong" then your child will be scarred for life.

Lona Tue 24-Sep-13 17:42:32

I've done it but I agree it was badly worded.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 24-Sep-13 19:25:36

Sorry for the delay in coming back to you on this blush - and thanks for all the useful feedback.

Thanks also to those who have completed the survey: we still do need more responses so please do complete it if you're yet to do so.

We've taken on board the comments re the questions and will try and be a bit clearer next time.

For now, we like you to pick the top 2-3 joys/ frustrations as otherwise it's very tempting for folks to tick all options and we then don't get to the 'real' response. We're looking for your biggest sources of joy and frustration.
If your responses would vary by child/grandchild please do either answer as broadly as you can or think about one child/grandchild when answering.
On other questions it is just your broad opinion we are after.

Lastly, of course we welcome any other feedback/comments on the subjects raised in the survey, so don't be shy. As if... grin

petallus Tue 24-Sep-13 22:14:17

Don't like answer options. For instance i tried to stick to a four hourly feeding schedule but I didn't approve of it. I was a young naive mother who was afraid to go against what the health visitor told me it was essential to do.

nonnasusie Wed 25-Sep-13 13:21:42

Why is the survey only for UK gransnetters? I lived in the UK until 5 years ago therefore my children were brought up there and still live there as do my GC!!

Mamie Wed 25-Sep-13 16:33:59

I think it is probably something to do with the prize money, nonasusie. As I am backwards and forwards to the UK all the time being a Granny, I would have no trouble spending it, but I suspect non-residence in the UK makes it difficult. Would be nice to know why though, GNHQ?

Brahaspatinda Wed 25-Sep-13 17:57:54

Like the 'offers' on Gransnet, I don't get to play properly because I don't live it the UK (despite questions in the surveys about proximity!). Must try harder, Gransnet.