Would you lie to such an extreme?

Oh dear - is your friendship good enough to survive this?
What a very unfair thing to do to those who care for her.
Like crying “Wolf” isn’t it?
I might well find myself withdrawing from this relationship.
And in answer to your question, No way.

I would ask outright if she had had work done and if the answer was yes, I would never trust her again and would find it hard to forgive her for putting her friends through this worry.
Why did her son lie for her I wonder.

Well certainly not to an extent of using such subterfuge, I'll admit to small white lies occasionally. If she wanted to have the bags removed from under her eyes, some people do, why not just say so, it's her face to do with as she wishes. Possibly she fears other people's judgement about that, her appearance is clearly very important to her. Extraordinary! but people we think we know can surprise us at times.

Oh goodness I had a neighbour once who did that about a facelift she had. Knowing I was a nurse and probably looking very intently at her face she confessed but swore me to secrecy.
As to your friend if she like her and she is otherwise a good friend I would allow her her 'secret' it will probably come out one day over a glass of wine.

If u ask the question and she says no she hasn't that's even more awkward, it's sounds like she isn't going to admit to it if true

Perhaps you could ask her if her car is being repaired or has it been written-off by the insurance company? Sorry I am feeling rather cynical this morning...........

How sad that she has had to lie to a good friend. Is she so insecure that she has to fabricate an accident to cover up her 'injuries'? I wonder why she just couldn't tell the truth, have a good laugh, and enjoy her new looks without worrying what others will think? To answer your qestion, No, I wouldn't do that.

Thank you all - yes I suppose I will always be her friend but will be very qdisappointed if I am right in my assumption! also the car supposedly involved that my friend was supposedly in was in fact a cab taking her to work ...

Oh really?!

The web of unnecessary deceit increases. Taxi? Whether you stay friends or not, the fact is you will doubt whatever she tells you in future and friendship without trust will need re defining.
I had my eyes done too, didn't tell anyone beforehand, but nor did i spin a yarn. Just said nothing til people asked, and was super pleased with result.

In a taxi on the motorway?

Celebrities lie all the time about having work done on their faces and bodies. I guess it’s wanting people to think their youthful looks are natural and that they are somehow superior because of that.

I suppose if you’ve always been attractive and are used to admiration it’s hard to see it go.

I had a friend who lied to me about her daughter having post natal depression to cover up her own need to be with her grandchild every day. I didn’t like it at all.

I have come to think though that she lied because she thought I would judge her for that. So my fault as much as hers?

I don't know who these people think they are fooling. OK, maybe some cosmetic surgery is undetectable (in which case why bother?) but in many women, it's immediately obvious because of that stretched look around the mouth, more prominent cheekbones. and the slightly cat-eyed look they can end up with.

That's OK, it's their choice, but why lie, especially to old friends? You're not going to be taken in, and you know exactly how old she is. If women colour their hair, wear lipstick, use fake tan, they don't usually pretend they haven't. Your friend seems to be ashamed or embarrassed at what she's doing, but It's sad that she is putting her own vanity before the need for honesty with her friends.

I'd call her out directly.

"I don't believe you were in a car crash at all as it's obvious you've had cosmetic surgery to remove your eye bags! Getting your son to phone me to say you were in a car crash caused me distress as I was really worried about you!"

If she continues to lie then lie back and say you've contacted the National Data base for traffic accidents and that no such crash happened on that date on that motorway!

I think that was a dreadful thing to do. Not lying about cosmetic surgery, but getting her son to say she had been in a serious road accident.

I have experience of being told that DD had been in a serious accident and suffered serious injuries. Previously that a good friend had been similarly injured. It is truly distressing and worrying to receive such news. Did your friend have so little thought for other people that she never even considered what effect it would have on them.

If anyone did that to me, it would bring the relationship to a sudden and complete end no matter how long I had known her. Its not the lie, it is the thoughtless self-centred carelessness of the excuse she chose to use.

You're a better person than I am anneishere - I don't think I could keep a friendship going with someone who doesn't trust me.

If I was being really naughty I would suggest to her that as she was in a cab at the time of her accident she should be able to get some compensation - and that could pay for the eye lifts she always wanted !

Wildswan16 - don’t tempt me ???????

I think that is appalling and I couldn't be friends with someone who did that.

My sister in law invented a very rare breast cancer that could only be treated in London so she travelled, on her own, First Class, once a week. She was having an affair. She is now my Ex SiL.

kittylester

How utterly vile!

Op, the next time you have your hair done or similar and she compliments you, reply "After your awful car crash which resulted in your eye bags disappearing, every time I want to look better I give my car a little nudge and Voila, great hair!"

Oh yes you should ask if she could claim from the cabs insurance? Ask her which cab company it was, so you can avoid them ? Where did she have her op? They’ve made a good job of your under eye area haven’t they? Did they use a cosmetic surgeon.?
Otherwise just come out with it- did you really have an accident? I may be totally ridiculous, but some things don’t add up. If you can’t face it, just give her a wide berth.

Wasn't there some suspicion over the story that Barry Manilow had surgery on his nose after allegedly walking into a wall?

Do you know for certain that she wasn’t in an accident anne?

I’m not sure I’d want the sort of friend who scrutinises my eye bags in such detail that they then assume I’m lying about having had cosmetic procedures after I’d been in an accident.

There could be another explanation. Residual swelling after her trauma and surgery could have had the same effect as cosmetic fillers.
Last year I was bitten on my face by a mosquito and the resulting swelling obliterated the nose-to-mouth groove on that side of my face for about two weeks.

I would ask the question outright, but would preface the question by saying that your friendship depends upon being given an honest answer.

If you are certain that there was no road accident then I guess you have to accept that her vanity and her ego are more important to her than consideration for her friends who were, as a result of her deceit, upset, alarmed and spent time worrying about her. Having cosmetic procedures is fine if you have the money and nothing better to spend it on...but lying in this callous this way to old and dear friends? No way.