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An embarrassing, "sh**ty problem

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Nan2six Mon 07-Dec-20 15:15:56

Hello Gransnetters, my first post on Gransnet, but I read daily. Something wisdom and common sense here.
I really don't know how to talk to my DH of 30 years about a personal hygiene problem which has become worse the last year. Basically (and sorry to be gross) he is just not wiping thoroughly after a poo, and a few times I've noticed a less than fragrant smell when he gets up from the settee. I have just thrown all his jeans in the wash, after they seriously failed a confirmatory sniff test. I'm fretting about how to tackle telling him he needs to wipe better. I leave moist wipes in the loo, hoping he'll use them, but not actually said outright.
Any suggestions on how I can tactfully bring the subject up? He's a very defensive man and will disagree with me on principle.

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phoenix Wed 09-Dec-20 09:03:49

So pleased to hear he is taking the first step.

Good wishes to you both.

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Luckygirl Wed 09-Dec-20 09:04:58

You have been with this man 30 years - he is your life partner. Just tell him.

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Redhead56 Wed 09-Dec-20 09:19:39

I hear this a lot about husbands maybe he thinks toilet roll is on ration. When putting a wash on I suggest you tell him his underpants are very soiled. Suggest. He wipes more because if he doesn’t you will just bin his underpants rather than wash them. I would also tell him he smells which is obviously not pleasant to be around.

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Marydoll Wed 09-Dec-20 09:22:58

I'm so pleased to hear that you have had that conversation with your husband, Nan2six.
Now that he has made the decision to speak to his GP, he will get the help he needs.
I hope you are feeling less anxious about it all. flowers

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Nadateturbe Wed 09-Dec-20 09:41:36

It's so good that Gransnet has been able to help.

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sodapop Wed 09-Dec-20 12:38:05

That is a relief for you Nan2six I'm sure there will be help and treatment available for him.

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nadateturbei Wed 09-Dec-20 12:46:13

Yes, Nan2six hope your OH gets sorted soon.

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B9exchange Wed 09-Dec-20 12:59:31

The poor man must be worried sick, I do hope your GP is understanding and prepared to investigate thoroughly. DH is going to need a lot of support and reassurance that this is a joint problem and you will get through it together.

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Luckygirl Wed 09-Dec-20 15:06:23

Good to hear that he is taking the right steps to sort this out - well done for taking with him about it.

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Fennel Wed 09-Dec-20 18:10:52

Yes, well done Nan2six. If it is haemorrhoids they do sometimes bleed.

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grandtanteJE65 Sat 12-Dec-20 13:06:36

It sounds to me you are making an assumption here, when you say he isn't wiping himself properly.

Are you quite sure that is the problem? Are you certain he isn't passing a little motion when he passes wind?

Either way, you need to man up and tell him that you have noticed the smell and that you are worried that he might have problems with his digestion or his bowels.

If it is just purely lack of hygiene I suggest you ask him to wash after passing a motion and provide a basin, cloth and towel so he can do so. Wet wipes strike me as an unnecessary expense, after all there is soap and water to hand in the bathroom.

If it isn't just not wiping himself properly, you need to get him to the doctor.

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Calendargirl Sat 12-Dec-20 15:34:43

Please let us know how he gets on at the doctor’s, Nan2six.

Hope it is something that is easily sorted.

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Patsy70 Sun 13-Dec-20 17:40:00

Hope all goes well at the GPs Nan2six, and that the problem is easily resolved.

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