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What would you have done with your life if things had been different?

(88 Posts)
Bellesnan Thu 25-Aug-11 09:58:10

Don't know if this has come up before but thought it might be interesting to see what us grans might have done if we had had the chances/opportunities that kids today have. Or did you achieve your goal? I would have loved to study history and go on archaeological digs. I love all TV programmes about history and Time Team does it for me! Sadly too many aches and pains to do it now...

fieldwake Fri 04-May-12 16:15:02

Ah just read all these what moving stories. Glad tha babies found their mums. I could see myself objectively from these, I went along with the crowd, felt guilty because I didn't want to stay at Domestic Science college and the teachers thought I was naughty to leave. I had no self knowledge or confidence. I did suddenly rebel at 34 and joined the womens movement but had to carry on with the choices I had made. Though like others I can't imagine not having the children and grand children. My mother said in her 80's your life is all mapped out for you, meaning herself. I can see what she means, even knowing what I do now I am glad most things happened.

When I first lived on my own at 58 I went shopping for food and thought 'what do I like?' and started eating alsorts of different things and so enjoyed it. At 60 when I retired I got lead to bingo, committees, coffee mornings not knowing what I wanted or liked. 12 years down the line I have done archaeology, been on the stage, enjoyed my own company, tried and rejected numerous things and still questioning what do I really want before blindly agreeing to go along with others.

I try to let the grandchildren see their choices and avoid such a lot of dead ends and wasted years. But they have so many choices now and are so busy.

BoomerBabe Mon 07-May-12 18:09:51

I always told my kids to follow their talents. Make a career out of what you enjoy and life becomes so much easier. Take your chances when they occur and don't be afraid. More and more I see life as a series choices, forks in the road. When you come to one you make a decision and wham! the future changes forever.
So choose wisely and follow your heart.
Me, I wish I'd worked harder at school and had someone to give me the advice I gave my kids. I made wrong choices, ignored what I was good at in the pursuit of new experiences. It wasn't a disaster, one door closes and another opens, but when I look back I see so many missed opportunities.
The biggie is that I confused first sex with love and got married too soon and the really annoying thing is that deep down, I knew it but went ahead anyway.
Abandoned in my fifties and living alone for the first time (scary!), I finally found some wisdom and some confidence to really be myself and live my own life.
My children say that I have "flourished", a lovely word, a great feeling!
I'll never be that brilliant musician/artist/writer that I might have been but I'm truly happy and content. In my sixties now, life is sweet.

dorsetpennt Mon 07-May-12 20:23:14

I too had a baby at 19 and unmarried. I was in a Mother and Baby Home in Hampstead for 6 before and 6 weeks after having my son, he was then adopted. We had no choice then - either financially, careerwise or parental. Too long a story. He too found me when he was 36 years old, that was 10 years ago and we all [two other grown up children] get on very well.Would I change the past and not had him, and not had my career interrupted? No not all. However, I did get married at 23 years old and I didn't fufil half of the things I wanted to - especially travelling with my career. However, before I got married I did live in Geneva for a year and when married lived in NY for 7 years. I would have loved to have gone to uni but afer 19 schools it just wasn't possible. I would have loved a History degree and gone on to to do research . Ahb well, I still had a great life.

granjura Mon 07-May-12 20:56:15

Who knows - what is the point of going back. We can never change the past - ans pending too much time trying to do so, stops you going forwards and making changes for your future smile

whenim64 Mon 07-May-12 21:08:20

dorset flowers I'm so pleased for you that you have all your family around you now.

pompa Mon 07-May-12 21:16:00

As you say Granjura, you cannot go back. I would have liked to have had our children earlier, but things prevented that. Had we had them younger, I might now be saying, I wish we had them later.
All in all I am happy with the outcome of my life.

NannaAnna Mon 07-May-12 23:28:45

This isn't even a question that enters my head.
In my experience life takes so many unexpected twists and turns, and it really is something that 'happens, while you are making plans'
As others have said, "if life had been different you wouldn't be who you are", and why would you not want to be who you are?
I don't believe in regrets. I take opportunities - often very random ones, and even if they don't work out, at least I know I 'gave it a go'
That's all you can aim for, I think smile

Jams Mon 07-May-12 23:59:50

I always wanted to be a nun.

mmm - things turned out rather differently lol.

soop Thu 10-May-12 11:55:43

I wanted to be a dress designer. Had a scrapbook and drew dresses using smoothed out, shiny, toffee papers as examples of fabric. I was about seven at the time. My well-meaning father told me...'artists starve in garrets'...sad

Annika Thu 10-May-12 12:11:56

I wanted to be a photographer, but that didn't happen .. or did it, yes its true I didnt make a living at it but on the other hand I have married, had three wonderful children, I have three grandchildren and my life as on the whole been very happy and I have photos, hundreds of them showing my life over the years.
Would I do things differently if I could go back in time, yes a bit, but I am sure I would still have married, but I would have waited a little longer , and I would have had children later than I did. I was 20 when I had my first child.

gillybob Thu 10-May-12 13:18:32

Don't know where to start with this one but I guess it would be easier to say what would I do the same and then the answer would be simple, nothing.

I don't know whether I am just feeling sorry for myself at the minute but have this sinking feeling that it is all just slipping by and I can't do anything about it. I had my children very young and let a potentially excellent career slip after getting pregnant, marrying a waste of space and having to take on a rubbish job to support us all. Finding myself a single parent and had to do whatever to make ends meet. I always thought having my kids young would mean that I would have time to myself as I got older but I couldn't be further wrong. Work full time in a stressful environment doing a job I hate, have elderly parents who need help, even more elderly granny, 3 grandchildren who I have 2 days a week including overnight (I adore them so wouldn't change this for the world). Can't remember when I last had a holiday 9or even a weekend break)as don't even bother to book them now as have had to cancel so many at the last minute I have lost count.

What can I do to change things?

mgwnzy Fri 11-May-12 18:46:13

I was a bank manager for several years, but in my day-dreaming moments I always wanted to be a pantomime dame.