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Am i wrong to support my daughter.

(78 Posts)
suzy Fri 08-Nov-13 18:26:53

Six months ago my daughter split up with her husband after a violent incident for which he was prosecuted. My two grandchildren were one and five years old.I look after the one year old for two days a week while she works. She has coped well but it has been hard as she had to flee the house for a few weeks untill she got him out. Had only just started a new job, had to take over the morgage without any money from her husband. And try and live as normal a life for her 5 year old. The youngest has yet to sleep through the night! She has also had to cope with legal matters regarding the house and his court case. She only has me to be ther for her, which i am very happy to do.My 5 year old grandson misses his dad and i do lots of things with him. But my partner of 8 years who i dont live with says she is being selfish for wanting me to help out so much and should learn to stand on her own two feet. I try to spend as much time with him but its hard splitting my time. He has grandchildren but has never been hands on with them. I have always done a lot with my other grandchildren. I just dont know how to handle it.
Any advise please would be welcome.

Iam64 Sun 12-Jan-14 08:38:52

Suzy - behaviour patterns in relationships are hard to break. As Marellie says, stay strong - don't compromise yourself to the point you aren't you any more.

nanatoeight Fri 17-Jan-14 04:14:18

We all seem to be of the same mind. You are absolutely doing the right thing for your family and although you also deserve your own life they need more of your time, at the moment. Your partner seems unable to appreciate what your daughter has been through and why you need to help her. This is a shame as I am sure you could do with his love and support at a time when you must be worried for your daughter. It may be worth explaining to him again why you are doing this, adding that he is important to you as well but your daughter must take priority for the foreseeable future. If he is any sort of a man he will realise that of course you need to put her first and that you and he will get your own time together in the future. I am trying to think the best of him as he is someone who you obviously think is worthwhile. Maybe if he reads some of these comments he will gain a perspective on the matter. I wish you and your daughter well and hope that you are through the worst!