Cut out of their lives 3

Hi all well 2nd scan over! Was lovley of Chris our friend to take me and guess what they saw me early as was there with him! Camera had Problem so had to wait little while, so glad over, 2 weeks for results.

Not feeling good as flare up of ibs all stress reckon.

We have written typed letter to daughter ref photo etc and I put in handwritten note too which made me cry.

Life can be so hard we not posted yet but after week thinking both felt we needed to say something! Have also told her about My tests also she is my daughter!

Morning Celebgran. Well done on your scan and I hope the results come back with good news for you. So you've written to your D, I hope it was therapeutic for you, all you have to do now is post it! then cross your fingers and toes, all us grans on here will do the same for you, just imagine if you got a good response! I really hope you do
I managed to teach my Yoga last night, but was bad during the night with this rotten flu! Meeting up with friends at 1pm today for a ladies lunch at the casino, so I'm hoping I will be well enough by then, not feeling good at the mo. but might make me feel better going out instead of mopping at home, hope this is the end of it now.
I heard back from the courts and after paying a small fee, will be getting a copy of my original application, so I'm pleased about that as I couldn't be sure if they still held the papers.

Smileless, you do, do very well for a technophobe. Don’t worry you wont need an injection if you behave . I hope your Mum is well on the way to recovering well now.

Celebgran, well good luck I hope your Husband does something to see if you can reverse anything, it is very debilitating at times for us all. So glad you still got your fish and chips when you went dancing. Health, glad your BP has decreased; I do hope the 2nd scan goes well. Your H sounds very supportive (as they should be ).

My hip is a lot better after the cortisone injection, thank goodness.

Well Grans, I decided to write to my daughter today, which I’ve done via email. My first attempt was a bit emotive, so my H did the second attempt, which I went with, as below:-

I am writing this email to see if you would allow us to see the children and them to see us. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen them and both they and us are missing out on the kind of experiences we have had with them over the past 9 years.

The last email I sent may not have been phrased correctly, but was never intended badly. I was just trying to show how we have supported and loved you and your family during some difficult times.

I am more than happy to talk with you if you would like, as I miss my daughter more than anything. I apologise for anything I’ve done, that has caused you upset, everything I have done has been with the best intentions.

I appreciate that you now have a very busy life, so if us seeing the children, even for a few hours, would help you to have some free time then we would be more than happy to do this.

If you would rather contact H than me, that would be fine. I am willing to respect your wish to have nothing to do with me, even though this saddens me.

I want you to know I am always here for you, and will always love you, the door is always open.

Lots of Love
Mum

I am terrible, I just couldn’t let go without one more chance. So keep your hands together or fingers crossed for us. If nothing, then I will just soldier on, without worry too much, as this is not fair on me or my H, or the GC. But it’s her choice.

Yogagirl, hope your man flu is better by now. Such as shame that your ND had to say prepare yourself mum they look so different, all grown up, she shouldn’t have needed to say that, but because your D & SIL wont let you see them, she was trying to protect you, very ND indeed. Glad you managed to teach your Yoga class the yesterday. Hope you enjoy your ladies lunch at the casino. Also, thrilled that you’ve heard back from the courts and will be getting a copy of your original application. You go girl.

Nightowl, hope your horrible report was done in time.

Marelli, dreams are horrible some time. I had a nightmare of one last night about one of my GS and my ex!!

Sugarpuff, sorry to hear your having more stress on top of what your going through due to our selfish children. I am soo soo sorry to hear about you having a heart attack, hope you are much better and trying to get a wee bit more positivity into your life.

Sometimes we think we can’t go on, but we’re tougher than we think. & for all of us lovely ladies.

Oh Librachick your letter brought a tear to my eye, such a sad situation we are all in, I wish you the best of luck and I really hope you get a positive response from your D, it was a lovely, well put together letter . I'm feeling so sad because I'm getting used to not seeing my beloved D and GC and I don't want to get used to it, I want them back in my life, with the little phone calls from my Laila saying "Hello nannie, love you"
My flu is still bad, rotten night last night, but did get to my 'Ladies lunch', which was lovely.

Nice letter Libra. From the heart and no strings, only offers of love and practical support.

Sugarpuff so sorry to hear of your health problems I can only say that you should keep the door open for your DD and when she realises that she needs help just be there for her,take care of yourself and keep watch of how things are going I know how hard it is when a SIL is difficult. ((hugs))

Fist of all yogagirl do hope you feeling Lots better and sorry for delay In Saying that been stressful week! Horrid to have that flu thing especially now weather Better.

Thank you ladies for good wishes, was great get second scan over, and nurses were so helpful as there early with my friend they saw me early!
Got wait 2 weeks for results!

Libra do hope you get positive response, thanks for sharing that it was lovely letter and keeping everything crossed your daughter sees that!

We did post ours on Monday I did little handwritten note which made me cry, saying I can't put Into words how much I miss her and sorry I go I wrong and was not he mum she wanted, but wished her well always and glad she go family she yearned for.
Typewritten letter more to the point asking to see our life Grandaughters maybe once month. Also saying how very distressed we were she blocked us before putting photo on Facebook! Plus like you libra changed my mind and told her about my heart scans.

She will have read it by now. Sadly doubt she will respond.

We went out for yummy curry with her godparents on wed. We were suprised as they were close they never been see her (s I law rang them to cut them out) however her godmother has now offered to go with my husband If he would like, we thinking on that.

Off hairdresser this morning get colour/cut done!
Then we of out for meal tonight to posh place were going for husband birthday but was not so well. 2 courses only as weight coming off slowly!

Happy Friday to us all.

Afternoon ladies. Sorry for not being on for a while. Had to do battle with the hospital and social services over mum as they were going to discharge her yesterday even though the safety rails we've been told she needs haven't been fitted yet and she's still unsteady on her feet and in a lot of pain .

Got very stroppy with the staff nurse but it did the trick and mum was moved to a care home yesterday as although she doesn't need nursing care, she does require more help than we can give her, and she could be there for 2 weeks. The most amazing place, like a 5 star hotel so relieved that we got things sorted out in the end.

Pleased your scan went well Celebgran 2 weeks is a long time to have to wait for the results but keeping everything crossed for that and that you get a positive response to your letter.

What a lovely letter Librachick I hope and pray that you'll be able to see your dear gc; everything crossed for you too.

You're both so courageous. My hubby has mentioned about us trying to contact our s but I'm too afraid. Afraid of getting a nasty reply or no reply at all and afraid of not being able to hold it together while we wait.

Hope you're feeling a lot better Yogagirl. Judging by the way you've been feeling I don't think it's been man flu, sounds like it's been the real thing to me to cheer you up.

Hope you got your report finished in time Nightowl. Hope you're both doing OK Dollie and Sugarpuffairy

I'd best get on now, a least catching up on here has given me a chance to sit down after my session at the gym this morning; convinced they're trying to kill me off .

My lovely s's bday today so 'phoned him in Aus. Not quite the same but better than nothing. Sent him hugs down the 'phone and in just over 4 weeks will be able to hug him for real .

and for us all.

Whoa hey smileless that coming round quick. How exciting trip to Aus i. Just over 4 weeks, must be just before Easter we got week d away Mother's Day planned, and hope see my son too as littlecote house not too far from him.

Sorry you had stress with your mum. Glad you got nursing home sorted.

Not expecting reply feel I bit upset that I wrote again but hey ho have to go with your heart !

Good weekend to us all, feel so much better now had hair do!

Sending you all the best of wishes and for a bit of in your lives. Libra, your email to your DD was in much the same tone as the letter I sent my own DD a couple of months ago. I've heard nothing, but I really didn't expect to. They all know we're here for them and that we always, always will be. Totally unconditional love. xx

Oh Celebgran well done on writing your little hand written note to your D along with the typed one, that was a good Idea, I would love to do that myself, but the time is not right for mine, even though its been 15mnths since this all happened to me, 15mnths! I can't believe I haven't seen them in all that time Thanks for asking re flu (and Smileless), I'm better, slept well last night, first time in a week, but still not right . Hope you get a reply to your lovely hand written letter, fingers and toes crossed
Well done Smileless in sorting things for your mum, she's in the best place, being kept an eye on till she's better and strong enough to return home, for you and for your mum . Lovely that you can wish your S happy b/day all the way over in Oz, and you'll be with him in no time , how wonderful!
Marelli

morning all...just caught up with everyone...i hope everyone has improved healthwise the stress our kids cause dont help when we are feeling poorly..

in my circumstances ive found the more ive sent messages letters emails etc the more its pushed my younger daughter away and the angrier shes got so ive stepped back and the ball is in her court she knows where i am if she needs me...

the relationship with my older daughter is very strained more so as shes acting like nothings happened and im having a hard time dealing with that..she has called in to see me on the rare occasion with an ulterior motive!!! so that doesnt help the situation...im never asked aroundto her house and she knows i rarely get out because of ill health!! likewise the grandkids they only seem to call when they want something (they are both adults now)

i rejoined facebook as a friend told me about a local history group of the village i live in and i sent friend requests to both grandkids which was accepted...it was the eldest ones birthday on friday so i sent a card i got a thankyou on facebook!!!! i also saw on facebook that the 'family' all had afternoon tea at a country hotel to celebrate her birthday and once again i was excluded!!!! i have unfollowed the grankids on facebook so i dont have to see their posts on my timeline...i hope when they have kids of their own they will do the same to them as its only then they will realise how hurtful theyve been...end of rant!
for you all

Good hear from you Dollie.

Have sneaky feeling it does not help writing to our daughter,just whe decide not to something happens ie seeing photo of little ones, especially daisy and baby Lola who we never seen.

Part of me wanted to let her know about my health problems also.
It would be lovley to get a response, but have already tried to accept that she does. Not want us in her life at the moment for whatever reason and our s I law is totally determined to block her entire family.

Very sad news a good friend dies on Friday,her daughter is expecting next month poor girl so sad. Should have expected it knew she was so ill but it was shock she was lovely friend so kind and supportive.

Well on brighter note sun out and take. Nights down, husband at work today so going keep busy!

Have good day all of you hope your mum ok sounds like good care smileless and yogagirl hope that flu on way out.

Libra do hope you get positive response.

Hello Dollie I feel a song coming on lol. I'm with you re 'ball in D court', I've written so many heart reaching letters to her, I don't think I can say it all again, its all been said! But I always have it in mind to do just that. My D would do the same as your eldest I'm sure, just resume as if nothing has happened, so I think to myself how would I deal with that, as I would want to tell her of the years of misery she has put me through and I would want some answers as to why? I would re-friend your GD on FB, I know you're hurt and upset at their treatment of you, but if you stay in touch that would hopefully change in time
Sorry to here about your friend passing Celebgran, how sad she will not see her baby GC , an old friend of mine suddenly died of a heart attack, she was a Tai-Chi teacher, I haven't seen her for a few years but it still takes you aback, her funeral is this Thursday.
I met a friend after my Yoga class, we went to Two Tree Island, it was so sunny and warm, we had a lovely walk along the river banks and lunch in the Tea-gardens. Hope you and your mum are OK Smileless.

Ive not unfriended gd on facebook libra just unfollowed that means her posts wont show up on my page but i can look at her page if i want to..

Evening ladies. Hope you all had a good weekend and a good Monday. TV is on at the moment and mother's day ads have started it never seems to end does it. Hubby suggested we go out for lunch as our s is in Oz but I don't want to go out on mothering Sunday, so will probably cook lunch for my mum instead.

for you dear Dollie. It's so sad that your rel. with your eldest D is strained and that you feel when she does visit she has an ulterior motive.; like wise your adult gc. I can understand why you find it difficult when she behaves as if nothing has happened, it must be very hard for you. I still wonder if we should try contacting our s again, but I'm sure that if we did it would only make him react in the same way your younger D has.

Lovely that you got a face book thank you for the bday card you sent your gc; it's amasing how much comfort can be derived from small acts of kindness. I hope you've had some today and if so, it's helped make you feel a little brighter.

Sorry to hear about your friend Celebgran how sad for her daughter that her mum will never see her child. It's still early days since sending your letter so don't give up hope, I'm still keeping every thing crossed for you and Librachick.

That's some thing I've often wondered about Yogagirl. If we did resume contact with our s I know it wouldn't do any good to rake over what's happened but how can you just pick up from where you left off. It's such a horrible situation for us all to be in. Still wake up some mornings and can;'t believe this has actually happened.

On a positive note mum is doing well bless her. It's awful to see the extent of her bruising and swollen hand but at least she's settled in to the home; has her own TV and gets a with her lunch .

Hope everything is OK with you Nightowl, Sugarpuff and Marelli.

Thank you, Smileless - all's ok here. x

Your mum sounds like she's doing alright Smileless, wine with meals! Glad she's on the mend, thats a weight of your mind at leastfor you & for your mum
I notice Gransnet has 91 non members paying 30pounds a time! I find that a bit disturbing, who are they? Tiger isn't on here anymore is she?

No yogagirl I also find that disturbing I feel tiger was collecting information.

Agree wine with meals can't be bad smileless!

Busy day with diaghter godmother yesterday waxing and pedicure and lots of chat she always does me lunch, still lot work as well!

Off acquacise today though feel got cold coming.

Agree with yogagirl Dollie glad you not deleted Grandkids. My niece deleted me. And. It hurt so much the she tried to lie about it, still her loss cutting her little girls off from their dad is horrid also. What sort world is it. Now?

Glad you ok Marelli, best get off her acquacise today.
Friends coming lunch tomorrow so shops and spot cooking, doing Buffett
Sun not out yet bit chilly here in frinton!

How do you know who is a member or not?

What do you mean minty or have i missed something..

dollie, I was uncertain as to the posts above, about 19 members and people paying £30? This bit :*I notice Gransnet has 91 non members paying 30pounds a time! I find that a bit disturbing, who are they? Tiger isn't on here anymore is she?*
Didn't really know what constitutes 'member'
Sorry to be thick.

i have no idea minty perhaps someone can enlighten us???

Well I take it we are all members and press or someone garthering material to write a book are non-members paying 30pounds for the previlege!

Those who pay £30 a time are using the http://www.gransnet.com/forums/media_non_member_requests topics.