dirty old men

Sorry, this is sexual harassment and should NEVER be tolerated. if he tries anything the next time, say in a very loud voice "you are sexually harassing me (and say exactly what he is doing). If you continue I WILL report you to the police. I have witnesses who have now heard me warning you". If he then continues, you must report him to the police. His comments "may" in his mind be harmless banter but could hide something more sinister so the police would give him a verbal warning at the very least and undertake some background checks. Often these folk get off on your embarrassment and the fact you are likely not to say anything as he can then say you let him on etc. Letting everyone in the room know you won't tolerate his behaviour may give other ladies he pesters the courage to stand up to him too. He may then get bored and leave the group.

Never hit him (unless it's self defence) or you could be prosecuted. Even accidently on purpose spilling water on him could be construed as an assault so verbal warning only UNLESS he physically tries to touch you. Then remove his hand and say loudly "how DARE you touch me in that manner, if you touch me like that again, I will contact the police"

People have been done for assault for throwing water over someone. Best not do it.

Grabba, Sugarpuffairy, sillyoldbird and Annamika all very sensible suggestions.

Ethel this is just awful to have to put up with and very hard to just ignore. It's assault and you shouldn't have to deal with it alone. Telling someone to stop doesn't always work either.

You would hope the other people at the art class would band together and tell this man his behaviour is inappropriate and to leave. Sadly people more often than not don't speak up.

I never minded wolf whistles. I did find unwanted attention on crowded trains, men forcing their legs between your knees when you were sitting and they were standing. Hands up your skirt (mini). I used to balance on one stilleto heel on their foot. If they yelled, you had the wrong man lol. I remember once saying to a man 'would you mind telling this man to keep his hands to himself' but he just turned away embarrassed. I was 18.

Etheltbags - is this a self help group or is there a conveyor or organiser? Even if it's informal someone 'in charge' should listen to you and deal with your unpleasant problem. Where is the group held? If it's a college, hospital or community centre I'm sure someone senior would want to know about such harassment on the premises for which they are responsible.
Does the man, if ill or mentally disabled, need a lot more supervision than he currently gets?
Anyway I hope you do find a solution so that you can enjoy your art group in peace again.

No this is not a self help group just a few people in the community centre, most are elderly or had health prob and I thought it ideal as I was getting over my op. Elrel.

Tell him you are going to the police for sexual harresment then make a point of taking names of those around you as your witnesses

wendy the wolf whistles are disgusting, how dare they assume that we women are so flattered to get attention from a man that we will like a whistle. They are depraved we have moved on from simpering little dolls who blush and enjoy wolf whistles. I always used to put up 2 fingers if they whistled me.

Have you decided what you are going to do?

I would feel inclined to tell him to 'F* off and find someone his own age to molest' - easier said than done.

You could ask other class members for their support and protection.

I was once told that people take one of 3 rôles in any interaction. They are Parent, Child or Adult.
This man is being Child, pushing to see what he can get away with. He sees you as Child, not sure what to do, or Parent, indulging him.
You need to be Adult, taking control of the situation and making sure he gets the message to stop his offensive behaviour.

Sorry Ethel don't think my earlier suggestion was very helpful, it was just my first reaction to his awful behaviour.

I think there are a lot of helpful suggestions here.

Best of luck.

I would be tempted to say loudly "Harry that sort of comment/ behaviour is considered sexual harassment these days "

Oops 'convenor', not 'conveyor' in my post above, wish I could edit!
I can see why the group appealed to you. It ought to be calm and friendly and a chance to spend a few hours at absorbing activities in good company. The man's behaviour, whatever the reason, is ruining it for you.
I don't know what police/community relations are like in your home area but an informal word with a (female?) police officer could perhaps help you better assess your uncomfortable situation and possible ways of dealing with it. I hope you're on your way to a full recovery to good health .

I think it would be good to get to your feet and say loudly and clearly that you find his harassing behaviour unacceptable and if it continues you will go to the police.
Elrel's idea of having a word with a policewoman is a good one as he may be making a nuisance of himself elsewhere or even with children.

Ethelbags1 I always took wolf whistles as a bit of fun and often waved back. Never felt they were disrespectful. Wouldn't mind getting a few now instead of being called dearie lol.

Grabba, Sugarpuffairy, sillyoldbird and Annamika all very sensible suggestions
spf you didn't think that my suggestion of squirting acrylic paint over his crotch was very sensible then?

Oh well, probably not, but it would be great fun.

I dont think it was me who said not to squirt him with paint. Personally I have my own problems with a perv who tried to take advantage of me when I was very ill. Funny that - Ethel was just after an operation. So not only is this guy a perv he picks on people he sees are weak. Like my situation. If Ethel gets the chance out of anyones sight stand on his feet, swing her walking stick, (dont use one? find one!) If this guy wont take a telling, if the police dont stop him the situation in fair game for any action.
Squirting paint would leave a noticeable mark. It is not wise to leave marks! LOL.
SPF

Spf

Make sure that you tell him what you think of his behaviour in a very loud voice in front of the rest of the class. If he isn't shamed into stopping then tell him you are going to report him to the police for harassment. You don't have to - just frighten him!

Sorry - I see I've more or less repeated what Alidoll suggested earlier! Well - it's after 7.30 and I should be in bed with my cocoa and my shawl. No, cocoa and shawl are not euphemisms!

Whatever happens - good luck. I hope you annihilate him.

Be aware that men like that if challenged will verbally fight back by saying things such as 'can't you take a joke' or belittling you in some way, so be ready to tell him how pathetic he is.

I went to the class last week and he was not there, I spoke to the guy in charge who is also his friend and the guy said 'well he is almost 90'. I replied that, 'that is no excuse for bad behaviour'.

I am thinking that I might stop going as they are all his friends and although no one has been unfriendly towards me I think that they might take the leaders side and agree that as he is nearly 90....blah blah.

etheltbags1 It would be a pity if you gave up doing something you enjoy because of this pest. Why not wait and see what happens? The person in charge might have been a bit embarrassed hearing about his friend's nasty behaviour, but that doesn't necessarily mean he will ignore it. Perhaps he'll have a quiet word.

Equally, maybe the pest's absence is karma and he has fallen down the stairs.

Hey flutter yes I can deal with him, in a normal setting I would have stood on his foot/poked him with my pencil/told him to ....off etc etc but this is a sedate group of older people and I feel that they are on his side due to his age.

As for ana, well, I don't let little things like that bother me, just a bit of fun lol