Everyday sexism

Perhaps, next time time my check out lady calls me "Love", I'll ask her not to be sexist. I don't think so, I will smile and accept the greeting in the manner it was given. I'm happy to spread the love.

wheniwasyourage, I know exactly what you mean. Its is not what they say, but the way that they say it and one can always recognise the tone of scarcely veiled patronage/condescension/contempt in some young men(especially)/young women's voices when they talking to older women.

I must live in a bubble, I haven't ever felt patronised by younger people and certainly never been treated with contempt! And I really couldn't care less whether I'm called love, darling, madam or guy, as long as it's in a friendly way.

I'm with you Maggie.

OP you raise an interesting wider point regarding everyday sexism. It takes different forms in our older years I find.
Recently a workman needed a tool he didn't have with him and asked if my hubby might have one in the garage. Since I do all the DIY in this house, the question jarred.

I wouldn't have taken offence rather I would have said, hubby hasn't got one, but if you ask wifey nicely, she may have one.

I do feel that some look for sexism etc, where none is intended. It seems it is the ladies complaining about sexism from men, but just as many ladies save "love" etc to men, and this one doesn't object.
And is it sexism when the check out lady says "love" to Mrs P. ?

Perhaps if we had more men on here they would be complaining as well.

I'd have been inwardly cringeing at the use of the word 'hubby', br0adwater, never mind the assumption that he'd be the one to keep a hammer in the garage!

Maggiemay totally agree - whenever I come up against everyday sexism I'm going to be sexist and agist and say it's usually an older man who is guilty of it. A few years ago I was at a conference and the last session before dinner was on equality and diversity.12 of us, majority women, then went down to eat and without blinking the 60+ bloke there picked up the wine list and kindly decided on the wine for all of us

I hope you all told him you didn't like his choice Rigby46! ?

florentina it was an Australian Chardonnay - if there's one thing worse than everyday sexism, it's a bottle of Australisn Chardonnay

?

That's not sexism, regardless of who was there, it's just rudeness, nothing to do with sexism, and if that's the best he could choose, a rubbish knowledge of wine (or just plain mean), was everyone having the same dishes ?

There are obviously too many young Gm's here, if a man was that much older than me he'd be dead.

Went out to lunch yesterday at our local restaurant that does a good line in 12 euro lunches for white van men (4 courses, coffee and wine or cider included). This is in France.

I ordered the tagine and got 2 sausages and a reasonable portion of a tasty couscous. Two van men came in a bit later, sat at the adjacent table, ordered the tagine, got three sausages and a huge mound of couscous, twice as much as I had.

if there's one thing worse than everyday sexism, it's a bottle of Australisn Chardonnay
I beg to differ, but then you do get what you pay for

ps I take it it wasn't a Margaret River Chardonnay (Cloudburst) or any decent estate bottled Chardonnay Rigby?

www.matchingfoodandwine.com/news/recent/20-top-australian-chardonnays/?tag=oysters

perhaps you only know about the six quid bottles from supermarkets.

It is sexist if the one man out of a dozen individuals takes it upon himself to order the wine. It's taking the traditional line, well that's one way of putting it. It's making assumptions and yes, it's rude, but in a gender specific way.

Wobblybits I agree entirely that it was rude - but then sexism is rude amongst other things.. My point was that I am sure his behaviour was due to the fact that we were mostly women and younger and that he as a man would know far more about wine than we possibly could. My hunch was that he would not have behaved like that with a group of men. But honestly the funniest thing of all was that we had just had the equalities and diversity session - you couldn't make it up.

Jalima I will let your posts stand for what they are - they say far more about you than they do about my knowledge of wine

Would it be usual, in that situation, for everyone to have the same wine?
Maybe the guy thought he was ordering for himself but the staff decided to give everyone the same?

Nice try FarNorth but he'd decided what we were drinking and that was it - it did however save our poor little heads from having to cope with the wine list . Bless.

That was a relief for you, then.

Jalima I will let your posts stand for what they are - they say far more about you than they do about my knowledge of wine

Actually, I think your original post said quite a lot about you!!
It was incredibly snobby

Rigby46 I disagree that it is mainly older men who are sexist.
I would suggest, sadly, that it tends to be younger men venting their misogynistic hatred on social media about women like Mary Beard or various women MPs.

True jane, plus with 24/7 porn piped into their brain from a young age women and girls become objects, not people. It's getting worse, not better. We all need to pull together and stamp out sexism as it is so harmful.

Are you just deciding to ignore the sexism that women direct towards men ? It would certainly seem so.

Ah yes, poor men, constantly objectified on every porn site, paid less, always expected to provide the caring role and childcare even though they work the same hours as their wives.

Poor men, always told to "smile love" or whistled at, vilified if they have a one night stand when women are just called ladettes and can sleep with who they like.

Poor men, won't somebody think about the sexism they suffer on a daily basis. Must be awful.