Or even a bit precious? Mother of the Bride outfit.

To be honest I told everyone (well family and MOG) what I would be wearing when I was MOB at daughter's wedding as I was terrified that someone would wear an identical outfit which would have beeen embarrassing! It was from a well known high street shop. I don't understand the need for secretiveness!

Your DD’s wedding is first, therefore everyone who sees both outfits will think the other woman copied your good taste.

have I missed the point here? I am presuming the other lady wont be coming to your daughter's wedding, so it wont matter if your outfits come from the same shop, and also you said your daughter's wedding was the first one. If you've found an outfit/shop that you love, go for it............! You are not being precious. Good luck!

I understand how you feel. I bought an outfit from Monsoon as I went to one of the queens garden parties. Every other outfit was the same or similar ( I'm exaggerating of course) but I decided that next time I'd be more particular in what I chose.

Dear Marion, dressing important events has always been a nightmare for me. My younger daughter’s wedding fifteen years ago was a nightmare, the mother of the groom is size 8, very dramatic, athletic and arty and I am size 20 and even then had mobility problems.
I think that the key to all this is “to your own self be true”.
Comfort is another thing to consider very carefully. These days weddings are a marathon, lasting late into the evening. I had two pairs of smart shoes, heels to wear for the ceremony and meal, flats to change into for the evening and dancing.
IMO the bride should be the only person wearing white or ivory. I was at a wedding where the mother of the bride entered the chapel wearing a full length white ensemble and everyone thought the bride had arrived and stood up. She was very embarrassed.
Choose your colour from what suits you best and make sure it doesn’t clash with the themed colour for the wedding, bridesmaids dress whatever. Also as you will be photographed with the bride’s family you should blend with her mother’s colour. Don’t worry about what your friend is having, on this occasion she is an also ran honoured guest.
I personally have a problem with spending a lot of money on clothes to be worn once, but if you fancy something expensive, why not?
At my daughter’s wedding I liked my outfit, felt comfortable in it and didn’t have a lot of time to think about what I looked like. As the mother of the groom you will have your invited guests to look after and also the groom and groomsmen.
Above all make sure you enjoy it. We have very few of these grand occasions in life.
I must say looking at the photographs afterward I thought I looked very matronly, but that is what I am and our children love us for what we are after all.
I do hope this advice isn’t obvious and patronising, it isn’t meant to be.
Hope you find something you feel fabulous in!

So sorry Marion somehow thought your son was getting married. As mother of the bride you will be even busier, hosting the whole event. And you and your daughter get to choose the theme colours! Have a lovely, lovely time. When is the wedding?

Perhaps in future it will teach you to keep your mouth shut if you find something to wear that you don't want others to copy but, honestly, anyone could have found the same shop and outfit by themselves without your help if it is the sort of place people go to for special occasion clothes.

When my DS married, the MOG and I consulted to ensure that we didn't buy the same colour and we both felt comfy in our outfits (apart from the shoes lol).

When my DD was getting married she asked to go shopping for my outfit with me. We chose a bright dress and a toning jacket which could be worn after to other events or even work. Her MIL is not the same generation as me and so was unlikely to be dressed in a similar way. Yes, it is the brides day but they usually want their Mum and MIL to look and feel good too.

Go for the dress you like and don't worry about anything else. If you want a mob outfit then have it! Go and try what you've seen on. There's just a chance that it won't be right. If it is get it. Do you have a trusted girlfriend you can take with you. I took a good friend who is 20 yrs younger than me and it worked well. Could your daughter go with you? Just a few ideas. Yes it is your daughters day but you're her mum. Good luck x

I had two pairs of smart shoes, heels to wear for the ceremony and meal, flats to change into for the evening and dancing.
I did that too and was very thankful for the lower-heeled sandals for the evening as you may also find you spend a lot of time walking around and chatting to all the guests after the formal meal.

I have been MOG twice and am going to be MOB next year.

Personally I would take your experience as lessoned learned and don’t tell others what you are wearing or where from, but do check that you and MOG are not wearing similar.

When buying your outfit make sure you are going to feel comfortable and are not going to be constantly adjusting and checking it , shoes need to be comfortable and at a height you are used to and the hat well the hat is something else. I kknow this all sounds obvious but once you are in that changing room all common sense goes out of the window actively encouraged by the sales person.
Enjoy your daughters wedding day and the camera will reflect your happiness not your dress size.

My dil helped me choose what we thought was suitable for my other sons wedding. He told me it wasn't smart enough and made me buy a much more expensive one. Dil has never spoken to him or his wife since. I thought she over reacted but she won't relent.

You will get to wear yours first - it will look as if she is copying you, which she is, to anyone who sees both sets of pics. You will look like you and she will look like herself. When the day comes your mind will be on other things anyway

Get some 'shape' underwear it does make a difference. I found Hobbs to be very good for MOB outfits.

Yes, work your curves as someone said upthread, at a size 14 you don’t need shape underwear. And accessorise with flair.

I might be wrong but isn’t ‘shape underwear’ those things you struggle to get into and break all your fingernails getting out of?

and have to take off after the photos, slinging it into the bin in the cloakroom?

Someone had told me that it was a good idea to consult with other mother so MoB and MoG weren’t wearing similar. I did that- dropping to her house for chat and described my dress (which I had bought half price in sale previous summer). I hadn’t yet got jacket and other accessories, but when I showed her photo of dress she said she might have jacket to suit. Turned out it was exact match- Jacques Vert brand. She had also bought in sale but hadn’t worn.
She also lent me a fascinator and bag (she had been given by a neighbour who’s a shopaholic! )
Sounds like I’m stingy, but it saved me an awful lot of trouble traipsing through shops. We all looked well and I told everyone about my borrowed items.
I’ve made that mistake before- buying a nice dress in sale and not having jacket to match- end up paying more than if got all together to start with.
Don’t know if any other bride’s mother here borrowed from groom’s!

I have wardrobes full of clothes I've bought for weddings, even though I've only been to a handful over the past few years. I think it's down to lack of confidence. I'd buy something and then find something I thought was better. With my childrens' weddings the reason I was so paranoid was that I felt that the only time future generations might see me was on the traditional wedding photo [oh, so that's what great great granny looked like!] so I wanted to look my best. Another wedding, I thought my ex husbands new girlfriend was coming so I wanted to look great . In the end, she never came. The only time I was really happy was at my daughters wedding where she took me in hand and got me to wear a Hobbs suit for the ceremony, and I then went 'hippy chic' [sp] for the evening do. I thought I looked fantastic in the last minute dress I bought for my son's wedding [I'd already bought several more] but I was bulging out everywhere in the wedding photos . I should have stuck with the original dress.

Farmor; me too. Bought a grey and red silk dress in a sale and then couldn't get a jacket/shrug etc to match it. Spent a fortune buying things I thought would be suitable and then didn't even wear it. Have put on so much weight recently none of those dresses fit me anyway . I tended to look for last years fashion so I wouldn't end up wearing the same dress as someone else.

Yet again feeling glad my older two never bothered with weddings, got lovely partners - DD 17 years, DS 10 and each with 2 beautiful children. Funnily enough I think our youngest DS might though, I'm happy either way.

When DS got married I bought two outfits, one a trouser suit and the other a dress and coat. I opted for the silk trouser suit that had a very flattering Nehru jacket but did wear the other outfit when staying in a chateau and required a posh frock. I bought my outfits in a small market town in Northumberland that stocked quite unusual Italian garments, so impressed I went back to get my outfit for the palace.
I kept all the garments but have not been able to fit into them for a few years now.

The shop wasn't in Alnwick was it? That's where I bought a few things from...

No I dont feel you are being precious at all. Its all about self respect and enjoyment of life. Perhaps you could think about seeing an image consultant or just having a good time trying different clothes on in different shops.
It is a very special day and people will look at the photos for years!
But the most important thing is the smile on your face.

I was mob 2 years ago and as someone who never wears dresses I was stumped in the end I wore a lovely dress with matching jacket that I bought in matalent and felt amazing no one knew where it was from and no one cared and I didn't spend a fortune on something that will probably never see light of day again. Worn the jacket loads