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AIBU

To be very annoyed at this ungrateful child?

(145 Posts)
minimo Fri 16-Mar-18 13:55:44

I look after my dgs once a week and we've got friendly with another gran who looks after her grandson (around same age as mine). It's been nice for me to have someone to chat to (and commiserate with when the kids get too high-spirited!) and we get on really well.

But her DGS is quite...something. He speaks to her really badly - shouts at her for forgetting his scooter or whatever, and generally treating her like his slave. She laughs it off and it's obviously not my business to comment so I've tried to ignore it hoping my dgs doesn't pick up any bad habits.

It was the boy's birthday last week so we took him a little present today. My dgs handed it over and the little boy ripped it open only to exclaim in disgust that he didn't like it and would throw it in the bin. My dgs had helped pick it out for his friend (it was a dinosaur puzzle so nothing too our of the ordinary I thought?) and I could see he was very confused and upset by this reaction. The other gran was apologetic but I was quite put out that she didn't set him straight - he should have been the one apologising. I know he's only 4 but surely manners should be taught from an early age? What do you think? Is this normal behaviour?

Feelingmyage55 Mon 19-Mar-18 18:02:36

When my children were four I was trying very hard to teach them to be honest and then along came “the good manners white lie” to put a spanner in the works. Fortunately they grasped the “Thank you for the present (no matter what)” lesson after a while but it is not simple at four years old. I have read a thread here from grans about unwanted presents and bearing some of the comments in mind perhaps a little more understanding of the truth versus white lie would be an idea. Sometimes even adults don’t get “it is the thought that counts” and a child so young might be given some leeway and hope that granny explained afterwards.

Grandma70s Mon 19-Mar-18 18:26:27

Well said, Feelingmyage55 Very good points.

gmelon Thu 22-Mar-18 16:26:06

I had a horrendous childhood.
I was also polite when given a gift.
There wasn't any excuse for bad manners in my day and there still isn't.

Cherrytree59 Thu 22-Mar-18 16:48:30

It would seem that in their day some Gran's on GN were practically perfect as children ?

Were of course the perfect parent
*In their day*?

And are now the perfect grandparent,
with delightful well mannered and well behaved grandchildren ?

Iam64 Thu 22-Mar-18 17:47:00

That would be me then Cherrytree59 grin

Cherrytree59 Thu 22-Mar-18 18:10:03

grin Iam64

Bluegal Thu 22-Mar-18 18:59:13

I have followed (most) of the comments on here. What I can deduce is that all those who resort to calling this 'unknown' child a brat, spoilt etc have absolutely no idea about children with any type of problem. I readily admit I do not know whether this child in question is just plain rude, doesn't have any guidance.....but then.........neither do any of you!

Shame on you Grandparents....so quick to judge and refusing to listen to possible explanations.

I feel sorry for all of you. One day there may be a child who enters your life and you will suddenly realise just how judgemental you have been..........but for the Grace of God................

Cherrytree59 Thu 22-Mar-18 19:38:30

Bluegal
Yes. but for the grace of god....

Cherrytree59 Thu 22-Mar-18 19:39:57

Apologises God

Jalima1108 Thu 22-Mar-18 19:52:33

Cherrytree
Absolutely perfect, not practically!! grin

Cherrytree59 Thu 22-Mar-18 20:53:36

Oops confused Jalima with Poppins. ?

alchemilla Thu 22-Mar-18 22:25:31

OP
As mentioned much earlier on, why don't you talk to the grandma, say how hurt your GS was about the present issue and just dig a little bit more into what the issues are. You could mention how hurt you are for her when he is verbally abusive to her. It could be an unhappy home with no rules he understands or any of a hundred other issues.
But if it doesn't work for your GS then leave the contact be.

Jools1953 Fri 23-Mar-18 00:30:33

I wouldn’t want my grandson associating with a horrible child like that. His granny is obviously embarrassed about his behaviour and she’s laughing it off in an attempt to minimise it.

icanhandthemback Fri 23-Mar-18 11:48:40

So at the grand old age of 4 this child is to be ostracised for his behaviour. He didn't stab anybody, he behaved in a way which is socially unacceptable as an adult but maybe that is because he is only 4. He'd certainly learn a lesson from that, one that says that old people are uncompromising whilst young children are to be excluded from nice company for the relatively small sin of not liking something they got for their birthday and having the honesty to say so. No turn the other cheek here or lead by example, just walk away from people if they make a mistake. That will make all the nice grandchildren nicer people!

Jalima1108 Fri 23-Mar-18 14:55:00

Oops confused Jalima with Poppins
grin

Jalima1108 Fri 23-Mar-18 14:55:14

ps it's an easy mistake to make!

Mincub Mon 02-Apr-18 16:28:20

What an ungrateful little brat!
I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to just accept that. I would have said well if it's not good enough for you we will give to another child who isnt so badly behaved as you!
And I would have said to the grandma..he may speak to you like this and you accept it but I dont have to. If a friendship is lost so be it, but it might just be the wake up call the child and the grandma needs.
God knows what his parents must be like!

MissAdventure Mon 02-Apr-18 16:37:35

hmm

kathsue Mon 02-Apr-18 16:49:47

Minicub there's no need for you to throw a tantrum just because the little boy did! Have a little compassion.
Also read what icanhandthemback said a few days ago. She put it much better than I can.