To find the use of 'passed' instead of died irritating?

I will follow your example Grandma70 but for me it will always be died or dead.

gillybob- for your dad.
Long Distance 11 by Tony Harrison
Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn’t just drop in. You had to phone.
He’d put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime.

He couldn’t risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he’d hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
He knew she’d just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven’t both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there’s your name
and the disconnected number I still call.

Really people can use whatever term pleases them. When my mum died recently I used the words "died and dead" because I knew that what remained was my mum's body (now her ashes) and whatever she had been was no more. She isn't lost because she is remembered by all of us and we still talk about her. Some cultures believe in 2 deaths, the first the real physical death and the second when the dead person is no longer spoken of and is forgotten.

I love that poem.
I came across it when I was looking for the right one for my daughters' funeral.
It really touches me

I love it. It always reminds me of my grandparents, possibly because Nana was always popping out to get something.

I do sympathise with the dad in the poem!
I still have my long-dead dog's water bowl in the kitchen, in case her little ghost thinks I've forgotten her. (Yes, I know.). Plus it does come in handy now and then for visiting waggly ones.

A poem by the Scottish poet Thomas Campbell contains this verse

But strew his ashes in the wind
Whose sword or voice has served mankind -
And is he dead, whose glorious mind
Lifts thine on high :–
To live in hearts we leave behind,
Is not to die

I am thinking of having the last two lines on Paw’s stone. .

Maw ❤️

One of my favourites is :
Do not stand at my grave & weep
I am not there,I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow,I am the diamond glint on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,I am the gentle Autumn rain
When you awake in the morning’s blush,I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds In circled flight,I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry,I am not there I did not die.

Mary Elizabeth Fryer

Keffie, you expressed my own views entirely. I know, without being able to explain how I know, that death of consciousness is impossible. That applies to all conscious life forms. We are not 'in the universe'; rather, we all, collectively, create it. I don't believe in 'matter'. I believe in consciousness. It is part of quantum physics, and not 'airy-fairy nonsense'.

I wish someone would start a thread so we could discuss all these things.

Annie your comment about how no-one can feel your pain resonates with me. One of my favourite poems is Envoi by Kathleen Raine:

Take of me what is not my own,
my love, my beauty, and my poem-
the pain is mine, and mine alone.

See how against the weight in the bone
the hawk hangs perfect in mid-air-
the blood pays dear to raise it there,
the moment, not the bird, divine.

And see the peaceful trees extend
their myriad leaves in leisured dance-
they bear the weight of sky and cloud
upon the fountain of their veins.

In rose with petals soft as air
I bind for you the tides and fire-
the death that lives within the flower,
oh gladly, love, for you I bear!

Oh, that really is beautiful!
I have never come across that before, and I'm so glad I did.
I think!

When I talk to my children I don't say die. I say something like when Ive departed this world, shuffled off this mortal coil etc...anything but die!

I don't want to die yet, but I know I must at some point. I do not believe in a spiritual afterlife. Both my parents died relatively young Mum at 61 and Dad at 66 and 5 of my cousins died when children or young adults from very different causes. But all of them are talked about, remembered regularly with much love and laughter.
This is a song that sums it up for me, especially the chorus.

We have cleared off the table, the leftovers saved,
Washed the dishes and put them away
I have told you a story and tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day
As the moon sets its sails to carry you to sleep
Over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company.

CHORUS:
You can be anybody you want to be,
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around,
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done.

There are girls who grow up strong and bold
There are boys quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some go in their own way and time
Some women love women, some men love men
Some raise children, some never do
You can dream all the day never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you.

Don't be rattled by names, by taunts, by games
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you.

youtu.be/MUBc6-keVIQ
Its a lovely song!

Some people believe that they will pass on to a new life with God. It's a lovely belief. I would not shake that belief. It serves no purpose.

It's a horrible phrase...'passed ' always sounds like it should be followed by something yukky..wind, water, kidney stones... It's 'passed AWAY'.

I agree. passed on its own sounds just wrong!

One of mine:-

Untitled I
I do not mourn you every day
I may forget you for a space,
But forever in my eyes
Lies the shadow of your face.

Anniebach Reading your post made me so sad. What a horrible, distressing time you've had. (I don't know how you've managed to come through all that grief.) I, too, lost two babies - twin boys - one died at 4 days old, and one at 4 months. And that had me devastated for years. I still have a good cry about that awful time in my life, sometimes. My love and admiration goes out to you.

annep Whatever gets you through - that's the purpose a belief in life after death serves. I certainly believe that we do not die. We just die from here. And I'm sure that we will all be re-united with our loved-ones, someday. This may all be bunkum! But it doesn't really matter ... If it's true, I shall find out one day and be full of joy! If it's not, I won't know, or care.

(Sorry - I've gone off the subject of the original post.)

Yes everyone this is totally off the post! Lyndiloo I agree. That's why I was saying it serves no purpose to shake or try to destroy someone's belief. Just like you my mother in law said she had nothing to lose by being a Christian because it was a lovely life. And if she was wrong it wouldn't matter. I'm actually thinking of returning to church (after 30 years absence) as it gives me such a peaceful feeling. Friends have been talking recently too about arrangements for when they pass away/die and church is part of it for many.

20 years absence! I do wish we had an edit facility as on fb.

Lyndiloo, I am so sorry, such pain for you, I expect come their birthdays you wonder how they would have grown up, I do.

I have always had faith, and I believe those I grieve for are with God, Christ told us - I go to prepare a place for you.

Sending out love to the people on this post who have suffered such heartbreaking losses.

I’ve been thinking about your post annep, especially your MIL who said she had nothing to lose because being a Christian was a lovely life.

That’s not the Christian life that Jesus talks about in the Gospels though, is it? Following him is hard, it demands sacrifice, loss, denying yourself, giving up your desires and needs, giving up the lovely life lived in the way that gives you pleasure to meet the demand Follow me.

If someone is living a lovely life without following what Jesus said are they living a Christian life?
Can they expect the prize if they haven’t really entered the race?