AIBU for being angry?

Lemongrove thanks for pointing out the similarity in names. Just for clarification, I have no connection with the OP, it's purely coincidence.

Perhaps the new OP will ask to change her name, which could be a good idea.

I thought SueDonim and Suedonim were clever versions of the word Psuedonym.

Perhaps I am wrong and reading too much into things.

I wish Suedonim well with her problems.

Quite annoying, though, SueDonim

I thought having the same or very similar names on GN was prevented when you register.

My online name is indeed a play on pseudonym, although I can't claim to have thought it up myself.

Also, it's not me with the MIL problem, Melanieeastanglia.

The other one is SuedoMIN! See the difference?

I thought having the same or very similar names on GN was prevented when you register.

I think only one character has to differ. Mere similarity will not register with the automated checking system. Look at the number of Janes-with-numbers.

osteo genesis imperfecta, from what I understand, there are several types and some of them can reach old age quite normally.
In any case, you really should not be expected to provide the majority of this lady's care (I use the word lady loosely) as she is really in need of professional care, both regarding the disease, as well as a tendency to lose weight. My mother is six stone and she is tiny - healthy as a horse, only 4 foot nine, but still well above the weight you mention for your MIL

This type of psychological and emotional abuse is now deemed illegal - just like physical abuse!
You really need to stand up to it. They won't accept help? You can!
Speak to your gp, male or female, and make that your first step to helping yourself.
This demanding and controlling behaviour is intolerable so don't tolerate it !

Ok, so I changed my name because of the confusion. I am sorry about the name, I thought I was being a bit clever with the pseudonym thing. Of course it blew up in my face like every little thing I try to do.

Yes my partner is controlling, his mother is controlling and I am being controlled. I know this but can't seem to break free. I have no friends now, the friends we have are drawn to him because he has this funny, cheeky (and vulnerable) outgoing personality and I am quiet and withdrawn. Even when I was taken to hospital our friends were messaging him asking him how he was not one person messaged me. I am aware that I am not liked as much as him and I am seen as not a person in my own right but just his partner.

I am aware I need to run for the hills but when I run there will be nothing, no friends, no social life, nothing, just four walls...

Yes, I am depressed and burnt out, I know this. I have tried to make appointments via the Dr for counselling but the wait is so long and even if I did manage to get an appointment how will I get away to attend?

Got to admit I am feeling pretty hopeless, I keep telling myself to grow a back bone but I just feel defeated.

Go to your GP, ImpBlonde and tell them just what you said in that post. Add that you can't keep on looking after your mother-in-law any longer with no support from ANYONE and you are thinking of walking out and leaving husband and mother-in-law to look after each other, but you fear for their reaction.

You only get the help that you ask for. If you keep carrying the burden as though you are coping, who is to know that you can't?

You have got yourself into a downward spiral Impossibleblonde start with one thing at a time and get some help. You sound quite depressed so this would be the place to start. Could you talk to the nurse at your Dr's surgery and get the ball rolling. Your mother in law has her own problems but you are not responsible for these, start looking after yourself and the rest will become easier.

Thank you I can't think straight right now. I have to get her ready for a hospital appointment. Yes I know it's an ideal time to gain a voice but I am to worn down to cope with the aftermath of such a statement.

I need a little time to just breathe and collect my thoughts and do things with a clear head not the muddled one that currently sits on my shoulders.

You are not being unreasonable. They are - for expecting you to do so much when you are not well yourself. Talk to Age UK to see if there is any help out there for you before it becomes too much. xxxx

You have made a start Impossibleblondeby posting and talking here on GN. Take it slowly. You will get there. Next step talk to your doctor. He may arrange counselling and you can talk to someone who can help you to see things clearly.. There are centres I believe where abused people can go to as well. Can anyone confirm this?

You poor woman you shouldn't be living with your partner he sounds Narcissistic and believe me he will only get worse we are all entitled to go to which doctor we choose and your MIL she's definitely toxic. And for your sake and your health leave the 2 of them to get on with it even if you just have a break for a few days and see how much they will both miss you or if they even do. You deserve a break ?

100% agree with MOnica, they both need putting in their place calmly but assertively. How dare they try to control you when you are clearly giving everything you have to a point of dragging you down. Neither of them seem at all concerned about your feelings at all, and MIL betraying your trust is disgusting. You confided in her because altho you are naturally concerned re your own health you were also concerned about upsetting your husband. He needs to get over himself and get a grip, your own health is more important than anything. As for MIL she just sounds a nasty old woman who does not deserve such a caring DIL. Emotional blackmail is tantamount to emotional cruelty, so do not enable them to carry on. Good luck ?

The fact you even need to ask the original question, just shows how downtrodden you are.
You only have one life, don't let two very manipulative people live it for you. You can seek help from a woman's shelter...they often offer services other than just leaving home.

Suedomin I feel so sorry for you. It seems like this dominating man and his manipulative mother look upon you as their personal slave. You cannot continue like this. They are both very selfish and show little or no gratitude to you, who have virtually put your life on hold for them. Tell your partner it is up to you which gp you see, what right has he to tell you who you can and cannot see? As for his mother, get ss involved again. If she refuses to allow them to get her up, tell her she will have to stay in bed and make it clear that you will no longer be ordered about by her. You are in pain and neither of these awful people seem to care.
I would say just leave, but I agree it is so difficult to walk away. Speak to your gp surgery to see if there are any support groups you can get help from, or do you have any family you can turn to?
You come across as such a caring person, who puts others (who don’t deserve it) first and all you get in return is abuse. Do not allow this to go on because you are afraid she will starve herself if you do not continue being her slave. That would be her choice and, irrespective of what happens to her, it would not be YOUR fault
Please do not allow this bullying to go on, you are worth so much more!

First you have friends, all of us o GN are here for you ad you have taken the first step by coming on GN. So clear your head, quickly for your healths sake, take a deep breath and get help to get away from your bullying partner and mother. You have a life waiting for you. Let us know how you get o.

If you are taking her to hospital today, start to raise her health issues and your own problem and how they are best cared for. The hospital may be able to arrange something for you.

I really know how you feel, ImpossibleBlonde, very difficult for you. Good advice given here...but hard for you to implement. Do try to make a start, tell doctor exactly how you feel, do look after yourself, you can't go on like this. You have been strong for others, now you must be strong for yourself.
I have realised that there is another Bam on Gransnet .... I am Bamm. ( I think Bam was with Gransnet before me ).

You cannot help the way you FEEL as that is regulated by the unconscious parts of the brain / hormones. However anger is a waste of energy. If you could let it die you will have more energy for your recovery.

You can decide what to DO so now is the moment to review your situation and make some choices about your life and the future you want.

Good luck!

What a terrible situation to be in - please take a short break, even if just a walk in the park, and think about yourself and your dreadful lifestyle. You need a proper bed, right now, today. This is an essential for anyone, let alone a person with health problems. As MiL is so tiny and light she could sleep on a smaller bed downstairs perhaps. You MUST get help with her - whether she likes it or not you have a right to a life and cannot continue to be a 24/7 support system and carer for her and be bullied by a totally unreasonable partner. I really have never heard such utter nonsense in the 21 century - what does he think is going on in the surgery? He must have some kind of paranoia to have such thoughts about a medical professional - and you!
This won't be easy but please start today to change this awful life - 'NO' is a very powerful word and I feel strongly that you should be using it regularly from now on.