My partner and I are looking after his elderly mother who can do very little for herself at the moment. I wash her, dress her, cut up her food as well as everything else she 'orders'. I have made myself ill looking after her, we sleep on an air bed in the lounge whilst she has our bed and I have a chronic pain condition called reflex sympathetic dystrophy which is causing me a great deal of pain. I was taken to hospital myself a couple of weeks ago because of it but quickly discharged myself after a scan and some more tests as she had nobody else to look after her (she will not allow my partner to dress her which is understandable)
I received a phone call from the surgery to ask me to make an appointment because the Dr wanted to discuss the results of my scan. I made the appointment and it wasn't until later I realised that the Dr I was seeing was male (my partner is a bit weird about me seeing a male dr). I discussed it with my mother-in-law and she said I should just not tell him about it not being a female Dr, the Dr wasn't going to examine me, just discuss the results and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. I agreed and didn't tell him because it was easier than trying to change the appointment, yet when I arrived at the Drs I received angry texts from my partner as she told him about the male Dr as soon as I left.
This has caused massive arguments between my partner and I and I admit I told him she was just causing trouble and 'stiring it' which has understandably made him even more angry.
I will be honest I am at the point I don't want to look after her now. I get no thanks from her whatsowver, she just sits there expecting everything to be done for her. Before this betrayal I didn't mind too much about the lack of gratitude but now I wonder why I made myself so ill for her when she acts like this.
Am I being unreasonable, should I just 'suck it up and get on with it?
