Photograph of dying Gran

Suggest you visit the Royal Academy in London to see the video art of Bill Viola on the subjects of birth life and death.

Why? We are born, we live, we die. We don't have to have it recorded for public view.

All about the poster's experience of the gran's last hours. Shallow and tasteless.

My cousin sent photographs of her father in his coffin to his relatives in Australia. I got the impression that they were not particularly happy to receive them. She said 'well they weren't able to be at the funeral'.
At least she didn't put them on social media.

Jaycee5 I can understand it if someone takes photos of the flowers, particularly if the person who ordered them wasn't there to see them - but not the father in his coffin.

My one time brother in law son was Italian. When his mother died everything about the funeral was photographed and shared with everyone.
My husband was Indian. When his father died, a relative sent him photos of his father in his coffin.
Not everyone has the same sensibilities.

I believe that here in Victorian days, it was fairly common to dress the body in their best clothes, sit them in a chair, and photograph them for posterity,

Annaram1 at least they were 'looking their best' for the photograph, not lying curled up in a bed, near death.

Annaraml Although some of the Victorian "death photographs" were real - taken because the deceased had no portrait taken in life - many were of live people, as this article explains: www.atlasobscura.com/articles/victorian-post-mortem-photographs

Surely the problem here is not that a photograph was taken but that it was put on social media. Some people may want a photo of the dead or dying or it may be a cultural thing - all well and good but I doubt if many people would then put it on social media for strangers to see.

Customs change - the Victorians were very keen on death masks etc.When photography came in there was a trend for taking pictures of the deceased, especially children, ‘sitting’ in chairs in ‘lifelike’ poses. It seems gruesome to most of us now, but presumably it didn’t seem so then. Victoria herself had mementos - a cast of Albert’s hand, for instance. We don’t seem so upset by other customs - mourning brooches and rings incorporating hair from the deceased . As a girl I remember my surprise at seeing photographs of the deceased on gravestones in France, and being revolted by waxy artificial flowers encased in glass... We may be revolted by some practices ( I wouldn’t dream of visiting the catacombs of Palermo, for instance) but I wouldn’t describe the people who adopted those practices as ‘disrespectful’ just because their world view was /is different.

Victorian days are gone however. It was acceptable then, and in some cultures more than others - but it is NOT now.

It was probably just asking for trouble posting, because the poster's probably already emotionally fragile, and was likely to either reply angrily, or become upset by the thought she might have disrespected her gran. I'd have been inclined to say it's her bereavement let her handle it in her own way. At the end of the day, the old lady was dead and not likely to be embarrassed or upset by the photograph regardless of who was right or wrong about it.

I wouldn’t put it on social media, it seems intrusive to me. So no, I don’t think you were overreacting.

Willow10 Simply keeping that photo on her personal phone was a breach of the rules, let alone showing it to everyone. Even though it was long ago, you should report her. Who knows what sort of other images she has on her phone - she could be keeping autopsy photos, photos of rape victims, anything!
You'd report somebody who was showing ISIS beheading photos around - this is no different.

I looked on Facebook one morning and saw a post asking for prayers for her sister as she had just lost her husband. The husband was my brother in Florida and they had not had time to inform me. You can imagine the shock to me, all because this woman wanted sympathy and prayers! My own husband was that day having major heart surgery. So already under stress!

Lack of respect and no thought for those poor individuals who have no say in the matter the people who put photos like this on social media are attention seeking why they have to live their lives this way wanting everyone knowing their business is one thing but when it involves others who are unaware of this is disgraceful

Normally I don’t like private things shared like it but once it did help me. My husband was in hospital with pneumonia, he was nil by mouth because he kept choking, his dementia was really bad. Every night I went and saw him his tongue was so dry and I would try to moisten it and informed the nurses. Couldn’t go for a couple of days as had a cold and didn’t want to pass more onto him so couple of days later went back and he was picking at his tongue, had turned black and orange with dryness,again told staff and was told his oral care was being managed.
Took a picture of his tongue, not face and tweeted it to the hospital, it got the job done and his mouth was always fine afterwards though I did get told off for taking the picture as was told it would be a matter for safeguarding, I didn’t care though

Having seen Oldfossil's post reminds me that when I go to the local crematorium to visit my husband's burial plot, there are a lot of plots here with photos of the dead in their good days. And artificial flowers. Frenchified customs here!!! Oh dear!

Absolutely awful. The poor gran had no say in it and would probably hate people seeing her like that. Total lack of respect. If my family did that to me I would come back and haunt them.

Willow10 I'm very shocked and sorry that you were shown that awful picture by someone working in a police call centre. I think she should have been officially reprimanded at the very least for having and sharing that image. Shame on her for her lack of respect and feelings.

Beckett I get your point. Social media does allow different world views / cultural practices to enter our own preferred environment in a way that can be disconcerting or distressing to us. We need to be quick at averting our eyes.

I would be upset too Jane. Was the person posting someone you know? Also did the person in the photo know her image was being posted. If not it is very disrespectful.
I think the problem. Is people just post things on socialmedia without really considering the impact.

No you were NOT over reacting. I think people's concept of personal and private have altered - and not for the better. Where is the poster's respect. I think they do it to get attention.

flowers being photographed are one thing we have a picture somewhere of grandads flowers but photographing dead people especially ones who had suffered and taken their own lives is quite another thing. i just think its very wrong