To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

I isn't like dummies at all, my children didn't have them nor did my grandchildren. But I know some people find them very helpful to comfort their children. I can see the problem if she has always used one as a comforter taking it away I'd hard. Could you perhaps replace it with a soft toy that she can chose.? Tell her she can swap it for something she would like.

Too old in my opinion but DS kept his under his pillow, like a security blanket, till he was 4

My granddaughter's twin boys were offered dummies because she thinks (as a nursery practitioner) that it is easier to get rid of a dummy than their thumbs or fingers (lol). But neither of them took to the dummies; one of the boys occasionally uses his thumb or finger (or yours if your hand goes close enough!) but the other one shoves as many fingers in as he can, to the point of making himself gag! So I'm with her regarding dummies; much easier to get rid of, bu 5 much too old to be still using one especially during the day.

Well....You don't see many adults sucking a dummy but I have seen several sucking their thumbs....or a fag.....

My nephew and his wife just told their 2 year old he was too old for a dummy, put it in the bin and that was it - no fuss!

I think they should give up a dummy or other comforter when they want to, not before. If they are old enough you can discuss it with them. My younger son had a dummy for a while (never in public), then had one of those lidded cups with a little spout to suck. He had that until he was seven, at home only. None of us worried about it or tried to make him give it up. He has perfect teeth.

As a child I used to suck the end of my plaits. My parents would never have allowed a dummy, so I don’t know what I did before my hair was long enough to suck!

It seems to me mum has the problem worrying about how the child will react to giving it up. She just needs to man (lady) up and do it. 5 is far to old for a dummy.

I think many of today's parents are frightened of any confrontation.
It doesn't need to be like that, they need to use some subtle psychology and persuade their children that that is what they want to do themselves.

Otherwise just learn to say NO. Who is the parent round here?

True, Callistemon....children these days are treated with kid gloves and it's not in their interests. They are growing up thinking they can do exactly as they please. This little girl should be told that there is a rule that all children must have given up dummies before they start school. She won't want to be different from all the other children.

None of mine had dummies, but my younger grandchildren have had them, and honestly, I think if I had my time again, I’d be tempted

My daughter gave them all warning, that on a certain day they were all going, and never had any trouble

The youngest one can take it or leave it, but it’s useful for getting her to sleep

But five, I think is too old

No way is it abuse, the story about the man who kept a Bit of his comfort blanket was moving, I knew someone who as a child was attached to a certain cuddly toy which was taken from him to mend or wash but he never got it back and it was destroyed because it was deemed that he was too fond of it. He said that he was distraught and blamed himself, and yes did grow up, for a job, got married, had a family, told someone the story one day who managed to track down the same sort of toy and gave it to him, and he was so happy.
Children are people and their feelings should be taken into account. Considering that a high proportion of children nowadays suffer from mental health problems we ought to acknowledge their needs and feelings as and how important they are to them rather dismiss them

Never, ever used a dummy.

One of my daughters had a blanket that she took to bed with her always, it was never allowed to be taken out of the house, but she always took it on overnight stays

Many years later she was on a business trip in Germany, and left it in her hotel room, she was devastated

Youngest DD had a dummy. At 2 we told her she could only have it while she was asleep in her cot which she was ok with. We then told her some weeks before her 3rd birthday it was going altogether. It was like withdrawal from crack cocaine (I imagine!) but we didn’t cave in though it came very close.

I can imagine every Health Visitor, School Nurse and Speech Therapist cringing at the thought of a 5 year old with a dummy. Not only can it affect speech but development of the teeth particularly the 2nd teeth because it affects the position of the gums. I was a HV and have never agreed with babies/children having a dummy but in over 30 years I’ve never seen a 5 year old with one.

GrandmaJan

I’m not disagreeing, because I would never at the time considered letting any of my children have a dummy, but one had a security blanket she was totally attached to, another one sucked her thumb, which was a very hard habit break, at least you can throw the dummy away

No child needs a dummy after two years old. They may cry for it for a couple of days then it’s over forever. You can never take a thumb away from a thumb sucker.

I think dummies are harmless enough if only used at home, mainly at bedtime. Sucking thumbs can change tooth growth though, so is more of a problem. I'd say just leave it to the parents or child to decide when to stop.

No child needs a dummy after two years old. - a bold statement with no reasons to back it up!

Personally I think it is too old, I never used dummies so don't really like them. They can cause problems with letting the teeth come through in the correct place according to my dentist. I would take a step back and let the parents get on with it. They will only see it as interfering and may cause some tension.

If the worry is about speech then bedtime use is surely not a problem. Interestingly the British orthodontic society is much less worried about dummy use than finger or thumb , www.bos.org.uk/Public-Patients/Patient-Information-Leaflets but they'd not worry until age 7 when the adult teeth are starting to come through. That gives a 5 year old enough time to gently wean from it. It's often good to look at what the experts say.

She is just a wee child, not a dog to be trained! Give her a break!!

Haven't read all the posts, but I understand your concerns, Tonks. IMO, this is a parental decision, though, not a GP one. I don't blame you for sharing your concerns w/ DD, but now, I think you have to leave it up to her. After all, if she took away the child's dummy and it caused the problems she's worried about, how would you feel? And what would that do to your relationship w/ DD?

"... but she's anxious that it'll ruin her sleep..."

Does this mean GD is only using the dummy at night, to help her fall asleep? Some posters seem to think so, but for me, it isn't clear. If it's just at night, no risk of being teased at school and not too much worry about damage to teeth or speech, I don't think (not sure). So I would stop worrying.

If the child is comforted by it, no one should cry 'too old'!

I bowed to pressure from my own mother when she said my son, at 4, no longer needed his 'comfort blanket' and allowed her to take it.

It caused him deep distress and many, many sleepless nights, and all because a selfish old woman put appearances and "what will people think" before the comfort of my little son.

And I, to my eternal shame, went along with that despicable view.