Phones etc and manners

Sarnia

I feel annoyed when I see a customer using their phone when they are being served by an assistant or cashier. I would be tempted to sit there until they had either finished their chat or got the message that I wasn't impressed before serving them.

I used to work on the counter in a bank. If I was in the middle of serving someone and their phone went and they answered it, ignoring me, I stopped whatever I was doing for them, and started tidying the money in my till.

When they realised and finished their call, I made them wait while I finished what I was doing, then turned to them with a smile and said, “Now where were we?”

I was getting close to retirement, I had always put the customer first, but felt, ‘s.d it, they can see what it’s like to be ignored’.

Hadn't really thought of it as more than an irritation/rudeness but reading here makes me agree that it is indeed an addiction. A rather unhealthy one at that. I was having difficulty accessing a zoom business meeting. When I eventually got in the chair said she'd been trying to phone me. When I responded that I disconnect my landline and mobile during meetings to prevent distraction the faces of the committee were an absolute picture of disbelief. I did use the opportunity to rub in how rude I thought it was in general. Uncomfortable silence and then the meeting proceeded and..... yes...... phones did ring. Stony ground indeed.

sounds like we're married to the same man
so annoying and nothing we can do really
I put the radio sometimes and he will take himslf off to another room

I was out for a walk and lunch with a friend I don't see very often. As we left the cafe to walk home her daughter rang her. She said she was out with me but then proceeded to talk to her for the whole way home. It was only chit chat that could have been left for later. I walked home next to her in silence, the call ended as we got back to her car. No apology or explanation that it was important.

Is it possible that there is something about your subject/tone of voice/ body language that turns him off? Are you by any chance taking the superior role here? Thats sulky teenager bebaviourvId say and the only way out is to moderate yourself. Tw if anyone took my ohone away in the manner suggested by other correspondents I'd walk away. Maybe run.

My partner does the same. I'm thinking of getting rid of him. It's so rude!!

@Kim19 My thoughts exactly. The mobile phone is a mixed blessing and is for some people an addiction. Why anyone could be expected to put up with such rudeness is beyond me. As to treating one's wife with such lack of consideration - ignorant and ill mannered are the words that come to mind. Just tell him so!

With my husband it’s not ‘ the phone’..... but has always been the tv.... it is an addiction. He watches junk from getting up ( about 8) ‘til about 1 am. If you try and have a serious talk about his addiction he tells me to “stick my nose into someone else’s business”. Believe me his TV addiction has ruined the last 20 years of our marriage. Now he won’t go out at all. An addiction is an addiction, no matter what form it takes.bI now don’t speak to him at all, and that’s what you need to do with your partner.... ignore him, the way he ignores you!

Suzan05

My husband is the same with his iPad. He’s on it from the minute he gets up to the minute he goes to bed. No conversation and very often he ignores me if I try to start one or mention something to him. On rare occasions he answers but still with his head in the iPad. It’s hurtful and I’m left feeling lonely and of no worth.
On occasion he has complained that I haven’t told him something, when I say that I did but his head was in his iPad he refuses to speak.
If the tv is on during the evening he sits in front of it still on the iPad, I really don’t know what to do or how to cope with it any more.
This has caused so many rows that now we live pretty much in silence and in separate rooms He also spends time on the main computer which is his so I have no access to it. All of this started nearly four years ago, I don’t think he will change now as we are both mid to late sixties.

My husband is exactly the same, on his computer the instant he gets downstairs and pretty on it the rest of the day apart from having a meal, when he stares at ancient tv shows like Last of the Summer Wine. He won’t come out for a walk with me so he groans like an old man when he has to move himself. I worry about his fitness and told him I won’t be pushing his wheelchair when he can no longer walk due to his inaction. His 95 year old father is more active!

Edith B my husband is exactly the same I sympathise. He does play football still with his ‘pensioner’ team, but Monday through Saturday he is watching Only Fools whilst playing on his phone. It used to drive my sons nuts when they lived here. Another generation but they weren’t that interested in their smartphones but rather IRL experiences. Now they are gone and I’m left with a screen zombie.

DillytheGardener

Edith B my husband is exactly the same I sympathise. He does play football still with his ‘pensioner’ team, but Monday through Saturday he is watching Only Fools whilst playing on his phone. It used to drive my sons nuts when they lived here. Another generation but they weren’t that interested in their smartphones but rather IRL experiences. Now they are gone and I’m left with a screen zombie.

So glad I am not alone, what is it with these tv repeats from last century? I have to listen to the very loud Star Trek music literally every evening! The only repeats I would watch are Victoria Wood because she is still hilarious.

Really bad mannered and my DH does this too. I tried repeating the same behaviour back at him but he just didn't seem to notice!

I only have a bog standard phone, makes calls, takes photos and does texts. I only put it on if Mr B and I are out and are going to meet. I have a friend who comes around with her husband and answers every call and text and then shares it with us. Last time they came around I greeted them at the front door and held out what we call the the phone box that we use for the gc to put their phones in and asked her to just put her phone in it and she could pick it up when she left. She got the message.

While on holiday with my friend last year, I was a bit put out at breakfast, while chatting away, she picked up her phone, looking at messsages.
I stopped talking and she looked up and told me to carry on.
I told her I’d wait till she’d finished what she was doing.
Rude imo!

My husband is also guilty of this, yet he was the one who maintained HE would never get a mobile. He maintains others are rude and welded to their mobiles yet he cannot leave his tablet alone and watches re runs of old comedy shows with loud guffaws, endless planes taking off or landing etc. Even if I'm on the landline to my SIL talking about something serious & important to her he will be hooting with laughter much louder than necessary to the point where I can hardly hear her. Even if the TV is not on and I dare to listen to a piece of music on my tablet he will pointedly hand me his earphones and tell me to use them. He thinks nothing of interrupting me when I'm watching a 30 minute episode on TV of something I like though, usually to demand I write a shopping list 'now' (this is in the evening for the next afternoon) or, did I see this or that in the morning paper? I have tried to mirror this behaviour back but I get loud tuts, rolling eyes and flashes of temper.
My friend who is my age will occasionally put her phone on view but apologise for doing so & I am the same - e.g. when daughter was overdue or news of a poorly relative expected or a call from her daughter overseas expected. My SIL is wedded to his phone to the point of rudeness.

My ex was another who really disliked Facebook- until he signed up for it, that is.
Then his whole life revolved around it.

The person I knew bore little resemblance to his online persona.

My husband is getting the same , i walk away telling him to let me know when he is free to listen to me!
He got the message!

Went on holiday with a friend and found he constantly did this when I was talking , after couple days of putting up with it , then I decided I’d play him at his own game . We went out one evening at the hotel , lovely music and Spanish dancers and he kept telling me how wonderful they were , so, my reply was to ignore him as I was far too “ busy “ checking texts and sending messages on my phone , he didn’t like it one bit that I wasn’t taking any notice , but , I didn’t care . Later when we got back to our hotel room he told me it rude of me not to answer him at the show , so, I said, now you know how it feels because you’ve been doing just that same thing to me past couple days ...so .for the rest of the week he kept his phone well hidden when we were in conversation.....did the trick ...

My h does this loads. I just stop talking and leave the room. He then says sorry and tries to encourage me to speak. I just say no, sorry you’ve missed it now, you’ll have to manage without knowing ?

Not my husband as he doesn’t have a phone but the adult children who sit in my house on their phones while we entertain the grandkids and cook. So rude! I’m going to confiscate in future.

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I'm guilty of this. Yes it's an addiction.

It is not polite to break off from a conversation without an ' Excuse me' if the call / message is important. However, if your DH already knows what you are going to be saying but does not know what his phone messages are saying he will prioritise the phone. Sometimes in a relationship, like marriage, one partners ' important info' is dull or repetitive to the other partner.

I am the one " guilty" in our home of always having my phone by my side. Especially during CV19 isolation as it has been my connection with family & friends. Mealtimes are the exception & I would also consider meals as conversation time too, so no checking phones then!

I tend not to take my phone when out

It is rude.
My son has a habit of while I'm watching a programme, of watching something on his phone with the sound turned up - mid conversation too!
I got so annoyed with him one evening that I grabbed his phone out of his hand and tucked it down the side of my chair! Worked for about a week !
When I was at work, I spent more than one lunchtime (some days I was working in an office all on my own) going into the staff room, where several of my work colleauges were sitting,eating my lunch and going back to work without exchanging one word with any of them - they were all on their phones!