Second Opinions - Saying NO to Quarentine in Our House with Our Baby

You are the parents now. Time to stop being the children. Time to be responsible for the well-being of your family.

Not only no to staying. NO to any visits until the quarantine period is over.

Time to step up into adulthood ?

Be firm and say no as you need time as a new family ignore the squabbling and messages.

Kali2

Why are 4 of them coming from different countries at the same time. A special celebration, Christening or similar?

Hotels might be expensive, but they can share a rented cottage or holiday home, B&B, RBnB, etc, and you can arrange for food to be delivered to them.

Just say it is illegal- and could get you all into big trouble.

I feel for you.

I wonder if they actually can share rented accommodation like an Air BnB if they have come from different amber list countries. Should they not quarantine separately as 2 couples?

That's a very enlightening website Meryl and well worth passing on. It sets the rules out very clearly. OP should definitely forward it to the 'visitors'.
The only thing it doesn't make clear is that the place of quarantine should not be with a resident family.

Oh dear, I read further back on the website and found this

Quarantine can include staying:
in your own home
with friends or family
in a hotel or other temporary accommodation that is not a managed quarantine hotel.

I hope they don't see the bit I've highlighted.

Just remember the reason you are saying no, new baby and wife. Then say I need to prioritize them and you can be honest when they ask, what should do? The reply, you will need to find somewhere else to stay.

Absolutely not, you are not being unreasonable at all. A new baby should be a time for you and your family, and it would put you all at risk - what if they actually had it?
I have 3 relatives staying with me at the moment for 8 weeks in a large house. They have already quarantined at a hotel and I don't have a baby. It is incredibly hard work even so, we will be lucky if we haven't all fallen out by the end of it. It's very intrusive having people with different ways, thoughts and habits in your home. Just say no!

The whole point of quarantine is that you are away from other people!!

As a nurse and midwifery sister I say absolutely NOT under any circumstances should they quarantine in your home .
Shame on them for even asking and putting you all at risk .Don’t let this ruin such a special time you are RIGHT to refuse ?

I don't see how they can fulfil quarantining requirements in your home, with you present, unless you have self contained premises within it.

Speaking as someone who is likely to have 2 relatives quarantined here for 10 days in a 4 bedroomed house, although we are both vaccinated I feel apprehensive. But if I had a newborn here I would absolutely not allow it. Who knows what those wannabe visitors could have picked up at airports or planes x 2? Stand your ground!

No, they are being completely and utterly selfish , stupid and irresponsible and I would tell them so, it is an unacceptable risk with a new baby.
No need to beat about the bush , this is a situation where you need to tell them straight and if they sulk, ignore them and enjoy your new baby

Agree with others say no. You and your family come first. As you have a new born you need time to get used to being parents and you are going to be exhausted. Think your relatives are being unreasonable expecting you to put them up. Quarantine means they are away from other people it's amazes me they think it doesn't apply to them.

Definitely do not have them .As a retired midwife I would say No People carry COVID without any symptoms Have they had both COVID jabs but you can still get COVID Your wife and you are busy learning to be new parents which is tough at the best of times and lack of sleep .Your wife needs rest not to entertain 4people Tell them to find a hotel for 10days Good luck to the 3off you

Definitely say "NO!"
They should have had an ounce of common sense and delayed the visit, whatever the culture.
Make sure your wife is NOT upset. You two and your newborn are the priority, not someone else's feelings.

Do they not realise they are quarantining for a reason? And that reason is so they don't infect others, so why would they even consider risking you and your family? Especially if the would-be quarantiners are family members thenselves, that's just plain selfish.

I would not want these people as friends or family if they are bullying and manipulative. Why are they visiting, are they coming to see your new baby. Having house guests (even if only for the day) when a new baby has arrived can be very stressful for all. Stay strong and say No, No, No!!!

Spiteful? That's nasty emotional blackmail . "Look, we have to go out, for work / shopping / chores / church / whatever, so you won't be quarantining at all, since we are not all stuck here for the duration of your quarantine. We have a new baby, and she is vulnerable; and four extra people means more work for us, even if you do your part. Also, I do not think it is polite for you to be assuming we owe you this favour." End of story.

People like these are selfish and totally unreasonable. Why should you feel bad about saying ‘no’ - if more people said ‘no’ we might have got over all this by now.

Let them sulk.

Whoever they are have no idea about just what quarantining is for!
I bet they thought that they would be saving money by not staying in a hotel where they will also be regulated as to where they can go!(No wandering out of the building for the odd coffee/lunch/dinner/shopping!)
They have turned, what should be a joyous time for you both into something so upsetting that it will never be forgotten. Stick to your guns it really isn't your fault that these selfish, selfish people can't see the point.

I'd say no, and I saw your thread on mn. I'd also be saying that you won't be contacting them until they recover theit good manners and Id be (maybe temporarily) blocking their access to you on social media too!

No, you are not being unreasonable. Even if they are grandparents, they should have consideration for you and your baby.

SunshineDad21, if it you and your wife think it is unreasonable, you are in full agreement with each other and are ready to take on the world together, you are not being unreasonable. As important as family is, it is your job as parents to protect your family now and if the wider family don't like it, that is their problem.
That said, try to be a little empathetic for their disappointment. I'd be inclined to be a bit like the Royal Family and put out a statement which says how disappointed you are that they cannot visit in a way that keeps your precious child safe within the confines of a World Pandemic. Thank them for their understanding that they wish to keep their Grandchild safe and that that he/she is looking forward to seeing them when the rules are relaxed. I'd probably also say that I was going to maintain a period of radio silence in order to concentrate on your new family.
The way you handle this at this point is so important. Your family have to realise that they do not call the shots and that this is your family and your rules. They have a choice which means they can play the game appropriately or withdraw. They way you handle your family is also important in the context of your marriage too. Your wife needs to know that you have her back because this sort of thing colours perception when the mistakes add up further down the line. Hormones, tiredness and gilt being well and truly being chipped of the gingerbread make everything feel 10 times worse.
Congratulations to you both on the birth of your baby.

Of course you are right to say no, and it isn't legal for them to quarantine with you anyway. Having so many visitors staying whilst you have a small baby would be difficult even without the risk of covid. It is completely unreasonable of them even to ask you. They'd want to hold and even kiss the baby, absolutely out of the question, just SO selfish of them.

A definite No. Remember you would need to quarantine to. The visitors are being totally unreasonable. I wouldn't care how manipulative they try to be they are wrong expecting you to accommodate them with both the quantine issue and the new baby. Sounds like you are better off if they don't visit for quite some while.